ideas as to how to run away from home

Post Reply New Topic

First of all, yes I'm 26. Legally I am an adult who could leave my parents whenever I want.

However I am convinced that they would still try to report me as a missing person or try to find some means of tracking me down.

And it is much difficult for me because I am financially dependent of them. I dont own a single car to my name...my cell phone and internet service is under a family plan and I have less than $100 in my checking account.

I want to be able to make it so I can not be tracked down.

As to why I'm running away...well that would require five pages of explanation. I will however be extremely mad if they tried to send a search out for me as a missing person and make the case that I am autistic. That would be a big F U to the way they treated me ever since I got diagnosed...because they never cared. They cant accept the fact that I have disabilities and dont wanna waste the money on getting me treated for them.

I do plan on cleaning house in my computers, making sure everything is out and I only take what really matters to me.

This is not something I plan to do right away (I'm waiting for a little bit of money to come in) though if things at home keep up the way they are I may have to work faster to leave.

I dont have any places to go or stay. That doesnt really bother me though. The point is to never be around people. People dont like me anyway.

The only thing I plan to do while running away is either to write a book or wait around to die. I know chances are likely for the latter to happen. But that shows you how little I care.

Well it's up to you I guess but I think a lot of people on here would appreciate it if you gave us that 5 page explanation first. Tell us whats up.

_________________
<Insert meaningful signature here>

You need to earn some money first. Sounds like your plan won't work until you become financially independent.

My dad would never let me go on disability...he's a bleeping Democrat-hating Libertarian!

My inability to get a job is the big factor in running away.

If I had to die or starvation or something because of lack of funds, then so be it.

Honestly at this point, I dont even care.

It is important that you run to rather than away. Cutting all ties is not wise on many levels, and it makes you look unstable, giving your parents more fuel.
Here are some ideas:
1. Start with one of your states career centers or the rehabilitation agency. Ask also about such things as food stamps and training. You will especially benifit from training on how to interview.
2. Develop some skills that you can market. This will depend on your own abilities and disabilities.
3. If you have to, go to a shelter. While they can be rough, some provide rehabilitation and training.
4. Contact a member of the clergy. If you have trouble accepting "god talk" you could try something like a UU church.
5. Make a contract to "run away" for a set period of time. This will show your parents you are capable, and they will not panic.
6. Consider "visiting" a relative. It sounds like you need some distance. You could talk to them when you are visiting about your quandry.
7. Look up "6 hats". Get someone to help you and go through various ideas with this system. It is very helpful for some people.
8. Consider that your condition has genetic components, and that your father is probably a lot like you. He is running away from the idea of a disability and you are running away from home. He may also be hiding that he is not very good at managing money (common in AS) and is embarressed to admit he doesn't have the money to spend on you.
9. If you can't file for disability on your own (in spite of Dad), then perhaps you are not ready to leave home.
10. Until you can face your parents and just say it is time to leave, and treat them like other adults, you will find that grief will mess up and distort so many things that you try. (Also known as "If you can't say goodbye - you can't say Hello) We grieve for things we dislike as well as those we like.

Good luck

Do you have a relative or friend who might harbor you till you can get set up?

I highly, highly doubt we aspies can survive as "gutterpunks" on the street. If you don't know what a gutterpunk is, come visit the Haight-Ashbury in San Francisco.

Anyways - I would find a way to get onto SSI. Granted, it's chump change and I hate being Obama's b***h(yes, I'm on it and it's a thorn on my side as I would LOVE to get a job). Call up Social Security or the local county welfare office. But then again, you'll need someway to correspond with them. PO boxes are a good idea. My mom pretty much forced me to be on SSI for as long as I'm in school and I HATE it. I'm too young to live on a "fixed" income.

My mom's a little bit of a toxic influence - think of her as the Asian Estelle Costanza from Seinfeld. Luckily, I can play the NT card quite well and I have few issues holding jobs - I've worked from 18-24. I plan on moving out once I have a decent job after 1 year of graduating.

