A fickle and strange co-worker



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Miyah
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10 Feb 2010, 3:26 pm

I work in with another co-worker who has some sort of learning disabilities and I cannot figure her out. One minute, I feel like she acts like your friend but if you do something such as batting one eye, she won't talk to you. She and I were talking for quite a while, but recently, she has been really quiet towards me and nice to another co-worker whom she once accused of sexually harassing her. She also talked behind his back for quite sometime and said that he had an attitude.

Now, she is doing the same thing to me and totally ignoring me and acting like a 5th grader towards me. For instance, she let me borrow her gloves today, and I by accidentally picked my nose wearing them. She got offended, and I said I was sorry. So, I took them off for a while and I didn't want to make her mad in case I had to blow my nose. However, she said that I could wear them but just not put them up my nose. I tried to cheer her up by laughing about the "Up my nose," part. She then scowled at me and scoffed, "That's not funny," and stormed off with an attitude and didn't offer to communicate with me.

After break, she didn't bother to talk to me for the rest of the day and pouted in a really quiet, yet angry voice. She said things like, "I don't care," and "Ok."

She also did not communicate with me what was really on her mind and just acting really weird. However, she might be pregnant and is worried when she goes to the doctor.

How should I approach this situation?



CleverKitten
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10 Feb 2010, 5:24 pm

I would just leave her alone for now. She seems to have some problems that she needs to work out for herself. Trying to talk to her will only make it worse.


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Miyah
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10 Feb 2010, 5:34 pm

CleverKitten wrote:
I would just leave her alone for now. She seems to have some problems that she needs to work out for herself. Trying to talk to her will only make it worse.


That sounds like a great idea since she is going to act like a drama queen and take those problems out on me.



Laerrigan
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10 Feb 2010, 5:40 pm

You sound like you would like to be able to help her in her worried state. That just makes me smile helplessly---I usually recognize a need for personal warmth well after the fact, and shy away from doing anything about it with someone I'm not very close to (I had to read your post a few times through before realizing it was "How should I approach her worries/need" rather than "How can I make this annoyingly fickle person like me," then I had to delete a couple paragraphs of my reply). You also sound rather delightful, yourself, lol.

About all I could say is be frank and sincere. You already had a conversational connection with her for a while, though I don't know how personal/deep you might have gotten with it. If she's the sort who simply refuses to say what caused the change in her attitude toward you so perhaps it can be remedied, and also won't put it in the past and forgive and move on, then I don't think there's much that could be done other than simply remaining courteous and warm toward her. Some people simply won't let anyone in. I don't know your religious leanings, but if it's in keeping, I'd say do a lot of praying about it, for her and for you.


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superboyian
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10 Feb 2010, 5:54 pm

Sounds like she might have MPD (Multi-Personality Disorder) or something or possibly she aint at her mind set.
As CleverKitten said you might aswell leave her to be.... have you asked her why she's been like that?


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Homer_Bob
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10 Feb 2010, 6:07 pm

Don't bother with her anymore, there's got to be other people there you could talk to. There's a couple co-workers I use to get along with in the past that I can't stand now. It happens; people change.


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Miyah
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10 Feb 2010, 6:45 pm

Homer_Bob wrote:
Don't bother with her anymore, there's got to be other people there you could talk to. There's a couple co-workers I use to get along with in the past that I can't stand now. It happens; people change.


Thank you so much. This girl leans more towards being a neurotypical and sometimes doesn't understand Asperger's Syndrome and why I act the way I do. For instance, she made a really big stink about my cutting my chin length bob into a really short pixie myself and shut down when she saw my hair.



Laerrigan
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10 Feb 2010, 8:07 pm

Miyah wrote:
Thank you so much. This girl leans more towards being a neurotypical and sometimes doesn't understand Asperger's Syndrome and why I act the way I do. For instance, she made a really big stink about my cutting my chin length bob into a really short pixie myself and shut down when she saw my hair.


I really don't think that's a matter of NT. Sounds like a matter of really having problems. Your hair is none of her concern, and the vast majority of people would realize that, even if they felt compelled to express their opinion of it.


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Shebakoby
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10 Feb 2010, 8:10 pm

This one sounds crazy and possibly passive-aggressive.



Laerrigan
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10 Feb 2010, 8:46 pm

Shebakoby wrote:
This one sounds crazy and possibly passive-aggressive.


But minorly entertaining, though I might think otherwise if I had to work with her on an ongoing basis....and didn't have this annoying concern for her pregnant/worried situation....Do they have a pill to get rid of a conscience? I like being antisocial :evil: (we need a smilie for a light sigh)


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