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Not saying hi when I was out on my walk.

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Jamesy
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16 Oct 2023, 7:39 am

Today I walked round my local woodland area. This man said good morning to this lady he walked past.

As I walked past the older guy I said "Good morning" and he just looked me with an expressionless face saying nothing.

Have you experienced anything similar before in public?



Last edited by Jamesy on 16 Oct 2023, 7:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

blitzkrieg
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16 Oct 2023, 7:41 am

Maybe he knew the lady, and that was the reason he said good morning to her and not you.

Or perhaps he was only interested in talking to women at the time?



Jamesy
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16 Oct 2023, 7:45 am

blitzkrieg wrote:
Maybe he knew the lady, and that was the reason he said good morning to her and not you.

Or perhaps he was only interested in talking to women at the time?



Isn't it just standard politeness to say good morning back if someone greets you?



blitzkrieg
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16 Oct 2023, 7:46 am

Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Maybe he knew the lady, and that was the reason he said good morning to her and not you.

Or perhaps he was only interested in talking to women at the time?



Isn't it just standard politeness to say good morning back if someone greets you?


It is.

But not everyone abides by that social rule, obviously.



Jamesy
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16 Oct 2023, 7:50 am

blitzkrieg wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Maybe he knew the lady, and that was the reason he said good morning to her and not you.

Or perhaps he was only interested in talking to women at the time?



Isn't it just standard politeness to say good morning back if someone greets you?


It is.

But not everyone abides by that social rule, obviously.



Especially to us autistics



blitzkrieg
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16 Oct 2023, 8:00 am

Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Maybe he knew the lady, and that was the reason he said good morning to her and not you.

Or perhaps he was only interested in talking to women at the time?



Isn't it just standard politeness to say good morning back if someone greets you?


It is.

But not everyone abides by that social rule, obviously.



Especially to us autistics


True.



Jamesy
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16 Oct 2023, 8:09 am

blitzkrieg wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Maybe he knew the lady, and that was the reason he said good morning to her and not you.

Or perhaps he was only interested in talking to women at the time?



Isn't it just standard politeness to say good morning back if someone greets you?


It is.

But not everyone abides by that social rule, obviously.



Especially to us autistics


True.



There's no reason to hate autistics though



blitzkrieg
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16 Oct 2023, 8:28 am

Jamesy wrote:
There's no reason to hate autistics though


No, there isn't.

Unfortunately, autistic people are highly discriminated against within society.



DuckHairback
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16 Oct 2023, 8:53 am

Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Maybe he knew the lady, and that was the reason he said good morning to her and not you.

Or perhaps he was only interested in talking to women at the time?



Isn't it just standard politeness to say good morning back if someone greets you?


It is.

But not everyone abides by that social rule, obviously.



Especially to us autistics


Do you know this man, Jamesy? Otherwise how would he know you are autistic?

I've noticed all sorts of rules governing greeting people on walks.

Where I live it's expected you would say hello and get a response.

In other places I've been it would be considered weird to greet a stranger.

It seems to have something to do with how close you are to centres of population. The more remote and the less likely you are to see someone, the more expected it is to greet people, I think.


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Jamesy
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16 Oct 2023, 9:10 am

DuckHairback wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Maybe he knew the lady, and that was the reason he said good morning to her and not you.

Or perhaps he was only interested in talking to women at the time?



Isn't it just standard politeness to say good morning back if someone greets you?


It is.

But not everyone abides by that social rule, obviously.



Especially to us autistics


Do you know this man, Jamesy? Otherwise how would he know you are autistic?

I've noticed all sorts of rules governing greeting people on walks.

Where I live it's expected you would say hello and get a response.

In other places I've been it would be considered weird to greet a stranger.

It seems to have something to do with how close you are to centres of population. The more remote and the less likely you are to see someone, the more expected it is to greet people, I think.



No I dont know him but saying "Good morning" to someone is just standard in mu country.



Jakki
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16 Oct 2023, 10:08 am

As a Aspie and having known there is a bit of discrimination against more or less obvious Aspies .
Am sensatized to noticing personal interaction,potential discrimination ...And after all these years , i used to default to say hello to everyone as I passed them .Or at least acknowledge them. After many years , I make evaluations on the appearance of the person, not necessarily overall appearance but their facial expressions, with attention to their eyes ..regardless if i do not like to engage eye contact . Indifference , digust dislike even hate, or hostility can be sourced by a face. i feel . But if a casual greeting to someone is not returned, i make it a mental note...And often
note that if I see this type of appearing person again. And do try to disregard , less than polite people . And try not to carry that over to the next person .( perhaps they are having a bad day) :skull: And i do not wish to share in that. BUT if i get a smile or a verbal response . Will note that too, and let it become part of my day .. :D
[ have come to almost find these things as a survival skill]


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Jamesy
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16 Oct 2023, 10:13 am

Jakki wrote:
As a Aspie and having known there is a bit of discrimination against more or less obvious Aspies .
Am sensatized to noticing personal interaction,potential discrimination ...And after all these years , i used to default to say hello to everyone as I passed them .Or at least acknowledge them. After many years , I make evaluations on the appearance of the person, not necessarily overall appearance but their facial expressions, with attention to their eyes ..regardless if i do not like to engage eye contact . Indifference , digust dislike even hate, or hostility can be sourced by a face. i feel . But if a casual greeting to someone is not returned, i make it a mental note...And often
note that if I see this type of appearing person again. And do try to disregard , less than polite people . And try not to carry that over to the next person .( perhaps they are having a bad day) :skull: And i do not wish to share in that. BUT if i get a smile or a verbal response . Will note that too, and let it become part of my day .. :D
[ have come to almost find these things as a survival skill]



Discrimination against aspies should not be happening full stop in a modern society.



BillyTree
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16 Oct 2023, 3:38 pm

If that old man didn't say "Hello!" to you it's his problem. Maybe he had his reasons that had nothing to do with you. Some people act weird or rude. Some people are nasty. Don't waste time thinking about him. Next time you see him just don't say "Hello!"


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16 Oct 2023, 4:01 pm

It's also possible that the man was ND himself, caught up in a thought, & had no idea anyone had spoken to him. I've certainly done this, even as an adult. It's annoying, but it's judging him for a response in a situation where many of us have likely acted similarly.