Page 1 of 3 [ 33 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

Mienai
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 28
Location: UK

18 Apr 2009, 4:44 pm

I can't listen to a conversation or go on a website without hearing that word. I do have a minimal page set up, but it has no activity going on, it is just the bare page you get for signing up.

I think I haven't done anything with it because... I'm afraid of it. Why?

-people looking at what you're doing in your life (or not doing)
-I don't really have any friends (that I would use that word anyway... a few acquaintances). WhilstI 'd love to have some friends, showing up on facebook with none is a pretty good sign of being a loser, just like in real life, right? Like how you point out you are looking for friends and get bumped out because you don't have any so a clearly a failure.
-I don't really do anything with my life. If I'm not at work I'm either doing my exercise/fitness work, playing on XboxLive or just contemplating nothing, watching my life waste away.
-I don't really like the past, and want no attachment to it, practical or not. I do not want to be 'found' by people I once knew, nor do I want them seeing my (no) friends quota or what I am doing in life.
-I hate myself physically and utterly detest photos... I hear those are pretty mandatory.

Are my fears justified? All I want is to meet new people who like the (few, shallow) things I do, who can show me new things, or just make my life a little bit worthwhile. Can facebook do that?

Help me please, I'm running out of ways to save my life. < /melodrama>



Ligea_Seroua
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2009
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 555

18 Apr 2009, 6:03 pm

Oh Facebook, yes, it seems to be obligatory, and yet so many things about it are annoying. I'm no social behaviour guru, but one by one...

Mienai wrote:
-people looking at what you're doing in your life (or not doing).


True. If you don't have much going on, it does seem a problem. BUT, the plus point, you can have a good passive aggressive rant via status updates. You can also alter the privacy settings

Mienai wrote:
-I don't really have any friends (that I would use that word anyway... a few acquaintances). WhilstI 'd love to have some friends, showing up on facebook with none is a pretty good sign of being a loser, just like in real life, right?).


Nope. I have realised that the facebook definition of friends often has nothing to do with the genuine meaning of friendship (it's only taken me just over a year, may sink in properly soon). Then again, I never dare turn down a friend request..., particulaly not from someone else with AS.

Mienai wrote:
-I don't really do anything with my life. If I'm not at work I'm either doing my exercise/fitness work, playing on XboxLive or just contemplating nothing, watching my life waste away.


Like most of us.... :lol: but there are plenty of special interest groups, (I never would have thought there were other people who like Edward Gorey and Aubrey Beardsley as much as me...)
There are also AS groups etc.

Mienai wrote:
--I don't really like the past, and want no attachment to it, practical or not. I do not want to be 'found' by people I once knew, nor do I want them seeing my (no) friends quota or what I am doing in life.


Don't know what to say about that, as have some similar issues....not been unpleasantly shocked too much by unwanted reminders of the past though. I do get annoyed by pointless or intrusive "comments" though

Mienai wrote:
--I hate myself physically and utterly detest photos... I hear those are pretty mandatory.


Yes, that's the worst aspect..I had a cartoon of myself as a profile picture until I found a bearable one. People tagging pictures of you, that is the worst. You can "de-tag", but they still exist. I did try and point out this made me suicidal...

umm, so that's my thoughts. Don't know if it helps that other people have same issues with it. But I do.


_________________
Other people are people too.


irene
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 329
Location: Kissimmee, FL

18 Apr 2009, 6:34 pm

When I first joined Facebook I had the same attitude that you have. But since then I have found it be rather interesting.

No, I don't post any photos, or make daily comments concerning my status. Once I wrote something about that I went to work today and will do the same tomorrow. Recently someone on my friends list told everyone that he couldn't think of anything to say. I let him know if that is the case he should say nothing.

Other than all of that it's not bad. There are groups for Asperger's. I have included Alex Plank on my list of friends. Most of the people on my list are people that I worked with. I enjoy seeing all their photos from years ago.

There's also groups for games (I joined one for the Sims 3), public libraries, etc.

I also think it's a way of getting to know the people on your list a bit better without any direct contact. Just by reading their page you can find out more about their interests, and any recent activities. I think it's a great way of finding out that you might have more in common with someone than you think you do.

If you should decide you want to do it would you want to add me to your list? Hope that doesn't come across in the wrong way-like egotistical.

Good luck with your decision. Let us know what you decide. irene



gbollard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,009
Location: Sydney, Australia

19 Apr 2009, 3:49 am

Mienai wrote:
I think I haven't done anything with it because... I'm afraid of it. Why?

-people looking at what you're doing in your life (or not doing)



If you're a privacy freak, then facebook isn't the place for you. Some people are just a little paranoid.

For myself, I don't care what anyone thinks. I'm the only person qualified to hold an opinion about myself and I'll say and do whatever I want - provided that it doesn't impinge on other people's freedoms.


