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tehloserprince
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24 Sep 2011, 12:11 am

How do y'all feel about going out to clubs and/or bars? I spent a lot of time doing this when I was in college, although I frequently had to step outside due to sensory overload. I'm 28 now, and I just........ I don't like going out. I don't feel like putting the effort into it. These places are loud, I feel like everyone is screaming at everyone else, and I'm honestly just bored to tears after 30 minutes in one place. Am I alone on this one? :?



SadAspy
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24 Sep 2011, 12:24 am

I used to do it in hopes of meeting women, but was rejected every time :(

I really hate doing it, and so I don't go anymore.



cathylynn
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24 Sep 2011, 12:51 am

haven't been in a bar for years except for chicken wings that are great at one place. met my husband at work. too likely that you'll meet an alcoholic at a bar.



lease29
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24 Sep 2011, 5:05 am

tehloserprince wrote:
How do y'all feel about going out to clubs and/or bars? I spent a lot of time doing this when I was in college, although I frequently had to step outside due to sensory overload. I'm 28 now, and I just........ I don't like going out. I don't feel like putting the effort into it. These places are loud, I feel like everyone is screaming at everyone else, and I'm honestly just bored to tears after 30 minutes in one place. Am I alone on this one? :?


I don't particularly like the bar/club scene and apart from a few Quiz nights with a few people I know I don't go to them. I am not a huge fan of them particularly due to the noise and also in regards to meeting men I find that has never worked for me I have only ever had one night stands. Also I am not a big drinker and prefer to drink at home. Have been there and done that really.

I would go for a few quiets but I very rarely go to bars and clubs and would never go on my own only in the company of people. It is not my scene :-)



anneurysm
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24 Sep 2011, 9:39 pm

Clubs and bars are usually boring. Usually the music sucks and is way too loud, and there are gropy guys all over the place trying to hit on me. Now, if there's a concert going on with good music, I actually have fun. :)


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DeanAdamFry
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25 Sep 2011, 7:54 am

Yeah I don't go to nightclubs/busy pubs, its just a plain boring place for boring people who have nothing else in life to do.

I mean honestly why would I hang out in a nightclub with a bunch of random men/women with shitty music and only alcoholic drinks up for sale when I could just invite a friend or two over to my house, watch a movie or play games and order a pizza/ get any drink we want? I think people just go to these bars because they are either peer pressured or they have nothing better to do in life and hope drinking with a couple of mates will make it go away.

At the end of the day, I would rather save up money to go on a 2 - 3 week holiday once a year rather than go to a pub/nightclub every friday/saturday night.



AngelKnight
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25 Sep 2011, 4:05 pm

Clubs are loud, and sound can be overwhelming for me. My solution? Ear plugs.

This worked better when I had long hair that could obscure them. My hearing remaining intact means more than other peoples' minor asthetics.



CosmicRuss
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25 Sep 2011, 4:09 pm

I used to go out quite often albeit reluctantly and not really enjoying the experience too much.
I last 'went out' about 10 years ago and have survived. :)



KathySilverstein
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26 Sep 2011, 2:19 am

No way.....Sensory overload in less than 30 seconds. I've never set foot in one, except one time when I needed quarters for my laundry,and nothing else was open. Never again!! !! ! Loud is an understatement.


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gtw1983
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26 Sep 2011, 2:56 pm

SadAspy wrote:
I used to do it in hopes of meeting women, but was rejected every time :(

I really hate doing it, and so I don't go anymore.


I think you're looking in the wrong place for starters.
Bars and clubs are generally where many NT people go for one night stands and Friend with Benefits type of flings.I'm thinking the favorite prowling grounds for loud college frat boys is not the ideal environment an Aspie would find a good partner.Now I might try to improve my overall social skills by going to a club and just trying to chat up random people (guys and girls) without looking for a relationship.Think of it as training if you will.If you can become even the least bit comfortable chatting to people in that environment,it might make your everyday life easier.


But as for me I'm a Nerd aspie :P ,therefore for a relationship I would put more of my time into venues that I both enjoy and are far more likely to have others like me.
Some examples being......

1: Fantasy role playing group
2: Gamer hangouts
3: Anime/Comic/Sci Fi Conventions
4: Bookstores

You get the general idea.I prefer the geeky kind of girls that would be at these kind of places anyways.The diva's usually have looks going for them but not much anything else.



Thom_Fuleri
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26 Sep 2011, 5:12 pm

tehloserprince wrote:
How do y'all feel about going out to clubs and/or bars? I spent a lot of time doing this when I was in college, although I frequently had to step outside due to sensory overload. I'm 28 now, and I just........ I don't like going out. I don't feel like putting the effort into it. These places are loud, I feel like everyone is screaming at everyone else, and I'm honestly just bored to tears after 30 minutes in one place. Am I alone on this one? :?


Always hated these places. I don't understand how they're supposed to be social - you can't hear anyone speak, you can barely see them and everyone gets so off their faces that they have no idea what they're doing anyway. I had a spate of pub/clubbing when I was a student because it was the only way I knew to meet people, but I tended to go on quieter evenings.

The sensory overload wasn't too much of a hassle for me - if I'm expecting it, I can adjust to it. I do the same for other senses - I used to hate showers and I still hate brushing my teeth, but if I'm prepared for stuff like loud clubs then I can cope easily. It's not the volume but the sudden change - when there's a loud background noise going on for some time, you get used to it.



tcorrielus
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01 Oct 2011, 11:23 am

How the hell would a man be able to find and meet new girls at bars and clubs? What if those girls have boyfriends that will attack anyone guys that socialize with them?



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