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Unsure if friend suicidal, should I be concerned?

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Ganondox
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03 Dec 2013, 12:26 pm

A friend recently told me she "really wants to die" in a facebook chat. Here is a more complete snippet of the conversation:

Quote:

Her:And that song was beautiful
Btw
His voice is mesmerizing

Me:Tarbys?

Her:Yes

Me:The subject of the song is significant;y more disturbing, hahaAnyway, he wants more girls to like his facebook page

Her:HAHHA okay
If i count
I will like

Me:Here you go https://www.facebook.com/TarbyRocks?ref=streamI believe you count, as long as you gender is listed as female in facebook's statistics

Her:Ahkay

Me:BOOM, 2 down!Maybe if I get enough I'll get a free album

Her:HAHAHHA
Selfish child

Me:haha
jk
So you like Revocation, what do you think fo this? http://www.metalsucks.net/2013/12/02/ex ... -ignition/
Exclusive Premiere: Artificial Brain, “Absorbing Black Ignition”
www.metalsucks.net
Didn't listen to it with full sound

Her:I will listen to it tomorrow becos having an existential crisis right now
Sorry
haha
Me:What
What's wrong?

Her:Idk, everything
I just really, really, really want to die
AND FOR NO REASON
HOW WEAK
I DONT EVEN HAVE AN EXPLANATION

Me:I'm concerned
Sorry, don't know how to help
Think I might understand how feel
Maybe just distract yourself, sleep on it, and see how you feel tomorrow?

Her:No one can help haha
It'll probably just pass
As it always does
yeah
For a couple hours
How do people do it
Live, i mean
Contently

Me:They find meaning
I guess
Like this? Maybe?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0IVA_qAQSA
Devin Townsend - Storm (with lyrics)
www.youtube.com
I dunno

Her:I think
I should stop being so negative around people because
It seems to freak them out

Me:No
Of course I don't want to hear this
But I don't think it's healthy to just keep it to yourself
Well
It's complicated
I can take it

Her:It's fine haha
I'll figure it out
No point in wasting others' time
Me:It's only wasted if you see it that way
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjB_oVeq8Lo#t=43
GoPro: Fireman Saves Kitten
www.youtube.com

Her:And the tears fall faster

Me:Is that bad?

Her:No idea

Me:Oh well
Guess that's what emotional intelligence is about

Her:Not my forte, evidently

Me:haha
It's okay
I'm not only good with it either

Her:Yeah

Me:I know this sounds really cliche and is probably completely unhelpful, but it'll be okay

Her:hAHHAA
You're right

Me:About it bieng cliche and completely unhelpful?

Her:About it sounding really cliche and completely unhelpful
Yeah
haha
But I appreciate the effort
You don't have to
Try
And
Help (?)
Me

Me:But I want to
Well, on another note, I'm trying to get some information from my brother about Syria, but I don't think he has woken up yet

Her:Oh, thanks haha



First, did I completely screw up with the attempt at consoling? :P Second, do you think this is serious, or just normal for her? Of course you don't know her, but I'll try to explain. She has some sort of depression. She can confided with me things like this before, taking about how she wants to die to find peace, but she doesn't want to commit suicide as it takes effort and I shouldn't worry about her killing herself. She has also expressed misanthropic and nihilistic views, though she acts morally. She's NT, though she has more than some autistic traits and is very much ISTJ. As far as I can tell her social life appears to be healthy and she shown any changes in behavior or demonstrated any other drastic warning signs of suicide, just expressing the desire to die, or more of not be alive, and a slight obsession with death that as far as I know she's always had, she's a big metalhead. She has self-harmed in the past, but I'm not sure if she still does. That's all I can think of right now. Any advice on how to proceed?


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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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03 Dec 2013, 1:13 pm

I think you've done pretty well. You are responding. That's the first thing. If she wants to talk, you are available to talk.

Now, I think what can make depression so tricky and such a trap is that it's a swirl of both the biochem and the philosophic. I myself have not tried antidepressants, but they are kind of my ace in the hole for future bouts.

The winning side is that it might give me energy to light-touch a variety of positive activities. And the first antidepressant doesn't necessarily work, just that each person's biochem is a little different, so it's trial and error in a respectful sense. Plus, it's often important to phase down from the medication in a series of steps, even if it doesn't seem to be working.

And maybe ask her to help you? Tell her you are going to make up your own mind, but you'd like to run something past her and see what she thinks. Now, only do this if you're sincere. But really, with her as an NT and you on the Spectrum, there really might be things she can help you with.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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03 Dec 2013, 7:09 pm

To me, psychologists and other mental health professionals are complicators and pontificators. I have not found them helpful. In fairness, other people have.

Now, a regular doctor like an internist can prescribe Zoloft or Cymbalta as well a psychiatrist. It might help her to know that she has a choice.



Ganondox
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03 Dec 2013, 7:43 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:
I think you've done pretty well. You are responding. That's the first thing. If she wants to talk, you are available to talk.

Now, I think what can make depression so tricky and such a trap is that it's a swirl of both the biochem and the philosophic. I myself have not tried antidepressants, but they are kind of my ace in the hole for future bouts.

The winning side is that it might give me energy to light-touch a variety of positive activities. And the first antidepressant doesn't necessarily work, just that each person's biochem is a little different, so it's trial and error in a respectful sense. Plus, it's often important to phase down from the medication in a series of steps, even if it doesn't seem to be working.

And maybe ask her to help you? Tell her you are going to make up your own mind, but you'd like to run something past her and see what she thinks. Now, only do this if you're sincere. But really, with her as an NT and you on the Spectrum, there really might be things she can help you with.


I forgot to mention this, but she has said some things about medication. She doesn't take any now, but I think she has taken them in the past because she said they don't make you happy, just numb, which is no better. Anyway, she says she doesn't take any medication or doesn't want to take any medication because she doesn't want to be reminded that there is anything wrong with her daily.

Oh, I have asked her for help on numerous occasions for various things. She isn't by any means super NT and thus no social genius, but that makes her more relatable and while I can't say her advice is necessarily the best it helps.


_________________
Cinnamon and sugary
Softly Spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through other people's eyes

Autism FAQs http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt186115.html