Bataar wrote:
I was just thinking about this the other day. Knowing my faults and other circumstances beyond my control, I don't think I'd be able to even start or maintain a relationship with a woman I'd want to date. That leaves the possibility women who would date me as someone I wouldn't want to date. In order for a woman to want to date me, she'd have to have quite a bit wrong with her in order for her not to be able to attract someone better or make it work with them.
First, you're selling yourself short. Next, you're putting your imaginary future girlfriend on a pedestal (that dooms a relationship to fail more than any personality flaws or inconsistencies will ever do). Finally, you're way over-thinking this.
If the person you want to date wouldn't ever date you, you've already set your standards too low. The first standard for a potential partner is that they want to be with you. This is what makes a relationship work more than a mutual interest in the number of times a single stormtrooper dies in Millennium Falcon boarding scene on Tatooine during A New Hope thanks to bad editing. Both of you must have a mutual interest in each other and the relationship that you're building.
I understand that you don't choose to be you and are forced to spend every minute with you, therefore your self-loathing arouses the natural question of why another human, who has a choice in the matter, would spend time with you. You will now have to understand that the mental illness would not be with the one who wants to be with you, but only with you. Your lack of self-worth will damage relationships for your entire life if you continue to devalue yourself in such a way. Trust me, you're good enough for self-esteem.