When at our most lonely.

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This is something that occured to me just a few hours ago, and I couldn't pinpoint the exact reason of 'why not' so I want some more people in on this.

I'm not here to toot my own horn. There are entire days in which the loneliness and isolation I feel are damn near overwhelming. Keep in mind, my using the word overwhelming is not loose at all. Aspergians can relate to this I'm sure, some more than others of course.

So...... if my brain was shooting all these chemicals through me to cause these feelings of melancholy due to extreme loneliness/isolation, it suddenly begs the question: when it gets into severe territory, why does the brain not naturally fabricate elaborate hallucinations to help alleviate these feelings?

What I mean is along the lines of Fight Club or A Beautiful Mind. And I'm referring to those who don't have other disorders such as schizophrenia or the like (beforehand if you may).

It seems that if you have met enough people in your life, and have at least a subconscious grasp on how other humans work, then your brain would be able to mimic that and give you a temporary companion at least until the loneliness subsided enough to live normally.

Interesting thought. I know that I easily fall into story fantasies...not hallucinations, because I always know that they aren't real, simply my imagination...but making myself a charactor in my favorite stories amuses my brain, and makes me not quite so lonely...

Same here. I live in fantasyland more than in real life.

Yes, that's very astute. I do have a vivid imagination, which I use. Otherwise....oh no. I'm not psychotic, but I totally follow your logic as to how that mechanism could for one having delusions, for example. The brain does tend to fill-in-the-blank out of necessity for coherency. Makes sense! Interesting topic......

What can really mess up your head is when you realise that all of your perceptions are chemical reactions in your head. So you start to do and say things that you want, rather than what you think others want to hear.

No idea which category of person I fall into, whether NT or ASD, but I can give you my view of the world. I see all of the little social 'tics' that people have. The way people start conversations, the way people flirt, the way people send out unconscious signals to other people. But when I try and act those out, they always flow so much better in my head. I can show affection, but when the real world is so close by - ie in public - where people will be judging me by all of the crap they think we're supposed to do (the perfect movie kiss, the perfect words of affections from the books they've read), I have to try so terribly hard to shut out the world.

I feel like this: I do live in a fantasy world, where everybody reaspects everybody, people like to read, talk about what they learn, experience good, normal things like love etc. I absolutely NEVER considered anyone a bad person, for me there is no such thing as a bad person. I always just chose to believe that everybody has goodness, they just forgot how to enjoy it and use it, because they are caught up in anger and hate. Retreating in my fantasy world helps me to keep pure and kind. Of course I am not an angel...but how can you be all the time, when everywhere there are rude loud ugly people, trying to drag you into their world of misery.

And about the young people, that go to school, the school system was built to bring up idiots (that pay taxes without questioning etc.). Thank G-d a lot of kids escape that fate and they learn how to be smart on their own. But I can imagine how boring it is to be in school from 8:00am to 3:00pm, having to endure EXTREME boredom, specially the AS kids, that don't go to school to socialize, but strictly to learn/study. And the whole point of school seems (that's my opinion), to socialize!! ! How can somebody that condones bullying say that they can teach kids to be social people? I did have to deal with bullying with my daughter and the school officials are so weak on dealing with those issues, specially where I live, because it is a very rich neighborhood and they don't want to f... with the wrong people, that donate the most at the school auction? Or maybe they just don't give a rat's ass, they are used growing up with bullying and stuff, too. My heart goes out to kids with AS and even adults with AS, I was constantly the target of bullies at the hospital (hospital!! ! a professional place for healing of sick and injured people) where I worked. No matter what social skills you have, if you are an intelligent person, your mind will never be capable to go down to those animal's level, to try to figure why are they doing it, what are they trying to accomplish etc.

So my fantasy world helps me be as good and gentle as I can be, it helps me recharge the batteries for dealing with the "real" world, which has scores of people that just live confused, hurting others, with no apparent reson. I know I sound negative, but be honest with yourselves, that's the reality.

