opinions please

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James is 8 and mildly autistic. Today was his sisters b-day and we went to a indoor play place that was for children 8 and under so most of the kids were younger. He is usually very good with younger kids but today he was having a more aggressive day. He was not trying to hurt the other children intentionally, but he was thowing things, grabbing them and growling at them to the point that some where scared. I am usually able to pull him out of this kind of behavior, but not today. I know this may sound horrible but I was embarrassed at some point with his actions and I have never felt this way before. I felt like everyone was staring and commenting on his behaviors. The owner even asked if I minded if she told him that he could not play in the toddler area or throw things. I allowed her to do so and she was very nice about it. My thoughts were if the parents knew they would be more understanding. I have 5 children and I loved this place for my little one and was hoping to go back soon. Someone I know suggested I buy one of those shirts that say Im not being bad I'm Autistic (or something along those lines). I'm not sure how I feel about that so I wanted someone elses opinion please tell me what you think

I would think that a shirt like that would be interpreted in every imaginable way but the right one.

Hello, I am 18 and have Asperger's and this actually brings back a lot of memories from when I was around that age. Places like that can get stressful, partly due to difficulties interacting with the other children and also just because they are so loud. If you think he getting too stressed out you take him somewhere quieter, with less people.

Making your child wear a shirt like that would probably do more harm than good in the long run, because he can't use autism as an excuse for aggressive behaviour. You have to make sure you teach him that he cannot act that way and he needs to learn to empathise with the other children. This is difficult for a child with mild autism, but if you take him aside whenever you see him act in an inappropriate way, and try to explain it to him, maybe he will understand. It's natural that you feel slightly embarrassed and want other parents to understand him, but it is more important that he learns to control his actions and behave in a more appropriate manner.

My AS son has a lot of difficulty in those indoor play places due to sensory issues. Consider the noise and all the over-excited and unpredictable kids running around - not something an AS child thrives on. Basically, when over-stimulated, it gets much more difficult for any child to exercise self-control, and this is going to be true for your son. Perhaps the place isn't a good choice for James. If you really enjoy going, I would to find some way to help him regulate the sensory input. Regular breaks, redirection to quieter parts of the room, earphones and a book, or maybe assigning him "jobs" as a "big brother helper" (my son seems to do better in crazy environments when he has a specific task that helps him gain a sense of control). Make it a better experience for him and the behavior issues will mitigate.

I've only pulled the "please be understanding, my son has autism" theoretical card once, and that was because he was in full meltdown in a public, enclosed space. And that was only to the one person who kindly asked if there was anything they could do to help. Obviously I blew it planning and managing that outing. I think everyone's experience is happier if our kids are in situations they can manage, instead of ones they cannot. Mitigation is a useful thing.

I just wanted to say that I agree with the previous three posters.