Fell head over heels for an aspie

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We live a few states away from each other. Met him in my town...flew to his...now he is coming back to see me, though not sure when because he is getting ready to move first. Hopefully next month.

I didn't realize he was on the spectrum when I went up to see him. I ended up very confused because he wasn't affectionate when I was up there. I ended up sending many emotional texts with almost no response when I came back. Then he ghosted me for 3 weeks. I was devastated. I later learned from someone else that he is on the spectrum. I can understand that my messages were likely confusing for him and he didn't know how to process them. He finally messaged me back a week ago, and apologized for disappearing. He said he was going through a lot of stress. I picked up communication with him...we chat a little bit most days...we got very flirty over the weekend, but most days my heart hurts for him. Last night, I sent a flirty text that he should fly here and give me a kiss. He responded back that he was studying and doing homework. I was hoping to hear that he can't wait to see me and wants to kiss me as well. When I don't get validation that he cares for me, I start to question if he does. I want to tell him that, but I don't want to come off as needy/high maintenance either. Before he stopped talking to me for a few weeks, in my plethora of emotional texts, I told him I really care for him and want to keep seeing him. So it's not like he doesn't know...right?? Any advice?

How did you guys meet?

Do you know what he’s looking for?

I would back off for awhile and see what happens. If he’s interested, he’ll pursue you. Unless I’m missing something, he doesn’t seem to be reciprocating interest.

The good news is that most Aspies want romantic relationships.

The bad news is that most Aspies have poor or undeveloped social skills.
They may have difficulty remembering faces or reading body language.

I'd suggest studying autism, keeping in mind that the severity varies widely.
If he is busy studying that suggests he may be able to learn social skills if he puts his mind to them.
But, if he can't remember faces, well, that complicates things.

I'll be blunt here & say your relationship sounds like it's doomed since your the type of person who needs lots of validation & he's the type to get overwhelmed by that & then not communicate with you for weeks. I think it would be best to end things & try to find someone who's more on your level regarding communication & clingieness/needieness. I know 1st hand that someone not matching well with you on that can cause lots of problems & frustration.

Actually agree as it does need to be both ways and the only way to tell that the heart felt feelings go both ways is if the origional poster backs off a little to see how the other person responds.

Sometimes it is difficult for someone to know how they feel. They could themselves be waiting for some inner conformation that the person is "The right one", or one knows that one feels happy.

Someone else said just now that it is going to be difficult as both caracters desire opposite things.
One needs to know that they are loved and wants attention and the other closes off to avoid being overwealmed. Sadly this can be tough for the one who needs attention... So the two different character needs may not work out well in the long term.

I love happy endings, so I hope all goes well, but as suggested above to try to ease off to see what he does. This will indicate if he has genuine feelings for ou or if he is undecided.... Could be timing? Not sure... But so far it may be difficult unless he responds...


Remember that how autism effects one person will effect another in an entirely different way. Every case is different just as it is with people who aren't on the spectrum! So do not assume that everyone will respond in the same way... But one does need a positive response... What Inmean by this is if he choses you as his lover, he should respond by opening up and confiding with you when things go wrong or if he is feeling stressed as to me this is a natural response. I know jot everyone is the same, but there needs to be a degree of this or it will all be one way and not work. Anyway. How it all works out.