Other Aspies as Friends?

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Have you ever had a friendship/relationship with someone who is also an Aspie? I don't have any friends currently, and I have never had another Aspie as a friend before (in fact I don't think I've ever met another Aspie before, besides possibly my father). I am starting to think that the only friends I may be able to have in the future are fellow Aspies, as my friendships with NTs just aren't fulfilling for me (or them). We just think too differently, and have different understandings of what friendship is. But maybe I am wrong, and Aspie friendships would actually be worse since we would be too similar. For instance, I suspect that my dad is also Aspie, and I don't get along with him because we both want things done our own way.

Thoughts?

There's always the individual factor, but I strongly prefer friendships with NTs and only have one Aspie friend. I think we do understand each other's strangeness in a world that works very differently, but many I've met were hurtful and inconsiderate. I blamed myself when I was younger ("Not even they want me!" or "Even they make fun of me!"), but now I simply wouldn't want them for my friends.

The last time I had any friends that I saw on a regular basis was before I was diagnosed or even knew what AS was, however I strongly suspect that the handful of people I was closest to years ago all were either on the Autism Spectrum (PDD-NOS) or had some other slight neurological dysfunction. We were all fringe characters, who did not ever really fit in with normal society - a Fraternity of Geeks - and we all shared an obsession with collecting recorded music, most of us pursued careers in the music or broadcasting industries.

There were a couple of people I worked with in that industry whom I'm virtually certain had/have diagnosable Asperger Syndrome, they displayed so many obvious AS traits. One I still hear from by email regularly, but he's on Disability now for a physical ailment and the other committed suicide a couple of years ago, while I was trying to track him down and tell him about my suspicions of his condition and and my own diagnosis.

I've never knowingly met another aspie. That said, I would love to meet one, just to see if a friendship would work out better or worse. On the plus side, you would both understand each other better. But on the negative, placing two people with terribad social skills in the same room doesn't sound like a recipe for success.

I've noticed a lot of this in my life, not all of them are aspies but still in the spectrum.
I knew someone called Ben who I clicked with really well in kindergarten, we're still really close friends today, I found out he had ADHD
Another friend I made in the beginning of year 7 had Aspergers and we had no idea the other had it when we met, then I met one of his friends, he also had Aspergers
Even the people I talk with a lot online had Aspergers/ADHD too!

I met the first aspie I could consider a friend, in my 5th decade of living. I know I have met aspies before this point but almost none of them were anybody I could stand being around.

I have met other aspies in group meetings. We had discussions, and it was good. However, I did not consider them my friends. I just thought of them as people I knew and had things in common with. Also, I can't tell if I would have better friendships with aspies than NTs. I have had NT friends, who I used to see more. They are just friendships, and friendships are good.

I've never met another aspie IRL as far as I know.
I've had aspie online friends, and one LDR with one. I don't feel that being aspies make us understand each other better. The relationship in particular was very demanding and rocky. He had no understanding at all for my inability to come up with stuff to say a lot of the time. I told him how that is for me and he wouldn't listen, but the moment he saw it for himself he took it to mean that I didn't like him and wasn't ready for a relationship and he accused me of being able to if I wanted to, which isn't true at all; when I have nothing to say I really can't come up with anything, it's one of my main problems in interactions.
On the other hand I once had an NT online friend who also didn't know what to say at times and he was refreshingly easy to chat with, because he understood and was very laid back.

It's definitely more down to individual than neurology.


How would you describe the different understandings of what friendship is?
I find it hard to define at all, since every relation you have with someone is unique, but I'd say that emotional closeness (caring about each other), respect, being able to relate and connect, being comfortable with each other, having fun and being serious with each other, and trust, will always be part of friendship.

i tend to avoid aspies as friends because i'm moving in the direction of being less socially awkward. but there are some aspies who are totally awesome and well worth it.

I agree that all of these things make a good friendship. However, that ability to relate and connect is the one that seems to be missing for me. Maybe it's because I've always been surrounded by people who don't understand, who either ignore me, are irritated by me, or hurt me because of my different way of experiencing the world, that I really desire to have someone in my life that can understand me. Even the NTs who really and truly care about me, like my family, I still feel disconnected from because they cannot relate or understand. I can have fun times with them, but that emotional closeness does not really exist. Also, on a more practical level, most people are just very social and want to go out and do social things, and don't understand when I don't want to.

Since getting my DX, I found that one of my pen-pals had also gotten hers around the same time. I'm sure some of my other old friends were also on the spectrum. There was even a guy who seemed to be having a completely ordinary life except for being on a listserv for an obscure tech subject who I sent an aspie test to. He was amazed.

I've never been friends with another aspie before.

I had a boyfriend with Asperger´s. It was very intimate and revealing to me. I got to know a lot about myself through him.
There´s also this autistic feeling that I can´t explain that I think we shared. It´s so fragile and honest and warm and feels wonderful if it can just be but then (most often) comes the outside world and it´s not accepted and it gets turned into mental blocks and an absurd theater of personhood. This we could share because we´re both autistic.
I don´t know if I could share it with every autistic though. I guess I´m trying to in writing this. I think it has to do with honesty.
I must confess that these words has little or nothing to do with it, though.

^^^
a special sort of autistic intimacy? what a thought

yes

Boys are sassy enough for me, so I don't think I can be a friend with an aspie.