Interesting. I have the opposite problem. I can't stand symmetry, but I need balance. I prefer patterns that appear at first to be random, but upon closer inspection reveal careful placement of random patterns and colors that create balance.
Maybe I should say that the balance isn't seen on close inspection, but rather stepping back enough to see the bigger picture.
Not sure what to tell you other than...
Let it go.
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I'm not likely to be around much longer. As before when I first signed up here years ago, I'm finding that after a long hiatus, and after only a few days back on here, I'm spending way too much time here again already. So I'm requesting my account be locked, banned or whatever. It's just time. Until then, well, I dunno...