Any Aspies here who go clubbing with your NT peers?

Page 1 of 1 [ 16 posts ] 

Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

24 Aug 2012, 12:07 pm

I'm sure this is very rare to come across a person on the spectrum who makes a habit of getting all dressed up and goes out to a noisy bar with a group of other people of their peers, who are NTs. I've only got a mild case of AS but even I have fat chance of going out clubbing with a group of my NT peers. I only have two friends who are my age. but they aren't NTs and don't like clubbing either, and my other friends are older and aren't interested in getting dressed up and dancing at noisy bars any more.

But I know one girl who I'm sure was an Aspie at school, she had a lot of Aspie traits and was even stranger than I was. Each time we asked her to hang out with us she just said no, and preferred to pace about at the front of the school on her own. She also had some other ways about her that was odd compared to the norm, and she got extremely anxious about small things like her stomach rumbling in assembly and so avoided assembly because of it. She had other siblings and they seemed fine. But now as a young adult she's suddenly into clubbing and posts pictures up on Facebook of herself all glamoured up at a bar with a group of other girls and some boys who are all her age and (as far as I'm concerned) are NTs. Surely she can't have switched from being a very Aspie-like teenager to suddenly a party-animal NT as a young adult, because I was always Aspie when I was a child and I still am now, in fact I've become even more introverted as I've gotten a little bit older. So if she does have Aspie traits, then there must be one answer: not all Aspies have a tendancy to sit alone in their rooms on Friday nights and Saturday nights, there must be some people out there who are on the spectrum and also enjoy going out clubbing with their NT peers. So is there any Aspies here who do this most Fridays or Saturdays?


_________________
Female


PastFixations
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,735

24 Aug 2012, 12:13 pm

:shrug:
I don't but I also don't feel like I'm missing out on anything with that.


_________________
www.wrongplanet.net/postp5013377.html&h ... t=#5013377

Sora: "My friends are my power."

Ventus: "I'm asking you as a friend. Just... put an end to me."


lostgirl1986
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,418
Location: Ontario, Canada

24 Aug 2012, 12:18 pm

I will go to the bar occasionally. I used to go clubbing a lot when I was in college. You wouldn't catch me on the dance floor if I was sober but if I was drunk, I'd be doing what everybody else was doing and drinking and socializing. I had really close college friends back then though with whom I felt very comfortable around.



Venger
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Apr 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,519

24 Aug 2012, 12:18 pm

I don't understand why going to a bar/club is considered to be the stereotype of an NT activity. It's almost always one of the first things mentioned in discussions of things NTs typically do. :roll:

There's one fairly close to my house I go to by myself sometimes when there's live music especially metal. I don't see what the big deal is.



MisterSpock
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 549
Location: Manchester, UK

24 Aug 2012, 12:29 pm

I don't like clubbing, but I like my friends, that's why I go.

Also, girls are more susceptible to peer pressure I believe, so it is possible she is doing to fit in. I could talk a fair bit about the social-ness of clubbing, but I won't do that here (maybe on my blog some time soon).



UnLoser
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 655

24 Aug 2012, 12:56 pm

Clubbing = drunken dancing, right? Sorry, I'm not quite sure what adults do at clubs.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

24 Aug 2012, 12:57 pm

Venger wrote:
I don't understand why going to a bar/club is considered to be the stereotype of an NT activity. It's almost always one of the first things mentioned in discussions of things NTs typically do. :roll:

There's one fairly close to my house I go to by myself sometimes when there's live music especially metal. I don't see what the big deal is.


Well it just seems that way, since I have read in a lot of places about AS that it is common for people with AS to not like social events like bars, which makes sense. And I have friends who have other conditions other than AS who also don't go clubbing, maybe because lack of friends or lack of interest in doing it. I have 14 cousins, 11 of them are over 18, and they all seem to be into one thing, which is dressing up and going out, and also all my aunts and uncles and grandparents and parents all went out when they were young, but me, I'm the only Aspie in my family and I don't do all that. I'm not saying it's not a coincidence, but.....


_________________
Female


thewhitrbbit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 May 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,124

24 Aug 2012, 1:37 pm

I love going.



