Platonic relationships and the opposite sex

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whatamievendoing
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15 Jun 2018, 10:41 am

Apologies in advance if this post seems unfocused and incoherent - I'm basically writing down my thoughts as they come to my mind.

I hope this doesn't sound weird in any way, but I used to have the mentality that the opposite sex exists only to serve as a pool of potential partners. Which isn't true in the least, as I've found out. In fact, most of my relationships with the opposite sex have been strictly platonic - with the exception of one, but even that got stuck in a limbo of sorts between platonic and romantic.

Anyway, the main point I want to focus on here is the sexual aspect, or lack thereof. Obviously it's one of the main factors to consider when it comes to platonic relationships between members of the opposite sex. And I like to think that the sooner it's established that there's no sexual attraction between the individuals, the more beneficial it will be to both parties in the long run.

In the case of the latest woman I've befriended, she was quick to bring to my attention that she was taken - pretty much as soon as we met, in fact. It should go without saying that neither of us thought anything in particular about one another at that point. Some time and a series of events (the details whereof I'll spare) later, we became friends. But my point is that the sexual aspect was always non-existent.

However, we did once have a discussion regarding its possible existence. Without going into excessive detail about it, that discussion only further established the platonic connection we already had. And it's unlikely to ever go beyond that.

As for the women that were single at the time I met them, they mostly ended up in relationships with other dudes.

I don't mean to say that I'm unsatisfied with the few platonic relationships I have with women. If anything, I'm perfectly content with having a few women as friends at least. Still, I do occasionally wonder why I've been unsuccessful in going beyond that.

Any and all thoughts are welcome.


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NorwichGeorge
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16 Jun 2018, 1:34 am

I've always got on better with girls than guys and have had some really rewarding platonic relationships. I think I've found it easier to get on with girls because I was brought up with a dad who had a very traditional view of what a boy should be so I always felt like I had to act like that around other boys but I'm quite far away from that traditional ideal (although I do watch football and drink beer) but I felt like I could be myself around girls much more easily. It's certainly possible to have rewarding, opposite sex platonic relationships.



whatamievendoing
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16 Jun 2018, 5:46 am

NorwichGeorge wrote:
I've always got on better with girls than guys and have had some really rewarding platonic relationships. I think I've found it easier to get on with girls because I was brought up with a dad who had a very traditional view of what a boy should be so I always felt like I had to act like that around other boys but I'm quite far away from that traditional ideal (although I do watch football and drink beer) but I felt like I could be myself around girls much more easily. It's certainly possible to have rewarding, opposite sex platonic relationships.


I know what you mean. My father is the opposite of what you described your father as in the sense that he's not the stereotypical male, and he didn't raise me with the whole "big boys don't cry" mentality. If anything, he and my mother taught me that real men aren't afraid to show their emotions.

I'm not sure if I'd go as far as to say I get along better with women than other men, but I have noticed that I often feel more comfortable in female company as opposed to male company, interestingly enough. I guess it has to do with what's considered by our culture to be the masculine way of bonding, which is largely the opposite of how I tend to bond with people. And for what it's worth, the friendship I have with that female colleague I mentioned is one of the most fulfilling relationships I've ever had, even if there's no romance involved. Having been single my whole life, I've grown to appreciate the few platonic relationships I have with the opposite sex, especially her.


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“They laugh at me because I'm different; I laugh at them because they're all the same.”
― Kurt Cobain