How many of you deal with situations like this?

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Summer_Twilight
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22 Aug 2014, 7:19 pm

Hi:

How many of you meet people who don't seem interested in you otherwise and either seem to ignore you or have superficial conversations? Then when they appear to be interested out of the blue and make plans with you that they do not mean only to back out with an excuse.

That happened with me this week where two girls who are really close friends and roommates and do everything together. Most of the time they ignore me or act polite. They suddenly came up to me and invited me over to their house on Fri. I had never heard from either of them again until today via forwarded text.

"I decided to fly home for the weekend. We will do this next weekend. I love you." I texted back and said that I had other plans which I do anyway. I never as much as got a response.

How do you tackle situations like this without being mean and nasty?



LookTwice
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23 Aug 2014, 12:20 am

Sounds like you assume it was an excuse - is it possible they actually will do this next week and you're still invited? If they're usually polite but tend to ignore you, it's possible they aren't sure whether you want to be part of what they're doing. Maybe you send out "leave me alone" signals?
I don't know you at all, so these are just ideas.

I think I'd probably approach this directly and tell one of them you don't understand why they first invite you and then reconsider; for example, when they invite you again, you could say something like this: "I'd love to come, but I'm not sure you actually want me there since last time I got the impression you only invited me to be polite" (if that reflects the situation for you).


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Summer_Twilight
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23 Aug 2014, 8:52 am

I did tell her that I would not be able to do next weekend since I will be going to a convention next weekend which is the truth on my part. I then texted her and said that she have a safe trip.

I just have had so many times where people say things to me that they do not mean that I don't know when someone is sincere or not.