Being called sweetie, sweetheart, baby, etc. by strangers

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Sometimes I feel like strangers are using those terms with me like I'm a child. I think it's because I'm generally worried and not engaged so they think I'm slow or way younger than I am. P.S. I don't live in the South and it's not common here.

I hate when other women speak to me in a "motherly" way. I don't like men calling me any pet-names, either.

The only pet-name I'll allow is from my partner and that is either "hun" or "hunny".

I hate it when 50+ ghetto dudes call me that while I'm waiting on the bus. I am black btw so that's not racist. Other people I don't even notice because I feel like they're just treating me all cutesy like. I have a pixie face and even though I am 5'9" I gets lots of "cutesy" flattering. People still tell me I look 5 yrs. younger than I am.

As much as I try to ignore the cat calling by most people whom have no idea I have Aspergers. It does become a bit much when your constantly getting attention by men or boys whom are twice your age or younger. Besides having that experience happen to you by a perverted relative or a husband of a landlord. *True story* There is news for those whom aren't familiar with neurology science behind the laws of attraction. I have this book by former M.D. Dr. Daniel Amen and he talks about this topic and reinvented the phrase "Love at first sniff", as well as the chemicals that are responsible for seeking a potential mate. I rarely put on perfumes and doll up whenever I go out for a while. And yet I still get attention. It's the strangest thing, I almost in all scenarios would mistake this behavior for sexual-harassment in a public setting if said person isn't even pursuing onto me or trying to persuade me in to something. Still that doesn't sugar-coat all that excusable behavior we'll run into sooner or later.

I have been called those things by people and it's never bothered me. But sometimes I feel it's condescending because it feels like they are talking down to me like I am a child or something. Sometimes it's used as sarcasm and if someone is normally mean to you and then they call you hun or sweetheart, they are probably being sarcastic. But the ones I never had problems with, I give them a benefit of the doubt and assume they mean no harm by it.

In the south of the US Like OK and below, I am think at times this may be code for "you're an idiot." or an attempt to trivialize a person like a child. With a positive spin, it may indicate a maternal affection (eg: like a waitress calling you hun). However this is really dependent on the person saying it I think, I have known a couple southern women who just say "Hun" or "sweetie" to EVERYONE regardless. It seems to be more maliciously used when women are getting ready to gossip about one another.

However I am fairly certain that the the phrase "Bless you're heart." definitely means "You're a victim of your own idiocy."

I don't really care, unless I feel like they mean some sort of offense........but I haven't really run into that. Typically it does not seem much different then me referring to people as dude.

I find it irritating, but I don't take it personally. I live out in the sticks, so it's pretty common out here. I'd much rather be called "hon" than have a complete stranger address me by my first name. I know it's a sales technique to establish rapport, but it feels incredibly invasive and I grit my teeth every time a customer addresses me as such.

Where I live it's still common for people I don't even know to call me "dear", or "sweetheart", and usually it's by other women who work in the stores and coffee shops. For example I might ask someone in a store to help me get something off a shelf and they'll say "No problem, sweetheart, just wait a second". They're just saying it to be friendly, it's not a come-on or anything. But some people who aren't from around here find it creepy or sexual. A few years ago some jerk from Halifax wrote to the paper and raised a huge stink about it!
However, if a bunch of guys (around my age, not older men) kept calling me all those things I might get uncomfortable. But it'd not likely I ever will since most guys are very indifferent to me. And vice versa.

I've been leered at,minorily harrased and gotten unwanted attention;I try to not let it affect me majorly since its not my fault in any way and I dont believe in victimization. you have to realize that no matter how strong you are or seem to be there will always be 'thos types of men/ppl' and you have to learn how to stand up for yourself. The only time its ever gotten physical was when I ended up kicking the guy pretty hard b/c apparently he hadnt gotten the message *dont mess w me *you're behaviour is unwarranted and completely disrespectful to me as a human being. DONT BLAME YOURSELF IF IT HAPPENS.

I LOVE being called ''love'', ''darling'' and other sweet names by bus-drivers and I liked it when they wink. But unfortunately some time last year some miserable b***h reported a bus-driver just for calling her ''love'', and since then it seems that all the bus-drivers in the country have somehow picked up the message because since then no bus-drivers have called me any names like that nor winked or anything.

UGH I hate when people call me names.
This one man who always comes into my work says to me "hello, beautiful. Working hard today?" NO SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW ME. YOU DON'T GET TO CALL ME PET NAMES. Plus you are like twice my age and that is very inappropriate. He came in the other day and I tried to give him a disapproving look but it probably was either harmless or much worse. I am never sure what my face looks like.

And when woman call me "baby" or "hun" ect ect I think it is very condescending.
People should just call me by my name. Ah, but I don't want them to know my name. They should just call me "young lady" or "the short girl with the long brown hair". Yeah that would be good.
They should also stop looking at me all the time.

I also dislike it when random people do this. I kind of like it when my husband does, though.

Hi, hon.

Seriously though, I'm 59 and I still get the terms of endearment from strangers in customer service situations like cashiers, receptionists, on the phone service agents,
and even nurses at doctors offices. I've been getting it all my life.

I think it might be because I have naturally light blonde hair. This comes with very pale skin (not dry, so not a lot of wrinkles), as well as light blue eyes, that are kind of round like babies' eyes. I also appear to have no eyebrows because of my light blonde hair doesn't show up very well on my pale skin. This all combines to give me a permanent look of mild surprise and helplessness. I now see that it may also include an unconscious perception of me as an awkward autistic person

Because of this, I came to terms with being called "hon" and "sweetie" a long time ago. I thought it would stop as I aged, but no luck there. The weird thing is that, because of my age and upbringing, I have accidentally started calling people "hon", too, especially if the addressee is younger than me. I don't mean to do it. It just comes out.

At this point, it seems like control of an interaction in this kind situation has developed into a mild struggle for having the upper hand. It has weirdly become like whichever of us uses the nickname first is the "grownup". I appear to my interlocutors to be either a competent, mature adult just needing some direction or a "slow", helpless person who needs special guidance. This is a hyperbolic description, of course, but I think my meaning is clear.

It can be hard to get to the other person see me as adult when you they have already decided I need guidance rather than direction. I usually just start reflecting back to them my understanding of what they have said, only using more sophisticated language. Sometimes the other person gets it and sometimes they don't. In the latter situation, I just go with the flow and behave like they have already perceived me to be. I have to be careful though. If my interlocutor discovers too late they have perceived me incorrectly, they get embarrassed, and things can get awkward.

This has been a long response to a simple question, but I just wanted to share my experience of this phenomenon.

Hmm I've only been called that by older women. I didn't mind. People can call me anything they want and I'm pretty oblivious to their thoughts and feelings. Maybe I look severe because most strangers would call me "mam".