Scared to death of my teaching job!
I worked in special education for two years and that seemed to be my niche; I enjoyed it so much, I guess because of how non-traditional the teaching was (you can't just stand in front of the class and lecture, etc.). However, I had to leave that position and start a new one, but this is in kindergarten. I can't explain why it's so scary to me. I'm absolutely falling apart. Today was my first day and I'm terrified. I really don't know what to do.
I think my asperger's is getting worse as I get older or something.
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What fresh hell is this?
Shut up! I'm having a rhetorical conversation.
I understand we understand each other.
Hello Island. I too am a teacher---and I know what you are going through. First, I know some people wonder how we with AS decided on teaching. My therapist asked me that once. I told him I was familiar with the routine of school---it was all I had known since childhood. To get a job in the classroom was placing me in a familiar place. So...I taught high school English for 19 years...then...after the administration suggested I become the gifted intervention specialist...I agreed. After accepting the position in the summer 2007, I fell apart. I became a mess. I cried, I panicked, I was depressed...I did not know what was happening to me. Well...the reason for my crisis was the change in what had been a familiar routine. I think that is what is happening to you...it's a change in what has been familiar to you. Now, I am happy with my job of working with gifted kids. And I believe you will be happy too with your new position. Just trust that you will be alright. I believe it is normal for those of us with autism to get upset when our routines change. But after a few days, you should become adjusted.
Best wishes to you...and feel free to PM me anytime.
glider18
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"My journey has just begun."
I think my asperger's is getting worse as I get older or something.
I totally relate to what you're saying. My parents encouraged me to become a teacher after college because I always liked school and I was a good student. I definitely enjoyed the structured environment and the routine, and ended up going to a purely academic university. I have my teaching license now (K-5) but no teaching job. Student teaching was a nightmare- they made me go through it three times! When I finally passed my cooperating teacher wouldn't recommend me for a job with the public school district. So, I took my license and applied to work in a private school. They hired me as a first grade teacher and I only lasted one week. It was awful. I didn't know when or how to ask for help. I think it was just too much responsibility for me, as bright as I am intellectually.
I have subbed a lot in the past and it works really well for me. The day is planned out for you, and you don't have to collaborate with anybody. I love everything about school, but it's so different when you're not the student anymore.
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