How late is 'too late' to get started with a relationship?

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Diningroom
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24 Apr 2015, 6:56 pm

sly279 wrote:
BTDT wrote:

A steady job is a good sign for a relationship because it indicates adequate communication skills. If you constantly get canned from jobs, how are you going to handle a relationship?


unless that guy is a self observed naracsitic as*hole.

I've never been fired from a job. the one I have keeps bringing me back again and again. landing a job is so near impossible here unless you know the boss. which is how I got my current seasonal job. and how most everyone there got it too.


Alternatively, you can simply be very good at what you do. I had zero connections coming out of college/grad school but my (iffy) social/communication skills are offset by my mathematical modeling skills. Many of my quant colleagues are Aspies too.

Investment banking is remarkably autism-friendly... due to empirical performance measurement. (Ditto for academia and, oddly, exploration geology -- what my closest friends, also Aspies-or-pretty-close-to-it's, do).



BTDT
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24 Apr 2015, 7:57 pm

Diningroom wrote:

Alternatively, you can simply be very good at what you do. I had zero connections coming out of college/grad school but my (iffy) social/communication skills are offset by my mathematical modeling skills. Many of my quant colleagues are Aspies too.

Investment banking is remarkably autism-friendly... due to empirical performance measurement. (Ditto for academia and, oddly, exploration geology -- what my closest friends, also Aspies-or-pretty-close-to-it's, do).


You underestimate your skills. You understand what you boss wants. Not like that Adam fellow, who got canned for working on stuff that was for too expensive for the company to sell.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_%282009_film%29
mind-blindness cost him his job at a toy manufacturing company



Diningroom
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24 Apr 2015, 9:13 pm

BTDT wrote:
Diningroom wrote:

Alternatively, you can simply be very good at what you do. I had zero connections coming out of college/grad school but my (iffy) social/communication skills are offset by my mathematical modeling skills. Many of my quant colleagues are Aspies too.

Investment banking is remarkably autism-friendly... due to empirical performance measurement. (Ditto for academia and, oddly, exploration geology -- what my closest friends, also Aspies-or-pretty-close-to-it's, do).


You underestimate your skills. You understand what you boss wants. Not like that Adam fellow, who got canned for working on stuff that was for too expensive for the company to sell.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_%282009_film%29
mind-blindness cost him his job at a toy manufacturing company


Adam's a fictional character in a movie. And, to paraphrase Winston Churchill, doing your best is nowhere near enough if you can't be bothered to do what is actually required of you.

I don't think I'm underestimating my skills --
but I did chose a profession/position where what is expected of my is VERY clear.

The investment bank that employs me wants to make money, ergo my boss wants me to make money and provides me with quarterly monetary targets... period. However, I do not deal directly with clients. I do not assist in acquiring or wooing clients, ever.

Jobs at big investment banks require dealing directly with clients. I don't do clients. My skills are such that my employer was willing to hire me (and, to be fair, many of my colleagues) anyways, ie revise the responsibilities of the job to meet my needs versus simply hiring somebody else who would be willing to deal with clients.



beady
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24 Apr 2015, 9:53 pm

In any given year, there are typically more males born than females.
By age 25, the males have typically killed themselves off by war, accidents, whatever to reverse the odds.
Females have a longer lifespan so the odds are increasing in your favor each year.
Stay positive. Pursue your passions. Stop worrying about experience - most partners very much enjoy "teaching" the novices. Honestly! They are typically disease free! They are very open to suggestions and very eager to please! What more could you ask in a physical relationship? When you get to that first physical encounter - be honest! Ask questions!! The most experienced and successful lovers know that communication is the most important ingredient to success and never assume to know how to please a new person. Don't make excuses for who you are. Focus instead on finding the person who's lock fits your key. You won't find that person if you don't keep looking.



Gauldoth
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24 Apr 2015, 10:01 pm

BTDT wrote:
You underestimate your skills. You understand what you boss wants. Not like that Adam fellow, who got canned for working on stuff that was for too expensive for the company to sell.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_%282009_film%29
mind-blindness cost him his job at a toy manufacturing company


It's a fantasy flick. From the Wikipedia article:

"Beth Buchwald (Byrne), a school teacher and aspiring children's book writer, moves into the apartment above his and they strike up an awkward friendship. One night, Beth is shocked to find him trying to clean her apartment windows suspended from the roof of the building in a spacesuit.

Beth takes a liking to Adam despite his oddities. Adam hopes for a relationship, but the first attempts are uneasy due to his fear of social interaction. Eventually he breaks out of his beloved routines enough to be able to date Beth."


