I'm not good at anything.

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AtomicKaiju
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25 Jun 2009, 3:41 pm

Everyone else here seems to have some sort of talent, like writing, drawing, and music, but I don't. My teachers would tell me that I'm good at writing (just good, not great), but all it really does is frustrate me to the point where I just want to avoid doing it as a career. I sometimes write down concepts for comics/cartoons but that's as far as I go. I also cannot draw to save my life. The only things that I'm able to draw are cartoon characters, and even those suck. They end up sloppy and imperfect, and every time I try to fix them, I make them even worse. And when it comes to music, I'm basically tone deaf. Music is just way too complex for me to understand. I know when it comes to talent, practice makes perfect, but why practice something you hate doing? And if I have no talent, what good am I? Is there anything else I might be good at, or am I doomed to be a loser for the rest of my life?



Raschu
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25 Jun 2009, 5:22 pm

You should try to find something you like to do, as long as you like to do it, it won't matter if you are good at it or not.

Also it's well known that it takes 10% talent and 90% hard work to get to the top of anything.


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Aimless
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25 Jun 2009, 8:01 pm

That's ok by me Raschu- I know I do it too. You are so right about that 90%. I wish I had it but I don't. I have a degree in Painting but have done nothing for years. Somehow the idea of working so hard on something that someone else will see and judge in an instant just makes me too tired. I also get bored with an idea before I'm done. I love the physical process of painting if things are going well, otherwise it's hell. Back when I was a kid it was just fun, now it has to mean something. Anyway there are many very talented artists and musicians who never get acknowledged because they don't have that marketable quality about themselves or sometimes just not the right opportunities. AtomicKaiju it may just seem like everyone else here is artistically inclined because that is what you want for yourself and so you notice those people more. I may have a facility for art that is very badly out of practice, but I couldn't harmonize if my life depended on it. Maybe I could come up with a simple tune, but write a piece of music? Totally beyond me.



AtomicKaiju
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25 Jun 2009, 8:40 pm

Aimless wrote:
Somehow the idea of working so hard on something that someone else will see and judge in an instant just makes me too tired.


That's one of the reasons why it frustrates me to write. I just can't be a perfectionist for someone who isn't perfect to begin with.

Aimless wrote:
AtomicKaiju it may just seem like everyone else here is artistically inclined because that is what you want for yourself and so you notice those people more.


That helps explain it. I'd like one of my ideas to kick off into a real series, but I just can't write a script. Maybe I can just show my ideas to someone else who has REAL writing skills and have them do all the work for me. LOL!

Thanks for your responses everyone.



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25 Jun 2009, 9:25 pm

AtomicKaiju--

My perception is that "not being talented at anything" is not your problem. The problems with your thinking, which are far more likely to be the cause of your unhappiness than "not being good at anything," are most noticeable in the following ways:

1. Black-and-white thinking, which for you seems to manifest itself in the belief that you are either going to be "good" or "bad" at something. It sounds like, from what you wrote, you believe that unless you are a master in a given field, you may as well not try. I encourage you to seek the middle ground here, and realize that the masters of ANYTHING have spent years and years of hard work and practice getting there--they aren't just great at it to begin with. Finally, perfectionism is a form of twisted thinking that is almost CERTAIN to leave you miserable in the long run, as your standards for yourself will never be truly met.

2. You have no faith in yourself! Instead of a long and verbose explanation, I'll just leave you with a quote from Henry Ford: "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're absolutely right."

3. You are operating on the mistaken and pain-causing assumption that unless you have a specific talent, you aren't worth anything. I encourage you to find ways to feel good about yourself that do not rely on others' validation by telling you how talented you are or that you're the best.

I hope this helps you get to the root of what's really going on for you, and I'd be more than happy to discuss it with you further if you'd like. Lastly, you seem to have taken on the role of the "victim" in your life, and negative/hopeless thinking permeates your entire post. I came from a very similar mindset not very long ago, and I can tell you this: your outlook on life is what is making you miserable. It has nothing to do with lack of talent!



AtomicKaiju
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25 Jun 2009, 10:11 pm

BurningMoose wrote:
AtomicKaiju--

My perception is that "not being talented at anything" is not your problem. The problems with your thinking, which are far more likely to be the cause of your unhappiness than "not being good at anything," are most noticeable in the following ways:

1. Black-and-white thinking, which for you seems to manifest itself in the belief that you are either going to be "good" or "bad" at something. It sounds like, from what you wrote, you believe that unless you are a master in a given field, you may as well not try. I encourage you to seek the middle ground here, and realize that the masters of ANYTHING have spent years and years of hard work and practice getting there--they aren't just great at it to begin with. Finally, perfectionism is a form of twisted thinking that is almost CERTAIN to leave you miserable in the long run, as your standards for yourself will never be truly met.

2. You have no faith in yourself! Instead of a long and verbose explanation, I'll just leave you with a quote from Henry Ford: "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're absolutely right."

3. You are operating on the mistaken and pain-causing assumption that unless you have a specific talent, you aren't worth anything. I encourage you to find ways to feel good about yourself that do not rely on others' validation by telling you how talented you are or that you're the best.

I hope this helps you get to the root of what's really going on for you, and I'd be more than happy to discuss it with you further if you'd like. Lastly, you seem to have taken on the role of the "victim" in your life, and negative/hopeless thinking permeates your entire post. I came from a very similar mindset not very long ago, and I can tell you this: your outlook on life is what is making you miserable. It has nothing to do with lack of talent!


Wow. Thanks. I never really thought about it like that.

1. I'll try to think more "gray" from now on. I also really, really hate perfectionism.

2. That's a nice quote. It's starting to make me feel better.

3. At my job, I wash golf carts and try my best. I know that I don't need others to tell me I'm a good worker, but one of my employers told me that I was the most hard working of all the other cart washers that have worked there, which makes me feel good about myself. I just wish I worked more than one day a week.

I humbly thank you for your advice, but I might get back into the mood where I feel like a total failure again. It's a mood I always go into and out of again.



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25 Jun 2009, 10:37 pm

My talent scope seems very similar to yours, including the writing part, lol. I commonly do not view writing, drawing, and music as viable options for an actual job. If one has talent in that area, he is not Leonardo da Vinci. And nobody really cares. :? I prefer to look at the more "useful" areas, such as engineering, development, research, construction... or places where people are needed.

I'd prod at things you haven't tried yet. Sometimes you never know what you are into. I've been cruising in the engineering/computer area for ages when I took AP Psychology and it hit me that I love this stuff.

In any case, if you don't know what to do, pick something hard... if you later want to re-qualify, it will be easy.


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zen_mistress
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26 Jun 2009, 1:44 am

I know what you mean. I dont have the attention span to develop talents, I just like to have a good time.

I enjoy things, I dont really produce things, lol.

I guess I am one of life's consumers. Not talking about material consumption but consumption of stimuli and fun and other great stuff.



Raschu
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26 Jun 2009, 5:09 am

AtomicKaiju wrote:
but I might get back into the mood where I feel like a total failure again. It's a mood I always go into and out of again.


I guess that's just an aspie thing, I have it too, It's like a wave going up and down, when it's down I just lose my inspiration to do something creative, those aspie writer blocks can be very frustrating.


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Ana54
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26 Jun 2009, 12:17 pm

You don`t have to have one huge talent. You can just have tons of little ones. A lot of people are like that. :)