Friend or what? Not really sure

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In my past i have always met 3 kinds of people:

1. The kinds who tell me they are my friends and actually use me for something and then forget me.
2. The kinds who are around, dont really bother much, but are not offensive
3. The kinds who spend some time with me and will tell me i am doing something wrong, but even they typically forget me once the common thing that brought us together gets over.

The first kind has been the ones that i recently try very hard to identify as i either get into trouble due to them or mostly they take what they want and then go away, which leave me confused (something i hate more than anything).

The second kind, does not really bother me.They are nice and recently i kind of like them as they do not say they are "friends" and dont fake upset when leaving.

The third kind is difficult. Most of the time their feedback is honest and upfront, but it follows with dialogue, which makes me feel as if i am not making enough effort to be "normal". That is difficult for me to take, as although i have worked very hard to learn social nuances. I still cant get them right. My family says i dont stand out as a sore thumb, i come across as immature for my age and slightly eccentric. So when i get this feedback, it hits me very badly as i am trying my best. It typically leads to a mild meltdown in front of my family.
When i get the negative feedback, I am generally stuck in my head. In my head there is just one loop "But i never meant it that way". I generally ask the person what can i do to improve, but they dont seem to get it when i say "i dont get it" and keep on suggesting things, which make me feel more and more alien. I do sit and listen but then when i am back in my comfort zone, it all plays in my mind and i keep on feeling i am never going to get there. I just want a life where i am not constantly worrying about making a mistake and somehow i cant seem to get there however much i try.

So i have 3 questions:

1. My brother says i should listen to them, but if i find it too difficult i should not bother with it. Mom says anybody who makes me cry is bad, but agrees that i do tend to forget to be polite or do something not like other girls. I keep on swaying between following the rules that i know of and then going into depths when i fail. What should i do?
2. I really dont know if i can call any of them friends. Honestly over the past 3 years i am kind of scared of the word "friend", it just seems to always hurt. So are any of these friends?
3.Not related to the this topic but I find people forget me very easily. Does any body feel that people find them very easy to forget?

Thanks
S

<-----World's Most Forgotten Boy.

I think you shouldn't bother about the name. If you enjoy being with them, then try to be with them, spend time together, etc.

3.Not related to the this topic but I find people forget me very easily. Does any body feel that people find them very easy to forget?[/quote]
I feel like that too. I think, in my case, it is a combiantion of not engaging very often in interactions with others (which make me less memorable) and of biased perception. After all, I remember other people very often, yet don't necessarly show it -- or rather, never at all show it, never mind doing something to be remembered --, so can I expect legitimately anything else from other people?

redrobin62- Thanks for replying. May be we can star in a series of "forgotten ____" like forgotten species or forgotten tribes. I can just imagine people suddenly seeing us and going "oh look how amazing they are!"

enrico_dandolo:

I actually enjoy things that are mostly solitary. I dont enjoy doing most of the things people seem to like to do and what i like to do they dont seem to enjoy. Also it is difficult to enjoy when you are watching yourself constantly, like i do. Atleast that is the way i feel.



I agree with you and this is what i thought 2 years back. So i tried to keep in touch and made a point to remember and keep in touch. That is when i realised that actually, it also works the opposite way. Others also have to want to remember you. That is when i came to this conclusion.