In the real world, she'd get a restraining order on him and he'd be forced to move out of his apartment. :roll:



sly279
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25 Apr 2015, 12:55 am

Diningroom wrote:
sly279 wrote:
BTDT wrote:

A steady job is a good sign for a relationship because it indicates adequate communication skills. If you constantly get canned from jobs, how are you going to handle a relationship?


unless that guy is a self observed naracsitic as*hole.

I've never been fired from a job. the one I have keeps bringing me back again and again. landing a job is so near impossible here unless you know the boss. which is how I got my current seasonal job. and how most everyone there got it too.


Alternatively, you can simply be very good at what you do. I had zero connections coming out of college/grad school but my (iffy) social/communication skills are offset by my mathematical modeling skills. Many of my quant colleagues are Aspies too.

Investment banking is remarkably autism-friendly... due to empirical performance measurement. (Ditto for academia and, oddly, exploration geology -- what my closest friends, also Aspies-or-pretty-close-to-it's, do).


unfortunately that whole all aspies are gifted is just another generalization. lots of us are just as plain as a lot of nts.

I have no gift. I am not good with tech. I can't play musical instruments, can't draw/paint/sculpt, such at math and writing, theres nothing I'm gifted at like a lot of other aspies. sure theres a bunch who are and thats what people and aspies assume is true for all. I wouldn't fit in at those places.this is the problem with all the places who want to hire aspies they are under the same false generalization. those those who aren't gifted it sucks and then we get the added suckiness of everyone saying and thinking we have some gift.

"oh he might struggle socially but I'm sure he'll make money via the gift, like that guy who painted all of ny or the one who plays the piano great." :roll:

though suppose its better then having a gift and only been seen as said gift and not a person. though you seem to be in the 3rd option.



hilaryy_renee_
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25 Apr 2015, 1:33 am

In all honesty, and this is just my own personal opinion, it is never too late. You are still young and still have plenty of time to find the right girl. When the moment is right, it'll happen. :D


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Diningroom
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25 Apr 2015, 10:25 am

sly279 wrote:
Diningroom wrote:
sly279 wrote:
BTDT wrote:

A steady job is a good sign for a relationship because it indicates adequate communication skills. If you constantly get canned from jobs, how are you going to handle a relationship?


unless that guy is a self observed naracsitic as*hole.

I've never been fired from a job. the one I have keeps bringing me back again and again. landing a job is so near impossible here unless you know the boss. which is how I got my current seasonal job. and how most everyone there got it too.


Alternatively, you can simply be very good at what you do. I had zero connections coming out of college/grad school but my (iffy) social/communication skills are offset by my mathematical modeling skills. Many of my quant colleagues are Aspies too.

Investment banking is remarkably autism-friendly... due to empirical performance measurement. (Ditto for academia and, oddly, exploration geology -- what my closest friends, also Aspies-or-pretty-close-to-it's, do).


unfortunately that whole all aspies are gifted is just another generalization. lots of us are just as plain as a lot of nts.

I have no gift. I am not good with tech. I can't play musical instruments, can't draw/paint/sculpt, such at math and writing, theres nothing I'm gifted at like a lot of other aspies. sure theres a bunch who are and thats what people and aspies assume is true for all. I wouldn't fit in at those places.this is the problem with all the places who want to hire aspies they are under the same false generalization. those those who aren't gifted it sucks and then we get the added suckiness of everyone saying and thinking we have some gift.

"oh he might struggle socially but I'm sure he'll make money via the gift, like that guy who painted all of ny or the one who plays the piano great." :roll:

though suppose its better then having a gift and only been seen as said gift and not a person. though you seem to be in the 3rd option.


Ummm, I'm not gifted. Nor are most of my Aspie colleagues. Gifted implies some sort of innate, incredible, out-of-nowhere-in-a-little-kid like a Jay Greenberg or a Joshua Bell.

I'm pretty smart, work hard and mostly take direction well. Fell into investment banking because I was d.o.n.e after a year of grad school and, ummm, it is kind of fun.



darkphantomx1
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25 Apr 2015, 10:53 am

25? haha

Подождите и получить девушку, когда вы старше. Это никогда не слишком поздно, чтобы быть получение подругу.



WantToHaveALife
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25 Apr 2015, 12:40 pm

hilaryy_renee_ wrote:
In all honesty, and this is just my own personal opinion, it is never too late. You are still young and still have plenty of time to find the right girl. When the moment is right, it'll happen. :D


is it wrong that I feel women are much less prone than men are to being late bloomers in the dating/relationship game?



Diningroom
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25 Apr 2015, 2:18 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
hilaryy_renee_ wrote:
In all honesty, and this is just my own personal opinion, it is never too late. You are still young and still have plenty of time to find the right girl. When the moment is right, it'll happen. :D


is it wrong that I feel women are much less prone than men are to being late bloomers in the dating/relationship game?


