How does someone with issues/problems find somone?

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One of my friends has been joking that I should go to a mental-ward to find women or a homeless shelter We don't have anything like that here thou. I wish we did cuz I'd volunteer. I would NOT do it to find someone thou; I'd do it because I have nothing going on in my life rite now & it'll be a good way to get me out of the house & be more social. I mite could make friends & the experience mite could help me get a job or something. I do NOT want to take advantage or manipulate anyone.
I know someone a few years ago who was codependent & he talked about how he used to go to a support group for it but there's none here. I looked at some online codependent support groups but some of my advice would go against there theories/methods. One of their top rules is that you should not start a relationship while your in treatment. If I listen to so-called "experts" I'd spend the rest of my life feeling alone & isolated because I can not conform to the so-called norm

I hope you will consider FIGHTING tooth and nail against those negative traits you find in yourself and are attracted to in others. It has been my experience that each one of those negative traits is like a relationship cancer. The relationship has NO CHANCE at being healthy and productive with ONE of those traits. It has also been my experience that those relationship cancers seem to run in packs and are often good bedfellows. Get HELP... Start by BEING SINGLE and growing as a single person. Get professional help while ur single.

If you are extremely attractive, this advice will be harder to see through because you will have more opportunities to fall back into the "Jerry Springer" relationship world before you are ready for a healthy relationship situation.

Finding someone else with CANCER sounds like a good idea because they can relate to you but in a relationship, these relational cancers are certain DEATH to your relationship hopes and dreams. FIGHT, FIGHT FIGHT... Until you win or die... Don't give up and Don't give in!!

That's a very true and interesting observation. I feel blessed to be so woman repellent.

Nick this does not make you a bad person and more than a person with cancer is a bad person because of their cancer. You are just extremely unhealthy. Finding someone else who is also unhealthy is not your answer. Singleness will make you much happier than trying to limp your way through unhealthy relationships. When ur healthy u will be attracted to other health people. GET HEALTHY FIRST. I wish you the best.

I do not like the cancer analogy & I do not agree with advice. Are you saying that cancer patients should not be in relationships Some cancers are not curable & it's like that with some of my issues. I spent the last 7 years being single trying to work on my issues & the 1st 5 of those years were with spent taking meds & seeing psychs/docs. I've made more improvement the 1st 6 months after I quit seeing psychs & taking meds than I did in those 5 years. The quacks & meds made my issues worse NOT better & the meds caused some long-term problems for me.
It's been my experience that I'm better with someone who also has issuers because we can both support & help each other out. I do not consider all my issues bad qualities; I think some of em are actually good with the rite kind of partner who could appropriate em. Lots of people have problems & it f#cking sux that I have to be perfect in order for anyone to give me half a chance. No one is perfect & I HATE the negative judgmental attitude towards this stuff

Umm...uhh... wrong.

Congrats nick, now you have a new nickname: The Cancer Boy!

umm....I notice that such girls are easy preys and hence already taken, usually by confident and with no-esteem issue guy =). In fact, those girls themselves seek guys with high confidence and self-esteem to "level-up" themselves =) , low self-esteem guys don't have this option.

That's what I don't understand. I have confidence issues & stuff but I prefer women who have the similar issues; so it seems to me like women would want a guy who's similar to em but they don't

If you have a therapist, ask them if they have any clients meeting your criteria. Or check yourself into a [co-ed] mental hospital and go play the field. (sort of kidding, unless you're determined...). AJ Soprano found success doing that, and there's a movie with the Hangover guy where a kid found a girl he liked in there too.

Other than that, I can't think of any ways for you to meet a girl who will quickly tell you about her "issues" that does not involve the internet.