OH I can definitly relate to this!

I've mentioned before on this site that I love to write, mostly fantasy or just plain fiction. I enjoy creating characters and writing their stories. Without thinking I always make sure my characters have some companion. The one character I intentionally created to have Aspergers makes her best friend in the new story I started writing, so it really does help to alleviate the lonliness somewhat. I always told myself, "If I can't have a normal life, at least they can."

During the worst times I actually talk to my characters, but it's never gotten so that I thought they were real. I know they're my characters, it's just that I choose to ignore that fact for a few minutes.

I think my brain did create a person to be my friend. I can't remember when it started, it could have always been there, i don't know. But I have a kind of imaginary freind. But not really the kind you have as a kid, that you grow out of. it's hard to explain. It's not visual, it doesn't have an appearence. It doesn't have a name. I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl.
I talk to this person all the time. And it always understands. Sometimes it answers. but it's not really hearing voices. it's just, like, comforting. ok, i really don't know how to explain this. Basically, i always feel the presence of a person. You know, when you know someone's in the room even though you can't see or hear them? You can just feel it? I feel that constantly. But it's not threatening, it's comforting.
It's could be completely unrelated, but sometimes words of encouragement and reassurance pop into my head when i'm particularly down. i don't consciencely think it - i'm the most pessemistic person i've ever met! so i really don't know what it is.
I think my brain just created someone who i could talk to and who would understand, but on a deeper level than an imaginary friend, during my self-imposed silence as a kid. And i'm reluctant to let it go. one reason i don't want help or treatment is because i'm afriad, no, terrified, that it would make it go away. i think if i was to lose this person in my head, i would feel as basd as if my best friend had died.
but i think i'm starting to ramble, so i'll shut up

I live in a fantasy world all the time, it's parallel to the real world. I imagine I am in the fantasy world all the time, when I walk, when I study, when I cook. It's not radically different from the real world, it's just better. Things there are the way I want them to be. When I try to make myself stop, I get incredibly depressed by how bad things are for me in the real world, and then I retreat to fantasy world again.

My brain helps me escape the nightmare of utter loneliness by making me so tierd, I have to go to sleep.
Lots of nice sexy people in sleep to keep me company!

Like the others, I can very much relate to this. All this talk about fantasy worlds actually reminds me of the movie Pan's Labyrinth. Anyone who has seen it will know what I am talking about.

I've never created new people in my head but I've always pretended I have friends. I recall one time when i was pretty young imagining that I had this boy from school over for tea. It was so vivid in my mind that the next day I almost spoke to him about our time together.
Nowadays, it tends to be people from TV, musicians and the like. Recently I've been feeling rather down and lonely and all of a sudden I've started fantasising more. I like to put loud music on my headphones, play something like freecell or solitaire where I don't have to think, and I have whole weeks of fun with people I've never met. If people try to stop me, I get pretty angry and agitated.

I often think to myself: "G-d, just give me some enemies, they might be better than the friends I have..." and I laugh...this "friends" thing is overrated, really. If you can be good friends with yourself, that's a good start and sometimes enough. All you see on TV is social animals, "perfect" people etc. I think that those absurd, unreal things that we see are getting to us and making us feel innapropriate. I am not perfect, I don't have a lot of good friends, I wouldn't be a social animal if I would have a lot of friends (it seems like you would have to be a social animal to entertain your friendships...) etc.
Don't be depressed, I mean don't let it get too you too deep. It is normal to have times of depression, it is actually sometimes just turning inwards, to reconcile with yourself. It will pass, it passes for me every time.
One bad thing that I do when I drive, to be able to deal with sensory overload, I put my radio too loud, it helps, but I noticed that I lost a lot of my hearing...kind of scary. I have to buy a very expensive stethoscope soon, I am not hearing good thru a normal one for my job. It scares me a little. Be careful with listening too loud in your stereos.
You are going to be OK, I am saying a prayer for you.
Love, Elena.