Is this a sign of losing interest in a friend?
Hi:
I wanted to know you general thoughts about this type of scenario and I will use fake names.
Let's say that Jack and Jill have been friends for a long time. Jill finds out through her friends on facebook that Jack sent out an invite for all his friends on facebook to a party. Meanwhile Jill isn't friends will him on there but they call or text each other. Yet Jack hasn't called her or anything about the event. So Jill attempts to contact Jack via text to see whether she was invited or not but Jack never responds.
She texts her friend Peter Pumkin Eater who is invited and explains what is going on and is confused. So Peter contacts Jack who tells Peter for Jill that she is welcome to come but never has the courtesy to contact Jill herself.
Jack doesn't once call or text Jill about the event and after a few months once again tells Peter to invite Jill for him.
Would you say that he has lost his interest? If not then what does this mean?
sounds like he's not comfortable out inviting her himself, for whatever reason. he's ok with her coming but he doesn't want to take the initiative to invite her, fear of her saying "no", maybe. or it could be something he knows she won't be too crazy about. if he has invited her himself to parties/outings in the past then yeah, you could say he's losing interest. hard for me to tell with that single instance.
i've been invited to parties in the last and then never gotten a response when i asked about it on the day it was supposed to happen.
_________________
הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.
"Asking if he's still interested in maintaining a casual relationship"? I'm confused. Have these two people had some romantic or intimate relationship in the past? If they were only casual friends to begin with, I wouldn't read so much into the situation. Seems if their friendship were a close one, they'd have been on each other's FB lists to begin with. If it was essentially just an acquaintanceship all along (in his thinking), he may have no idea that's a big deal to Jill.
We Aspergians are left to dissect NT social behaviors intellectually, since we don't have the social skills to intuitively recognize what's going on, and when we can't make logical sense of things, can have a tendency to get paranoid and assume the worst. Sometimes we look for meaning and motivation in situations where there really isn't any. It could be that Jack is just being unintentionally thoughtless. Or distracted. Or who knows?
In any case, I wouldn't crash any social event I wasn't directly invited to, its considered bad form to "invite oneself" and could turn out very awkwardly, if there is some intentional reason why he has excluded Jill.
_________________
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel - but I am, so that's how it comes out." - Bill Hicks
This person Jack is definitely lazy and not interested enough to invite Jill or speak with her himself. He's inviting Jill only as an afterthought and only because she spoke up to ask about it. He sees Jill as a very casual acquaintance and isn't really interested in staying in touch with her more than that. Jill might have better luck becoming friends with Peter Pumpkin Eater.
Jill would have no romatic interest in Jack and vise versa.
The scenario goes deeper. A major problem with this situation is that Jack has a filthy mouth and also has given Jill several hints that they try sex. Even though she says no and would not feel comfortable with being touched because she is on the spectrum. Yet he keeps being persistent about being able to at least do this or that by asking inappropriate questions.
I think Jack didn't want to invite Jill and didn't think she would know about the party. When Peter pumpkin eater stepped in Jack was 'backed into a corner' in that he didn't want to appear to be rude, especially because there was a third party (Peter) witnessing the exchange. So he made the concession that Jill was allowed to come. If he had really wanted Jill to come he would have invited Jill. If he it had been a genuine mistake, once he realised the mistake he would have made contact with Jill and apologised and invited Jill personally.
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