Why does sexual attraction have anything to do with dating?



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Do you have to be sexually attracted to someone to date him/her/it?
Yes 67%  67%  [ 41 ]
No 23%  23%  [ 14 ]
Depends/Don't know 10%  10%  [ 6 ]
Total votes : 61

diniesaur
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08 Oct 2011, 8:27 pm

I don't understand. I would date people even if they weren't sexually attractive to me. I hear that sexual attraction is very important to most people when they consider dating a person. Why is it like that?



Fnord
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08 Oct 2011, 8:33 pm

"Dating" seems to involve getting to know a person with the possible goal of forming a committed partnership (a.k.a., "Marriage").

Otherwise, you may just as well "Go out" or "Hang out" with someone for no particular reason.


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sacrip
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08 Oct 2011, 8:40 pm

So, what does a 'date' mean to you then? It's not simply a friendly outing, it's time spent with someone of the opposite gender (or same, if you're homosexual) that has potential of a romantic or sexual nature. I won't say you HAVE to be sexually attracted to your date, but if there isn't SOME sort of physical or romantic interest on your part, then you're NOT on a date, you're just having dinner with some person.


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Magnus_Rex
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08 Oct 2011, 8:40 pm

Because it would be friendship if it didn't involve sex.



Fnord
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08 Oct 2011, 8:46 pm

sacrip wrote:
So, what does a 'date' mean to you then? It's not simply a friendly outing, it's time spent with someone of the opposite gender (or same, if you're homosexual) that has potential of a romantic or sexual nature. I won't say you HAVE to be sexually attracted to your date, but if there isn't SOME sort of physical or romantic interest on your part, then you're NOT on a date, you're just having dinner with some person.

Physical, sexual, romantic ... it's all they same, really. "Romance" is just a fancy word for "Let's deny our physical desires as long as possible, and focus on poetry, artistry, etiquette, and other similar activities until we finally consummate our relationship with an earth-shaking marathon session of intense coital activity ... and then maybe get married." Thus, "dating" is just another "romantic" activity.

"Getting Physical" is just a euphemism for the old "Booma-Booma-Ya-Ya!"

If really you are interested in a person as "Just a Friend", then either you are already in a committed sex-based relationship, or you've lost all interest in sex (at least with that person).


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hyperlexian
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08 Oct 2011, 8:49 pm

Fnord wrote:
"Getting Physical" is just a euphemism for the old "Booma-Booma-Ya-Ya!"

maybe to you, but not to everyone. there are other beautiful connections people can have besides physical/sexual.


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08 Oct 2011, 8:50 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Fnord wrote:
"Getting Physical" is just a euphemism for the old "Booma-Booma-Ya-Ya!"
maybe to you, but not to everyone. there are other beautiful connections people can have besides physical/sexual.

Well, then ... what does "Getting Physical" with a man mean to you?


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hyperlexian
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08 Oct 2011, 8:52 pm

Fnord wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Fnord wrote:
"Getting Physical" is just a euphemism for the old "Booma-Booma-Ya-Ya!"
maybe to you, but not to everyone. there are other beautiful connections people can have besides physical/sexual.

Well, then ... what does "Getting Physical" with a man mean to you?

oooops i meant to quote the top part of what you said:

Fnord wrote:
Physical, sexual, romantic ... it's all they same, really.


:oops:


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MountZion
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08 Oct 2011, 9:00 pm

If I am dating a girl with a view to something more, chances are I am sexually attracted to her. I can hang out with a girl I'm not sexually attracted to but if I'm considering a girl to date, that attraction has to be there. I'm sorry if that sounds shallow, and I'm not too discriminating about what kind of girls I'm sexually attracted to (it's broad), but it stands.


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Fnord
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08 Oct 2011, 9:02 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Fnord wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Fnord wrote:
"Getting Physical" is just a euphemism for the old "Booma-Booma-Ya-Ya!"
maybe to you, but not to everyone. there are other beautiful connections people can have besides physical/sexual.

Well, then ... what does "Getting Physical" with a man mean to you?

oooops i meant to quote the top part of what you said:

Fnord wrote:
Physical, sexual, romantic ... it's all they same, really.


:oops:

Ahh ... in that case, I agree. I connect with women over music, technology, literature ... but we don't "Date", "Go Out", or even "Hang Out" together. We just have a short discussion on topics of mutual interests when we happen to be in the same places at the same times.

With me, I guess it's either "Date & Do It" or make small talk - nothing in between.


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Jory
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08 Oct 2011, 9:10 pm

Nothing. I'm just in it for the coffee, food, and movies.



hyperlexian
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08 Oct 2011, 9:12 pm

MountZion wrote:
If I am dating a girl with a view to something more, chances are I am sexually attracted to her. I can hang out with a girl I'm not sexually attracted to but if I'm considering a girl to date, that attraction has to be there. I'm sorry if that sounds shallow, and I'm not too discriminating about what kind of girls I'm sexually attracted to (it's broad), but it stands.

i am the same way, sort of. these days, i would not date someone i am not sexually attracted to either. the sexual attraction is just one part of a whole package, but if it is missing it's a no-go. i say "sort of" because i used to date people for other reasons, but that was a long time ago.

i happen to also feel romance of a sort. i thought i didn't but i was wrong. i think it is person-specific, if that makes any sense.


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nick007
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08 Oct 2011, 9:31 pm

Sexual attraction is unimportant to me but I'm kind of on the asexuality spectrum; I'm not even sure if I really get sexual attraction. Friendship is a major part of a relationship for me but there is a lot more to it than that without sexual attraction; like loving her, being affectionate with her, sharing a bond/connection with her ect


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hale_bopp
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09 Oct 2011, 12:49 am

Yes... that's the point of dating. Otherwise that's what friends are for.


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CrinklyCrustacean
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09 Oct 2011, 5:00 am

diniesaur wrote:
I don't understand. I would date people even if they weren't sexually attractive to me. I hear that sexual attraction is very important to most people when they consider dating a person. Why is it like that?

For me the process is this: you ask someone whether they want to go out with you, and if they say yes, you are boyfriend and girlfriend. Any one-to-one meetups after that are dates.



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