Can Asperger people become emotional manipulators?
The person who's likely manipulated me the most is an aspie. (Likely because I'm not sure if others have manipulated me more while I was more naive and unable to identify it.) I consider him having purposefully manipulated me and not purposefully abused me.
I'd say that not only autistic people can manipulate people, but there are particular areas where they are more likely to end up manipulating you than others. When you combine these, it can be a huge mess.
My ex boyfriend was a emotional manipulator and he was aspie. I had learned that over time. I am also realizing just now he was a narcissistic. If not, he had some qualities or behaviors that mimicked it.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
I don't know about others, but I can certainly be manipulative, I just generally don't care enough about what's going on around me to bother. When its too my advantage somehow I can manipulate situations, events and people to get what I want, but I generally try not to take too much advantage because I try to live an ethical life.
I think the only limitation of an Aspies ability to manipulate someone else is (aside from ethics or morality) their ability to understand that person's emotions and motivations and their ability to effectively communicate and use those as levers to position them to your best advantage. While we can be at a disadvantage at understanding an individuals feelings or motivations, I myself am a student of human nature and psychology (as I suspect are many others)--largely in an effort to understand and better fit in with the people around me--so if I'm trying to manipulate someone I generally try to take advantage of human nature, though it is easier the better you know someone and how they react to a given stimuli.
Also to our advantage in manipulation is that we can come at issues or problems from odd directions and see things others don't and use those connections to convince someone of your point. Basically confusing them with logic problems and making them confront a slightly skewed perspective which places their own off balance where you can take advantage of them.
The problem (besides the moral and ethical issues) is that its a difficult skill to learn as reading social situations and cues can be difficult and when we get it wrong it can be pretty disastrous. Also, it can be difficult to hide the fact that you were manipulating them and that causes resentment even if you weren't taking extreme advantages.
Aspies generally have poor social skills and are usually blunt and straightforward. They often lack the subtleties of emotional skills in order to successfully manipulate others. If they do try to manipulate other people it is so obvious it backfires and they end up getting laughed at themselves!
What may seem to be manipulative behaviour, outbursts, passive aggression may not be manipulative at all. It may be genuine confusion at being unable to express themselves in a way that other people will understand.
(Thank you, for your patience, as I reformat.)
You're dealing with emotion as a dynamic force in action, not as a mechanism or system of rules.
The NT human is a creature of instinct and habit, and can be controlled in much the same respect as a predatory animal, assuming you know it's physical reflexes.
When you see these exhibits, keep in mind that the handler has an advantage, in that he is mentally detached. The animal is going through these routines, as though it is real life.
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