Places to go with people with good social skills?

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So recently, I have a goal of not being socially ret*d for a change. If people pick up social skills from others, I thought... oh, why not just observe people?

I went to a place that sold bubble tea and that I thought that place was fairly good, and I learned a bit. I think I may have more adventures in other places, I may even go to a bar. Anything I need to watch out for if I wanna waltz into a bar for the first time?

And putting aside bubble tea joints and bars, are there other places I ought to look out for if I wanna observe people?

NT people instinctively "pick up" social skills from others. Aspie people have only about 1/10th as many mirror neurons in their brains and so are "socially blind".

Helpful hint: you'll get more out of a book on the subject. My favorite is Temple Grandin's The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships.

Well... the 'helpful hint' remark sounded condescending, but what do I know?

I'll see what the book can do for me.

Hi
I took my aspie son to a funeral mass at a church. We didn't know the people but we sat in the back and observed. We discussed grief, appropriate clothing and most importantly hugging. We discussed how "greetings" hugs are shorter in duration and "grief" hugs are longer. We listened to people verbalize appropriate expressions of sorrow and loss.

Sometimes I took my teenager to parks and watched people to note styles of dress. I took a lot of photos of men who looked stylish and men who did not so he would have an idea of appropriate matches.

Good luck.
Roni

L4mia, Piwoman offers good advice, which I don't find condescending in any way. The analogy for our social deficits that I find fits best would be to imagine having to think about everything we do when we walk, such as putting our feet one in front of the other while maintaining balance, avoiding obstacles, while still navigating where we intend to wind up--and this is without anybody trying to knock us down, which is frequently the case in the social world. They physiology of our bipedalism is so complex we would collapse on the floor before we took our first step; walking is something that comes naturally or doesn't come to us at all.

Since people who can't walk have wheelchairs, we're left in something of a bind, since we have no choice but to have some dealings with others and have no similar device. Therefore, a written guide is your best bet.

Pi_Woman, my understanding of "Pi" is that it is an approximate solution that allows us to deal successfully with the world we live in, and it is highly irrational. I'm guessing the former characteristic fits you since I've noticed your responses deal well with the world we have to live in.

Heh... I probably should not have casually dropped that hyperbole of me being 'socially ret*d'... prob not an obvious hyperbole though so it could be my fault.

From experience, whether something comes off as condescending has more to do with the tone than it does with the advice itself. I've given art critiques, participated in online debates... I feel that I do have an idea of how not to come off as "I know better than you do". As far as I figured this out, it's mostly best to present the idea and avoid bringing up the other person you're talking to.

In many instances I hear the word 'hint', it's used in situations where a person is clearly asking for one. I've heard of a phrase of 'Learn to take a hint', which is used in times where somebody's being really stupid and not catching a social cue, e.g. not getting responses via email or similar messaging system = they don't want to bother with you. I have no idea if the connotation I picked up is unusual but it does kind of throw me off by a lot by how it's used here and not seen as slightly condescending.

Eh... I have no idea why I'm practically asking for social skills help when I'm explaining what I think I know. What a confusing world.

"Socially ret*d" is hardly a euphemism, and it is hardly elegant language, but it does convey an unwelcome truth about us. In a very real sense, we are socially ret*d.

I knew greeting hugs were short, but I don't know anything about grief hugs. What is it that keeps you from sticking out too much at the funeral though? Is it okay to waltz into a funeral of a person you don't know?

No idea if you thought of this, but one thing I looked out for while I was at the bubble tea place was pay extra attention to people who brought a date with them. If guys who know how to dress are more likely to get a date, they're probably good examples if you don't know what else to look for.