The difference between online and 'real life'?

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My life is clearly delineated: the outside world is a trainwreck, with the average 'friendship' in my life lasting a week (and it's not only those that don't work; colleges, communal places I lived in, other establishments... nothing remains, as if venom seeps through every time)... whereas my online life has generally been better, although individual relationships sometimes fall through too, although that's usually due to inertia... but other than that, if I was as successful IRL as I was online (with regards to online communities, say) I'd be... um, well, since I happened to participate in some politics I'd probably have 'power' IRL too, although how that translates is uncertain (besides the fact RL politics are done totally differently... it's not like I had to canvass or speak publicly, since this is, after all, online).

It's funny how it's all lopsided. While I'm being kicked out from local places and rejected by everyone IRL, online I'm elected (by nearly 100 people) to administrate one of the biggest websites...

Do you have any idea why that is?

I know what you mean, Mootoo. 7 years ago, when I first registered on a comic book message board, I felt that I was more alive/important on that online community than I was offline. IRL I had no friends, no job, no school, I usually felt somewhat depressed, and had a negative outlook. Going online was a way for me to escape from that, and to do things that I felt were important: even if it's something as banal as helping other people out with information on comic books and other geek-related subjects. We did talk about other things on the forum that were a bit more substantial than comic books.

On my 2008 birthday, there were 3 people IRL who wished me a happy birthday. Online, there were 15. I pointed out the askewness of this in a tongue-in-cheek post.

At this point, 7 years and a lot of life experiences later, I feel a bit better about my offline life and activities, and honestly, while I still have a lot of fun on my online communities, I realize that they can be just as fickle as real life communities, if not more because there are many people who don't take responsibility for what they say online, a lot of people will drift in and out of any given online community, meaning that you'll never know if you'll be talking to an online confidant for the very last time in your life, and honestly, I find that online conversation lacks a certain something that offline interaction has.

I think an important factor in feeling better about myself IRL, is that I now try to find the good balance between doing things that are not so fun but need to be done anyway, and pursuing my interests and hobbies. I've recently joined a book club, re-joined a field biology club, I frequently visit music concerts and cinemas, and I draw, read, and learn new languages. I try to keep myself in motion both offline and online, and I try to view online activities as something that's integrated into my 'real life', because for all intents and purposes, it is. The computer and the internet are no more than tools in your hands, as much as a hammer, a pair of scissors, a car, or a television. Use it, don't let it use you.

Well, I've never had your online success Mootoo, but isn't that the same for all aspies? We do much better online than IRL.
Online is really the only pace it works for me at all, outside of my family. Online is the only place I've ever been close to anyone (not including my family), and the way I can go on when I want and stay away when I want and take the time I need is perfect for me. The net FTW!

I do better online too, but even online, at whatever site I am in at the time, I am usually only able to be close to one person at a time. I cannot spread attention around. I get attached to people too easily and get hurt too easily. There is one place online that I have been active for over 8 years continuously and even there it has only been one at a time. I am active in FB but it is just an information and community resource. I don't interact directly with human beings there. The topics that interest me, it is pointless to join a website devoted to those topics for the purpose of socializing with like minded people. I don't like to discuss my interests. I just like to read about them or participate in them directly as an individual and hope others will respect my wish for solitary involvement.

I find it easier to interact online. More time to think of what I "say" before I say it.

Of course, I've had unneeded high drama as well.

Still, it's good to meet some people I've met online and realize they aren't anything like the person they come across like online.

I think part of it is almost everyone can be anxious around people they don't know and at making new friends due to things like the way they talk,there appearance etc and on the internet nobody knows any of those things (unless you Skype or do some form of voice chat) and even by then chances are you are already good friends and that anxiety has passed, that's my theory on it

I also find it easier to interact online, no idea if I'm necessarily any better at it, but I find it more comfortable. No need for instant communication, no having to read other people's body language (or fail for that matter), no need to explain myself or my situation to anyone, no need to constantly nurture friendships where you're not sure if the other person even cares, etc. Add in that anybody I communicate with has at least one common interest, since well, we met at some site/game/whatever that we're both obviously interested in and it makes it a lot easier. I think a large part of it is comfort, not necessarily being "better" but when you eliminate a lot of the communication areas that autistics are weak at it makes it a lot easier to "be yourself."

Not sure but I never talk to people online really- I don't have any online friends or people I constantly talk to online also I'm not really social in real life, all close friends I have are from real life.

I feel a bit similar; in real life no one notices me, but when I'm online in some forums, I'm Queen and, dare I say it, popular! One of my special interests is the MBTI, and I've logged hundreds of hour on a site called Personality Cafe talking about it. I'm in my zone, in other words, and I'm respected for having the knowledge and ideas that I do. I am much more fluid online; much better at organizing and articulating my thoughts, whereas in real life I simply freeze and cannot do anything to connect with people in the way I want to. And most conversation in real life is so trivial, too: the other day I was sitting in a group of coworkers and all they could talk about were hairstyles. Geez.

I have this problem too.

Facebook vs the reality. Yes I have outside social life. But making friends from both Facebook and outside world is as hard as. Because I don't add or befriends with randoms on Facebook. I connect with people who I have met in reality before adding them on Facebook.

However, the problem is not us. The online world dominated by high school-like jocks and popularity contests. Number of how many friends, likes and comments on Facebook is a challenge. I find that learning socially in reality is better than online. It is the world before internet came. People are becoming too attached to technology and turn into antisocials. No offense to you all regarding to this addiction. But I am trying to say is, what is causing a social comflicts between us aspies and NTs in reality. Back in 1980s, without internet life, people are always outside hang out and chill. This find of vibe is more accepting when approach someone who is unique and different.

I find this amazing that when the internet started, there were so many awareness brought up because the world is becoming too attached to technology and make people to forget the important things. In my view, I find technology is a way to cause social skills impacts. To be very honest here, NTs have serious social skills issues. Way more than us aspies. Its due to their negative attitudes, close mindness and stuck up behaviour. Alcohol, drugs and unnecessary violence is one of symptoms from the majority.

I have changed my life more recently is to be out there more than living with your computer. Living in a city have huge advantage to me because the social life out there is incredibly active. But please be aware that you will meet more antisocial people out there than on the internet because these atypical NTs may have been influenced by technology development. The rewiring of their brains!

I don't feel that IRL and online have the same presence, for instance I don't share my personal information such as name, age, address like many real die-hard online friends do (even some of them know each other IRL already). Furthermore I don't get that much popularity either which is the same as can be said in reality but I don't like to stand out from everyone else however I feel like i'm the centre of attention because I genuinely think some part of me isn't human or i'm not doing something everyone else is doing like walking normally, use of body language, showing empathy. In the virtual world, the only thing I have to worry about is the communication that goes across to the other side or whoevers listening and almost all the time I get criticised by what I say because NT's keep expecting a different outcome, so for me it doesn't matter what I am saying either in real life or online but at least I don't have the regret of saying wrong things online when i'm not in a physical presence with whom I am speaking.

I think the big disadvantage of communicating over the computer would be increasing your communication skills if yours are currently lacking since at least 80% of my day would be typing and the other either talking or complete silence. So I don't know if not using your voice is damaging the vocal cords or ability to speak as I stammer alot but only when I haven't thought through what I am going to say next.