JoeRose
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 22 Dec 2011
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 185

24 Aug 2012, 1:41 pm

I go clubbing a lot. But only because my friends go. I'd say I go a lot less than my friends though because I don't really like it. I'm not a big fan of alcohol, loud rubbish music and arrogant drunk people trying to make small talk with me when I clearly don't want to entertain a conversation with them.

The only part of going out I do like is smoking and chatting to my mates in quiet areas. But they are some rare moments. I also like this one club because it plays all the music I like (which is a rare thing, as my music taste is very obscure/eclectic compared to what most people listen to). Music is also one of my special interests, so when I go to that club I actually have a good time.

But other than smoking and a decent tune I cannot stand going out.



Colinn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,192

24 Aug 2012, 2:49 pm

I could be wrong, but it sounds like you envy this person to an extent Joe90. Its certainly nothing to be envious about, there are plenty of ways to socialize without purposely slowing down your brain in a sweaty nightclub full of, for the most part shallow people. Its about the enjoyments you get personally from life, not what our moronic society thinks you should be doing to have a good time.

JoeRose wrote:
I'm not a big fan of alcohol, loud rubbish music and arrogant drunk people trying to make small talk with me when I clearly don't want to entertain a conversation with them..


More or less sums up why it doesn't interest me either. Not sure why someone would actually pay to get into these places. Couldn't pay me to go into one of those sweaty meat markets.



mljt
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 18 Aug 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 353

24 Aug 2012, 3:38 pm

I like going to pubs and being out with my friends most of the time, but I only like quiet places where I can easily follow conversations and be heard. I don't understand how/why people dance and I also look about 12 and like wearing shorts all the time, so clubbing really doesn't appeal!



hanyo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,302

24 Aug 2012, 4:41 pm

When I was around 19-21 I used to like to go to the bar with my one friend and get extremely drunk. It wasn't in "clubs" though, just crummy little neighborhood bars and if I would have been at a place with dancing I never would have done it no matter how drunk I was. I think part of the reason I got so drunk was because of my social anxiety. I used to get dressed up all sexy too. I don't mean stylish. I've never followed fashion and just wore what I liked. I think that was because after all the bullying in my youth for a while I found the male attention from that flattering and I was thinner then and thought I looked good that way.

Now I don't drink any more and have no interest in going to bars at all. I don't dress sexy any more either. No I mostly worry about how comfortable my clothes are.



LaPelirroja
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 108

24 Aug 2012, 4:46 pm

I've done it a couple of times. I think that everybody there appreciates being able to act how you want- to be able to touch each other without it being awkward. I do it for exercise.

It's not my favorite thing to do, though. At clubs, everybody tends to put on a show- working hard to present a version of themselves that their friends want to see, or society wants to see. I remember dancing once at a club- being in very close contact with scores of people. This was supposed to be sexy, but it didn't do much for me.

I sat down and took a break to read our local newspaper, set on an article I had been eyeing before. I remember feeling much more stimulated by the article than being around all of those people. :roll:



yellowtamarin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,763
Location: Australia

24 Aug 2012, 5:37 pm

I used to go clubbing a lot, pretty much every weekend and sometimes twice. But I hardly ever went to mainstream clubs, I went to alternative ones playing metal, punk, that sort of thing. So I didn't have to dress up, which I hated, I just had to wear the kind of clothes I felt comfortable in. Towards the end of my clubbing days I went out with more mainstream friends so I did have to dress up a bit, etc. It was never as much fun.



muslimmetalhead
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Jul 2011
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,420

24 Aug 2012, 6:22 pm

lol no "THAT s**t'S HARAM BRO"

But we all smoke weed at each other's houses haha


_________________
"I watched a change in you, It's like you never had wings, now you feel so alive"


Kjas
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,059
Location: the place I'm from doesn't exist anymore

25 Aug 2012, 5:45 am

I only go to a certain sub-set of clubs for one fo my two major interests - it's necessary to go there in order to do the interest and therefore I enjoy it. (In other words, my special interest makes people standable - but only in those circumstances)

Apart from that, I get dragged out there on important friends birthdays, like this weekend. And then I spend the rest of the weekend regretting it immensely.


_________________
Diagnostic Tools and Resources for Women with AS: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt211004.html