Bad Friends??

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Hello,

I know its been awhile since I last posted on here but I plan on posting regularly again,

Anyways, I need major advice.

I have always had friendship problems. Ever since I can remember. I've also always been desperate for friends to. So here is what has happened...I had this fairly good friend in middle school (I'm in 11th grade now), (Due to privacy, I will be putting generic names in) Julia, we were great friends for awhile until, suddenly, we lost contact. I tried multiple times to reach out to her but never heard back. So, I gave up.

That is until recently. Her sister messaged me on Facebook a "Send this to 5 people" thing, but it was nothing bad, it was a spread kindness type of letter. She responded and we began talking regularly again.

Long story short, we hung out again to. I then discovered she had a love for my favorite band to. So I told her how I was going to this concert of theirs this summer. And sure enough she was going to one to but it was much farther away.
Eventually she decided to go to mine and we decided to drive up there and stay in a hotel with my mom. We then decided to try and get meet and greet tickets (Until I discovered there was none) and then I decided to get sound check tickets instead.

Sure enough I decided to raise the money for both of us and started selling stuff for it. Finally, I had the money as tickets were cheaper than excepted and we called up Ticketmaster to see if there were any left. There was only one, so we snagged it.

I waited a couple of days, trying my best to come up with a nice, friendly, way of telling her. And I texted her yesterday, deciding to wait until she brought it up and sure enough she did. I explained to her the situation and she didn't respond for awhile. She did eventually, asked for my mom's cell because her mom wanted it so i gave it to them and her mom called up mine and basically chewed her out and said "You're kicking her to the curb" etc etc.

So, they sold her ticket and bought the one my mom decided to sell at first, she didn't want to go anymore but then she suddenly decided to go with her mom. We again offered to drive her up there but her mom and her said no.

Bare in mind, I asked her how long she had been a fan she said a month and I offered to take her to my show of the same band last year but she told me no.

I then began to realize what type of things she did and how she had treated me. I asked her just this past summer shortly after school let out if she wanted to see me she then told me "I'm busy all summer". Not only this but her mom accused me of stealing from them, I had gotten a henna tattoo and they had given it to me but lost one and she blamed it on me. She begged me to add her into a group chat so I added her and the group began ignoring me. She made me feel pressured so I changed myself for her basically. She always complained my room was dirty no matter how much we cleaned it up. And she wanted to take charge of remodeling my bedroom (something I've wanted to do for awhile).

Now, I know sher has a right to be upset and dissapointed but I just wanted her to understand that I simply can't afford to buy her a 200 dollar ticket. I can't afford to buy her everything.

She also wanted me to go to public school thinking I could "handle it" and I just needed to "try harder than most kids" when I got bullied for years at public school and was getting so stressed to the point I barely went and had to stop going to class after an incident.

This isn't the only friend I have problems with, I also have another friend who wants me to buy her stuff I just simply can't afford. She got all upset when another friend of mine and I discussed having a sleepover and we had been planning on it for weeks and she didn't ask us about it. I would have invited her if I'd known she wanted to come. She also wants me to take her to my favorite store and asked if I'd basically buy her whatever she wants. She also asked if I could buy her a kindle fire and a record player.

Now this girl I get much better than Julia as she has disabilities like me and we got to a special school for kids with special needs.

I just want to get advice and see how I can make better friends, and what do you all think of this?

Thanks!

Try not to take it personally because a majority of people that are not capable of being friends. It's easy to think there is something wrong with you when there is something wrong with the people who hurt you. Your friend and her mother sound a lot like trouble makers and people who I used to associate with from years ago.

The best way to look at making friends would be to join a club or organization of your special interest. You might also go to a coffee shop or a book store because that is a great place to make friends.

Make sure you don't make friends who want you to buy them things.

Friendship is not about material things.

And when you buy them things, and they don't buy you things, you are made to look like a fool.

And you are a not a fool. Because you know the intentions of these people.

These people sound like bad friends.
Anyone who is pressuring you to do or buy something for them is not acting like a nice friend. Friends may ask for a *favor* when in NEED, but asking for gifts is just gauche. Instead, friends may offer or give something to their friend, but not because they were asked or pressured.


Your friend that wanted to tell you where to go to school and how to re-do your room sounds like a major control freak. Some control freaks can be nice people. But many just don't know when to stop, and she sounds like one of them. This could be just because she is still young and has not learned when to lay off of pushing people around and being so bossy. You have to know how much "control freak" you can manage. Some people like to have friends who are control freaks because they can let their friend be in charge. Other people do not like giving up control over so many choices. Sometimes control freaks invade a person's personal life by giving too much "advice."

Anyone who tells you where, when and how you should do things shows that they don't have any respect for you as a person. In fact they sound shallow.

I also have had one-sided friendships where they never really invited me to special events but just used me. It was not just my friends but their parents as well.

-One of them asked me to buy them things. Their family used my parents to buy them dinner along with some other things
-Another one had a family dump my friend off on a family member and I who I lived with for a while so they could go on a date. They also used us to take them down to Disney World. When it came to my friend's 30th birthday, their parents threw a surprise party for them but I was not invited. When I called them out at the end of the friendship I got an excuse that the party was too far away. This friend also had moderate to severe autism along with having parents who sheltered them and let them get away with what they wanted. This included being allowed to call me excessively to the point of harassment. They were also very clingy and controlling.

Last edited by Summer_Twilight on 16 Jan 2016, 8:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

Thank you guys! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who has had this type of situation.

Looking back on it, it seems at least 95% of my friends have not been genuine.

See? I learned that a lot of people are very self centered and selfish now a days.

It makes me sick.

Thankfully, I have had genuine friends, but they have been few and far-between in my 40 years, and they never lasted long, usually because one of us had to move away.

I've had plenty non-genuine "friends", too.

I was once friends with a very self-centred woman - if friend is the right term, which I'm sure it's not. She refused to acknowledge that I like to keep to my schedule and that I need to eat right on schedule. She also phoned the ambulance on me for being a die-hard Kinks Fan, which I still am. She told me not to phone her anymore several years ago and than she wanted to go out with Dean, Barb and I that same evening. I hope I never hear from her again. She also dresses like a tart most of the time.