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Wolfmaster
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29 Jun 2012, 4:11 pm

I haven't been on here for over a year, so I thought it'd be a good idea to participate in the community again. lol.

My mom is proud of me because no one can ever tell anything is wrong with me. I always act like a mature, neurotypical guy. I can go up to any band member (I go to way to many concerts lol) and have a good conversation. I told a youth leader in church that I was autistic (since most people are going to be more familiar with the term autism than aspergers) and he was like "man, I couldn't tell." I can have in-depth conversations with many people about many things. I can talk about my disability with anyone, any time. I can have a reasonable conversation with anyone, any time.

All my other aspie friends find it amazing that I can just talk about anything and act like a regular human being. It used to be obvious that I had disabilities when I was younger because of the obsession and abnormal behavior pattern traits, and considering the fact I have three other disorders, people just find it amazing I can act how I do.

I want to hear other's thoughts on this...



Valkyrie2012
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29 Jun 2012, 4:28 pm

well... my thoughts are is that in spite of an Aspies difficulties; we wear masks that most can not see through and we can maintain it for most the time we are in public. I personally need a lot of down time to recover. I say most can't tell because no matter how good I think I am hiding my issues, some in my family, and even my boyfriend can tell. People outside my home, never notice I am scrambling and near panicking, or completely out of the loop. So, when I share the fact I am aspie, they say "are you sure? You don't act autistic to me... you must be extremely high functioning"

Yet - my boss is always saying "it is such a hoot to work with you.. you never know what you will say or do to crack me up next" ... yet this is one of the people that say they can't tell I am aspie... eh? ... I am a serious.. over serious person.. it is NEVER my intention to "crack someone up"

As for your liking concerts... I am the opposite in that. I can not tolerate a concert unless I want to send myself into shutdown. I am hyper in most my senses. I am thinking you must be hypo... my son is hypo and he loves going out and to large groups.. he also loves to fall to the floor, crash about, and always has such bad injuries and doesn't know it.

All that said - we can and do learn social rules, it is in the applying them and timing of them that I fall down. I used to be blissfully unaware of how many social blunders I used to make... as I have gotten older.... whole different story...



mightyzebra
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29 Jun 2012, 5:03 pm

It's great that most people can't tell you're Aspie, obviously you've really got the NT skills and speech to "fool" people. I think some people who aren't my age can't tell there's anything "different" about me, but I'm pretty sure most of my peers, though I haven't told them, reckon I'm not normal. I think I get self-conscious and appear desperate with people of my own age, which means I tend to get on better with people who are younger or older than I am. There are exceptions, of course, but I guess I don't feel natural with everyone.


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29 Jun 2012, 5:51 pm

Most of the time I don't deliberately wear a mask and as far as I can tell I come across as reasonably NT to most people. However the secretary at my previous place of work really couldn't figure me out. I think she would be the only person there who wouldn't be surprised if I explained I had AS.


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iggy64
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29 Jun 2012, 5:59 pm

I guess this is evidence of the entire spectrum, people are found at EVERY point, and the line between 'aspie' and 'NT' is not fixed if you can appear NT. currently, I cannot imagine a day that I could appear normal to those around me, but maybe that's because the people around me have known me since I was younger. I've seen a lot of discussions on whether ASDs get less severe, or more severe with age. I think experience has a lot to do with how well you appear to function around people.


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again_with_this
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29 Jun 2012, 7:39 pm

Valkyrie2012 wrote:
Yet - my boss is always saying "it is such a hoot to work with you.. you never know what you will say or do to crack me up next" ... yet this is one of the people that say they can't tell I am aspie... eh? ... I am a serious.. over serious person.. it is NEVER my intention to "crack someone up"


I've had people I've worked with, and got along with, actually tell me one of the things they like about me is that I have "no filter," and will say things they wouldn't dare say, but agree with. It's almost like I'm a novelty to them, though they themselves could never act as I do. I always found this odd, as I do think I filter much, but I guess I will often speak my mind with less regard for how I appear socially.

Is this an aspie thing?



2wheels4ever
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30 Jun 2012, 12:45 am

When I was younger and convinced that music was my ticket to my future I didn't have the ability or desire to talk to random people and generate interest in my music. Since those times I became engulfed in a different interest/job that presented me with just enough people to deal with. Although I was happy working in the back, the desire to see others get into this interest led to me reading trade publications that had sales strategies and from those I acquired the art of schmooze somewhat. The fact that I truly believed in the product and the fact that half of the people that walked in were there to buy, and being a niche itself all synched up nicely to give me the confidence to keep at it.
Mind you I have a lot of success in those interest fields but haven't crossed the gap much to other walks of life


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League_Girl
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30 Jun 2012, 4:41 am

Wolfmaster wrote:
I haven't been on here for over a year, so I thought it'd be a good idea to participate in the community again. lol.

My mom is proud of me because no one can ever tell anything is wrong with me. I always act like a mature, neurotypical guy. I can go up to any band member (I go to way to many concerts lol) and have a good conversation. I told a youth leader in church that I was autistic (since most people are going to be more familiar with the term autism than aspergers) and he was like "man, I couldn't tell." I can have in-depth conversations with many people about many things. I can talk about my disability with anyone, any time. I can have a reasonable conversation with anyone, any time.

All my other aspie friends find it amazing that I can just talk about anything and act like a regular human being. It used to be obvious that I had disabilities when I was younger because of the obsession and abnormal behavior pattern traits, and considering the fact I have three other disorders, people just find it amazing I can act how I do.

I want to hear other's thoughts on this...