Do you have other family members or friends you might could stay with for a while OP It would be better to have some place to go instead of simply running away. If not having a job is a big factor; maybe you could stay with someone who lives in a different town/city where the job opportunities might be different. If you get on SSI or something; some job finding services like the state Rehabilitation Services might be more willing to help you find a job. I don't see why your dad would have a problem,with you getting help in looking for a job because working would make you more independent & responsible & if he's a Libertarian he might be OK with you getting help from non-government things like private charities because they aren't funded by taxes or the government. I'm really sorry your having problems OP. When I was about 20 I was at a point in my life when I was ready to run away as well because I had been looking for a job for a long time but unable to get one & my family was on my case a lot. Something happened & I didn't end up running(complicated story) but looking back I'm really glad I didn't run away. If you need/want to talk; your welcome to PM me. Maybe having someone to talk to about things would help.

OP im in the same boat except i want to leave and just die.

I would go on SSI in a heartbeat if it were that simple but I wouldnt know where to start.

But I fear there would be too many loopholes to keep me unqualified.

It's almost like how the workplace works. The more educated you are the more rejected you are. I fear they would wonder what the heck a person with two college degrees is doing trying to apply for disability. And the last couple of jobs I had I was fired for committing violations. Though nothing criminal, both my criminal and traffic records are clean...for now anyway.

Another loophole: my only official diagnosis (that I have medical proof of) is my AS. Which we all know is a debatable in getting disability. Though sometimes i have to question if it is AS or another form of HFA. I also question to myself whether or not I may possible have severe social anxiety or ADHD. I have been treated for depression in the past but it was poorly supervised treatment. The way my parents are if I really do have social anxiety or another form of HFA, it'll never get diagnosed cause of their views on therapy.

But I recently got a bad grade for my entire externship program which got me thinking seriously. I probably would've been fired from that externship if the school hadnt send me there to work for free. I was on the phone all the time but I had a lot of difficulties communicating on the phone with people whenever it's a situation I wasnt taught to handle (about pretty much all the time). My supervisors didnt really teach me at all. They never taught me what to do if this or that happened and then they got on me when I was sending the problem back to them because I didnt know what to do.

And then whenever I was in the break room taking my break I felt 'harrassed' by other coworkers. I know they just want to talk to me at all but it feels like torture whenever people do talk to me and the torture just intensifies when they must get on me for how quiet I am. I know this one coworker he was just being friendly but god I'm my last day of work he was torturing me with questions like "well how do I get through to you? Do you just not have an easy time talking to people?" Those kinds of questions.

I cant even answer them because it takes a long time to rack up the answer in my brain.

To think is there any way I could deal with this kind of social stress even if I was in a paying job? I dunno if I could handle this mental torture. You know one of the places I got fired from was because of my social anxiety to talk to a random stranger on the phone and tell them I was too sick to come into work.

This is the kind of stuff my parents dont understand and think I'm just making excuses for myself for. To make it even more hypocritical of them...they're entrepeneurs. They arent judge by other people for their poor level of social skills because they run their own business. Though technically my dad is unemployed...yes unemployed. Granted he is technically at a retirable age but he doesnt have the money for that. My mom and aunt currently run a Beauty Supply together. It's our family's only current means of income right now.

Sorry I didnt mean to rant, I just wanted to give you guys a glimpse of my situation. Had a good fight with the parents last night accusing me of not trying hard enough and my mom getting on me about my eye contact like she has for the past 26 years. Seriously I bet none of this stuff would've never been an issue if they had just let me see someone who would've helped me with my impairments but they didnt want to waste money on that. They gave me zero support when I was in therapy and on meds and my mom was constanty badgering me to tell her what I told the doctor...which is a violation of patient-doctor confidentiality.

Thank god I reached the point in my life where I can see my parents for the psychopaths they really are.

I can see where you are coming from but I do agree perhaps explain to us what is going on also as you are over 18 then you are legally an adult but clearly there are issues with your parents. I would reccomend going on disability payments I am and it was them that enables me to be independent financially. Maybe try talking to your parents but as someone else said without the full sotry it is tough to give advice.

As you are already an adult so you have the option of seeking gov. assistance. SSI is first step. As others said, get a lawyer to help you on that. You can also check with local social workers to see if theres any program you can be fit in.

You can also try and do some light volunteer work with institutions like churches or salvation army and such... those places could help you in return with options you may have not considered.

Like, I remember reading some time ago there was a network of housing rentals where people 'paid' rent by being the caretaker of the home other people rented. Aka a 5 bedroom home would have 1 of the renters live there for free as long as that 1 person did all the household work, cleaning and cooked 1 meal a day for the rest.