I quit seeing docs & all 2 years ago. Are you talking about the movie "It's Kind of a Funny Story" They didn't show it here. I've actually thought about checking myself into a hospital before years ago for stuff but I don't have much money. The health care system in my are is atrocious. I could not qualify for free mental help 7 years ago rite after I slashed myself because I was not considered an immediate threat to myself or others since it was not a suicide attempt.. I was a member of a bipolar support group here years ago but we shut down because of lack of members. I think a lot of my problems are because I was born with physical disabilities that no one understood or knew about when I was little & that plus my AS issues caused my mental. I find lots of people judge me as a worthless loser because I do not have my $h!t together in life. I turn 28 next Tuesday & I'm still living with my parents & am unemployed. People think I'm a lazy welfare leech because of that even thou I've been trying to find a job for the last two years with no luck. I do have lots of good qualities but I have little to offer a person who is independent. I think the stigma of having problems is just as bad if not worse than having the problems themselves sometimes. My good qualities would be much more appealing to someone who also has problems but lots of people with problems also want someone who's independent even thou they are not themselves. I do NOT believe I'm a horrible person but when it comes to relationships people assume I am because I got a cr@p deal from life

as long as you don't direct the insecurity and dependence onto your partner, you should find someone who will love your quirks.

Could you explain what you mean by onto my partner? I've been diagnosed as being codependent & I do think I have some symptoms of it but I don't agree with the diagnoses. Codependents help others for selfish rezones because they want to trick/manipulate the other person into liking em. They also have a tendency to sabotage the other person when that person starts making a lot of progress because the codependent is worried that the other person will leave em. I am NOT like that. I help people because I feel bad & I'd want what's best for my partner even if it's not with me. I'd rather be alone than with someone who's better off without me. If I'm worried that my partner will leave me because of my dependency; I try taking steps to improve myself to be less dependent & I have lots of conversations with my partner about it all. I may be a burden because of my problems but I do everything I can to try & better myself & to take care of my partner because I care about em

Yeah, that's the movie I was thinking of. I can never remember the name. It sounds like you're up sh!t's creek in terms of progression where you are. No support group, no medical help, no job prospects, and judgmental peers. That really sucks. I think it's horrible you couldn't get help for slashing; a suicide attempt could be prevented if a cry for help is answered...duh have logic, docs...things like that really grind my gears...

Are the jobs in your area scarce? If so, that could give you an excuse to move to a different location, maybe one with more chances to meet people (that you're interested in). That or if you have no degree, you could go to a technical school, learn a trade, and get career assistance there. There's aid for that. I mean you're an adult, you're broke, what do you have to lose? Also it's a good way to be away from the people who say negative things about you; that can't help self esteem at all .

And try to be positive! Don't pay too much attention to the negatives, try to think positively and things will turn around for you. Life is what you make it after-all.

I'd like to move to another area but don't have the money or independence skills to rite now. I'd be willing to relocate most anywhere if I found someone & things got serious. Trade school wouldn't work for me because of my bad vision & motor-skills. The trades here for things related to offshore like mechanics, welding, truck-driving ect. Louisianian's been having lots of financial problems & our republican governor is planning on running for president in 2012 so he's been slashing all the social services partially health-care & education so he can afford to give tax-breaks to the rich corporations. When Bobby Jindal is not doing that; he's in other states campaigning instead of trying to fix things in Louisiana. He's a Bush wannabe
I'm not sure another state would be that much better for me thou because I've chatted with lots of people in other states who have physical or mental disabilities & they have a very hard time finding jobs & relationships as well

You need to realise people don't have to be similar to be compatible, and vice versa. Many people have said this to tim tex in the past, don't simply look for a carbon copy of yourself.

Also girls with issues like that wont want a guy with issues because he issues will make her as picky as possible.

You said in the past that you like girls who aren't very intelligent. I'm just wondering how high your standards are.. i've known slow people who aren't shallow at all when it comes to choosing a date..

Now don't take this the wrong way but have you tried dating someone with learning problems?

I don't really have standards; I mostly want to find someone e who will actually want to be with me.
My ex had learning problems; Dyslexia & sever ADHD. I have those diagnoses sense I started school; it's possible that some of it could of been related to my AS or other issues but I could relate to that. She had some OCD issues as well & we really connected I think because we were kind of on a similar level. Lots of people would consider that stuff to be problems but I didn't see it that way. It did cause problems at times but I did not really consider it a problem. When I say issues/problems that's what I'm talking about here; things typical people consider problems