Yes.



Gauldoth
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25 Apr 2015, 7:09 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
hilaryy_renee_ wrote:
In all honesty, and this is just my own personal opinion, it is never too late. You are still young and still have plenty of time to find the right girl. When the moment is right, it'll happen. :D


is it wrong that I feel women are much less prone than men are to being late bloomers in the dating/relationship game?


Nope, that's jus the plain and simple truth of the matter. Any girl can get sex and short-to-mid-term relationships any time they want.



Diningroom
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25 Apr 2015, 8:11 pm

Gauldoth wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
hilaryy_renee_ wrote:
In all honesty, and this is just my own personal opinion, it is never too late. You are still young and still have plenty of time to find the right girl. When the moment is right, it'll happen. :D


is it wrong that I feel women are much less prone than men are to being late bloomers in the dating/relationship game?


Nope, that's jus the plain and simple truth of the matter. Any girl can get sex and short-to-mid-term relationships any time they want.



Men can too. If a guy's willing to walk up enough girls in, say, a bar and say "wanna hook up, now?, willing to take 100s rejections, some girl will eventually say "yes". Not unlike the zillion monkeys with a zillion typewriters for a zillion years will eventually write "Hamlet".

Now that I think about it, there are slightly more women than men on the planet, a *shortage* of men, if you will, so it should be easier for men than women to find a relationship/hookup. (And that's when you're looking at the under-50s, before more men start dying younger than women!).



sorrowfairiewhisper
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25 Apr 2015, 8:15 pm

It's never too late.
I've had a few dates but I myself have never been In a relationship either.
I'm about to turn 25.

Don't worry about it.
It either happens or it doesn't.

It's better to wait till you find someone special, then have multiple failed relationships down the line.



Gauldoth
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25 Apr 2015, 8:18 pm

Diningroom wrote:
Gauldoth wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
hilaryy_renee_ wrote:
In all honesty, and this is just my own personal opinion, it is never too late. You are still young and still have plenty of time to find the right girl. When the moment is right, it'll happen. :D


is it wrong that I feel women are much less prone than men are to being late bloomers in the dating/relationship game?


Nope, that's jus the plain and simple truth of the matter. Any girl can get sex and short-to-mid-term relationships any time they want.



Men can too. If a guy's willing to walk up enough girls in, say, a bar and say "wanna hook up, now?, willing to take 100s rejections, some girl will eventually say "yes". Not unlike the zillion monkeys with a zillion typewriters for a zillion years will eventually write "Hamlet".

Now that I think about it, there are slightly more women than men on the planet, a *shortage* of men, if you will, so it should be easier for men than women to find a relationship/hookup. (And that's when you're looking at the under-50s, before more men start dying younger than women!).


True, but unfortunately it seems most women only view a small handful of top men as viable sex partners, and won't even look at lesser men until they're in need of a provider, and that's a role I'm not willing to fulfill.

This isn't a charity. I'm not running a flophouse for washed-up, failed Plain Janes here.



Diningroom
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26 Apr 2015, 9:21 am

Gauldoth wrote:
Diningroom wrote:
Gauldoth wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
hilaryy_renee_ wrote:
In all honesty, and this is just my own personal opinion, it is never too late. You are still young and still have plenty of time to find the right girl. When the moment is right, it'll happen. :D


is it wrong that I feel women are much less prone than men are to being late bloomers in the dating/relationship game?


Nope, that's jus the plain and simple truth of the matter. Any girl can get sex and short-to-mid-term relationships any time they want.



Men can too. If a guy's willing to walk up enough girls in, say, a bar and say "wanna hook up, now?, willing to take 100s rejections, some girl will eventually say "yes". Not unlike the zillion monkeys with a zillion typewriters for a zillion years will eventually write "Hamlet".

Now that I think about it, there are slightly more women than men on the planet, a *shortage* of men, if you will, so it should be easier for men than women to find a relationship/hookup. (And that's when you're looking at the under-50s, before more men start dying younger than women!).


True, but unfortunately it seems most women only view a small handful of top men as viable sex partners, and won't even look at lesser men until they're in need of a provider, and that's a role I'm not willing to fulfill.

This isn't a charity. I'm not running a flophouse for washed-up, failed Plain Janes here.


Your attitude probably goes a long way to explaining your lack of dates/girlfriends.

It makes me happy to think my fellow girls (Aspie and NT) have the sense to see Galudoth-esque guys for who they are and give them a wide berth.

Seriously. Who needs a broke dude with a massive chip on his shoulder? What positive contribution can such a dude make to the life of a financially stable, somewhat pretty girl?