Mienai wrote:
I don't really have any friends (that I would use that word anyway... a few acquaintances). WhilstI 'd love to have some friends, showing up on facebook with none is a pretty good sign of being a loser, just like in real life, right?


Nope.. I don't think it really matters how many (or how few) friends you have on facebook. It's not a popularity contest. It's good to have a few people, like some relatives for instance, otherwise it's just a "private" page.


Mienai wrote:
I don't really do anything with my life. If I'm not at work I'm either doing my exercise/fitness work, playing on XboxLive or just contemplating nothing, watching my life waste away.


And you think we do?


Mienai wrote:
I don't really like the past, and want no attachment to it, practical or not. I do not want to be 'found' by people I once knew, nor do I want them seeing my (no) friends quota or what I am doing in life.


Like your first point, this is another good reason why you and facebook aren't suited to eachother. There's no pressure. Don't use it... simple really.


Mienai wrote:
I hate myself physically and utterly detest photos... I hear those are pretty mandatory.


not mandatory, but it's nice to have some so that people know who you are.

Mienai wrote:
Are my fears justified? All I want is to meet new people who like the (few, shallow) things I do, who can show me new things, or just make my life a little bit worthwhile. Can facebook do that?


No, your fears aren't justified, they're just paranoia but don't worry, lots of people have it.

Can facebook help you find people with similar interests etc... Yes, but not the way you intend to use it. You'd be better off looking for online forums and groups which support your special interests.



Manders
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jul 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,180
Location: 6 Underground

19 Apr 2009, 4:27 am

Mienai wrote:
-I don't really do anything with my life. If I'm not at work I'm either doing my exercise/fitness work, playing on XboxLive or just contemplating nothing, watching my life waste away.


Here's an issue I have with Facebook. It kind of puts me down to see all my 'friends' posting pictures of parties, trips, etc... when I never do anything worth posting about. I still find it fun though. There are other things to do on the site. It's really not bad.

As for the privacy aspect... I'm a very private person too. I just don't post anything I wouldn't want others seeing. You can be very vague with the info you put on there - I sure am. I NEVER post anything personal, and I make sure all my pictures are halfway decent.

You can also prevent yourself from coming up in searches.. meaning the only way people will come across your profile is if you add them as a friend. I'm not sure how to do it, but I have friends who have done it so it's possible.

I personally have made new friends on Facebook, many through the groups I've joined. You can be introduced to new people through it. That's something I like about it. If you decide to join, you can add me if you'd like. My profile.

Lord, I sound like a Facebook enthusiast. :P I just like playing around with it in my spare time.



ed
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Dec 2004
Age: 79
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,788
Location: Whitinsville, MA

19 Apr 2009, 11:38 am

I created a facebook page with great trepidation, worried mostly about privacy. I did it because I have tons of old family pictures and I wanted to share them with a scattered family. Also some old friends from 20 years ago.

I have it set to very private, unlike my MySpace page, which is open to everyone.

I did discover a "Camp Winape" group (a summer camp I went to in 1956 and 1957) and got it going with a bunch of pictures I had from those years.

There are lots of "applications," which I don't use, because I see no reasons to trust giving them access to my page. I don't send drinks to anyone, or any other similar stuff.


_________________
How can we outlaw a plant created by a perfect God?


elderwanda
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Nov 2008
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,534
Location: San Francisco Bay Area

19 Apr 2009, 4:28 pm

I will insert pins in my eyeballs before I ever join Facebook.



zen_mistress
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,033

19 Apr 2009, 6:39 pm

Mienai wrote:
I can't listen to a conversation or go on a website without hearing that word. I do have a minimal page set up, but it has no activity going on, it is just the bare page you get for signing up.

I think I haven't done anything with it because... I'm afraid of it. Why?

-people looking at what you're doing in your life (or not doing)
-I don't really have any friends (that I would use that word anyway... a few acquaintances). WhilstI 'd love to have some friends, showing up on facebook with none is a pretty good sign of being a loser, just like in real life, right? Like how you point out you are looking for friends and get bumped out because you don't have any so a clearly a failure.
-I don't really do anything with my life. If I'm not at work I'm either doing my exercise/fitness work, playing on XboxLive or just contemplating nothing, watching my life waste away.
-I don't really like the past, and want no attachment to it, practical or not. I do not want to be 'found' by people I once knew, nor do I want them seeing my (no) friends quota or what I am doing in life.
-I hate myself physically and utterly detest photos... I hear those are pretty mandatory.

Are my fears justified? All I want is to meet new people who like the (few, shallow) things I do, who can show me new things, or just make my life a little bit worthwhile. Can facebook do that?

Help me please, I'm running out of ways to save my life. < /melodrama>


Same here! It seems to me that these social networking pages are a sort of advertisement extolling the virtues of a persons life.