You sound you are doing better than me when I was your age. People could still tell I was different, I still talked about my obsessions when I could. My social skills were not that good back then either. I was more literal then too. but I magically got better as I got older. It's as if I developed slowly than my peers. Well that is what AS is all about, we tend to mature at slower pace than everyone else and we stop somewhere. I think I am still growing inside. But I never feel comfortable talking about my disabilities.

Sometimes I feel I have outgrown it and only have traits now. But my husband reminds me of the fact I still have it because he sees more than what I see.


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30 Jun 2012, 4:45 am

again_with_this wrote:
Valkyrie2012 wrote:
Yet - my boss is always saying "it is such a hoot to work with you.. you never know what you will say or do to crack me up next" ... yet this is one of the people that say they can't tell I am aspie... eh? ... I am a serious.. over serious person.. it is NEVER my intention to "crack someone up"


I've had people I've worked with, and got along with, actually tell me one of the things they like about me is that I have "no filter," and will say things they wouldn't dare say, but agree with. It's almost like I'm a novelty to them, though they themselves could never act as I do. I always found this odd, as I do think I filter much, but I guess I will often speak my mind with less regard for how I appear socially.

Is this an aspie thing?



I have been told I say things lot of people wouldn't say and I have been told by my husband I have no filter and that I am honest to a fault even though there are lot of things I also would not say.

I would say it is an aspie thing and good thing people do embrace that in you. It makes your social situations a lot easier.


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Wolfmaster
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30 Jun 2012, 12:26 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Wolfmaster wrote:
I haven't been on here for over a year, so I thought it'd be a good idea to participate in the community again. lol.

My mom is proud of me because no one can ever tell anything is wrong with me. I always act like a mature, neurotypical guy. I can go up to any band member (I go to way to many concerts lol) and have a good conversation. I told a youth leader in church that I was autistic (since most people are going to be more familiar with the term autism than aspergers) and he was like "man, I couldn't tell." I can have in-depth conversations with many people about many things. I can talk about my disability with anyone, any time. I can have a reasonable conversation with anyone, any time.

All my other aspie friends find it amazing that I can just talk about anything and act like a regular human being. It used to be obvious that I had disabilities when I was younger because of the obsession and abnormal behavior pattern traits, and considering the fact I have three other disorders, people just find it amazing I can act how I do.

I want to hear other's thoughts on this...



You sound you are doing better than me when I was your age. People could still tell I was different, I still talked about my obsessions when I could.


What I do when I'm with some of my friends is I get them alone for a single conversation, and then discuss something new that's happened that interests me and then not participate in multi-person conversations because it's almost always about some sports team won some game or something about sports or TV and I DON'T GIVE A F***********CK about sports or TV.



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03 Jul 2012, 5:25 pm

Wolfmaster wrote:
I haven't been on here for over a year, so I thought it'd be a good idea to participate in the community again. lol.

My mom is proud of me because no one can ever tell anything is wrong with me. I always act like a mature, neurotypical guy. I can go up to any band member (I go to way to many concerts lol) and have a good conversation. I told a youth leader in church that I was autistic (since most people are going to be more familiar with the term autism than aspergers) and he was like "man, I couldn't tell." I can have in-depth conversations with many people about many things. I can talk about my disability with anyone, any time. I can have a reasonable conversation with anyone, any time.

All my other aspie friends find it amazing that I can just talk about anything and act like a regular human being. It used to be obvious that I had disabilities when I was younger because of the obsession and abnormal behavior pattern traits, and considering the fact I have three other disorders, people just find it amazing I can act how I do.

I want to hear other's thoughts on this...


lucky b!tch.
lol


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EtreOptimiste
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04 Jul 2012, 1:07 am

I think it's great that you have so much confidence in yourself and that you're gaining more and more control over your life. I wish there was a magic formula that would enable all Aspies to do that. Well done on your achievements, but can you tell us how you managed to get this far? Did you get counselling or some kind of professional help? Also, I don't want to dampen your spirits but how can you be sure that no one thinks that there's anything wrong with you?



IndieSoul
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04 Jul 2012, 1:20 am

iggy64 wrote:
I guess this is evidence of the entire spectrum, people are found at EVERY point, and the line between 'aspie' and 'NT' is not fixed if you can appear NT. currently, I cannot imagine a day that I could appear normal to those around me, but maybe that's because the people around me have known me since I was younger. I've seen a lot of discussions on whether ASDs get less severe, or more severe with age. I think experience has a lot to do with how well you appear to function around people.


I agree with this. I have a pretty mild case, but you (OP) sound loads more sociable than I am - that's great :) I'm an introvert in every way, shape and form, so not only do I have difficulty relating to people and their conversations, I really don't care if I form these relationships in the first place. I'm hoping this will change as I move into college life in a completely new place, but right now I am fine being a loner.


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05 Jul 2012, 10:12 am

Congratulations.

You have adapted enough to overcome your disability.

That is absolutely awesome. :D



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06 Jul 2012, 2:59 am

I can do this to a large degree. Extended exposure to me always reveals me in the end, but it can take quite a while before anyone realizes I'm all that different, if I keep the "masquerade" as I like to call it up.


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06 Jul 2012, 10:21 pm

Wow, I wish I could manage to be as sociable as you; you're certainly braver than I am. Most of my inability to socialize comes from social phobia, which may or may not be caused by Asperger's, but regardless, it makes striking up conversations with strangers impossible A because I never know how to start, and B because I'm too afraid to say anything even if I did know how to start. Hopefully one day, whatever you have managed will drop on me too... it would certainly make life much easier! I suppose all I really need is practise, but how can you practise when you don't know where to begin?


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