I just dont know what to write, it would be a sort of anti-advertisement if I told the truth about what is actually going on and I am not fond of constructing some sort of untrue image.

I also worry I would become obsessed with social networking websites as I have become obsessed with chatrooms, forums and IM in the past.


BTW Irene I love your Avatar...



irene
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 329
Location: Kissimmee, FL

20 Apr 2009, 6:42 am

Web mistress-Thanks for the compliment.

Now that we are talking about Facebook-I have considered posting a general announcement that I am an Aspie. What does anyone think about that? I frequently do things without being able to determine the potential consequences.

I just enjoy reading the activities of NTs, what they feel is important to reveal to the world. Of course I'm still clueless as to why they write alot of things. But to me it could be compared to learning about another culture. Would something like Facebook work for only people with autism/Asperger's? Would people with the syndrome feel more comfortable?

See ya around.

irene



PrisonerSix
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jul 2004
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 689
Location: The Village

21 Apr 2009, 12:27 pm

A friend has tried to recruit me to Facebook, but I haven't joined. For one thing, there are people out there from my past I don't want to find me, and want nothing to do with. Also, I wouldn't have much to post there either, since I don't live an exciting life. The most exciting thing that has happened to me is a couple of months ago my car got totalled an I was in pain for oever a month. I basically go to work, come home, play with my computer, which is dualbooted with Ubuntu and WinXP, or my ham radio.

My life isn't all that exciting, and I don't feel the need to advertise it to everyone.


_________________
PrisonerSix

"I am not a number, I am a free man!"


MONKEY
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jan 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 9,896
Location: Stoke, England (sometimes :P)

21 Apr 2009, 12:51 pm

I like facebook I found aload of people from junior school and they all look the same. Although the downside is when everyone showing pictures from nights out and partying and all the updates I put on there are youtube vids or something boring like "been on computer all day"


_________________
What film do atheists watch on Christmas?
Coincidence on 34th street.


Gliesen_Antrho
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 9 Dec 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 73

21 Apr 2009, 1:48 pm

the worst thing is for every friend you add, there is a pop up notification when something happens to their profile. Nothing is so soul destroying as seeing other people posting to each other every 5 mins, and no one wants to say anything to you for 3 months, I get enough of that crap everytime I go outside thank you.



PrisonerSix
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jul 2004
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 689
Location: The Village

21 Apr 2009, 3:26 pm

MONKEY wrote:
I like facebook I found aload of people from junior school and they all look the same. Although the downside is when everyone showing pictures from nights out and partying and all the updates I put on there are youtube vids or something boring like "been on computer all day"


Finding those people, or those people finding me, would be a negative. Most people in junior high and high school treated me very badly, so I don't want to hear from them ever again. Family hasn't always been great to me either, so I keep my distance.


_________________
PrisonerSix

"I am not a number, I am a free man!"


Mienai
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 28
Location: UK

21 Apr 2009, 4:48 pm

Hmm, interesting replies, thanks...

One 'don't do it' and a bunch of 'mehs' means... I guess I should hold off it for now and find another avenue to escape my loneliness and depression.

...

Oh, right, nothing.



irene
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 329
Location: Kissimmee, FL

22 Apr 2009, 11:46 am

I think I now understand what I find troubling about everyone's negative comments on Facebook. It's a matter that it seems to me that those who do not like the site are comparing themselves to other people. People they suspect are NTs.

PrisonerSix-you said your life isn't exciting. It sounds as though you're happy. Just because these people communicate with one another is not an indication that they are any happier than you are. I know people here, lots of people, who spend their whole lives working, talking, drinking beer, and smoking.

Gliesen Antrho-if these people are posting messages every 5 minutes it sounds as though the only life they have is the internet.


You see my attitude about the whole thing is that I am not like most people, I am myself. I do not want to feel as though I have to hide away from this kind of thing because I am not capable of being like them. I am so tired of having to hide some of my Aspie traits that I just don't want to that any more. Maybe I have a "in your face" kind of attitude about this whole Facebook thing.

I just don't want to read that people are not joining this website because they feel as though they don't measure up to other people's standards. Since curse words are blocked out I won't tell you how I feel about that kind of attitude. If you find it necessary to know I could do a pm.

I really hope that none of this has offended anyone.

irene



pensieve
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,204
Location: Sydney, Australia

23 Apr 2009, 12:30 am

Facebook is just like my address book - I only have people on it that I have met, or have met but was too drunk to remember. And I got into those scavenger hunt applications so I have some people that alway play them adding me. I taught a few of those people about AS because they suspect their sons had it.

If you're too afraid of having Facebook then don't. I sometimes wonder why I have a Myspace, Facebook, Bebo and Twitter account. I'm not really that social. I've actually joined a social Harry Potter site, which is better because you can get house points and talk to other crazy potter fans. A lot of people have HP pictures as their display pics too.