NTs, which personality bothers you more

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Let me say first, this is all based on superficial perception of the person and how you might see the person, not what is inside.

Personality A: Perceived as cold, aloof, standoffish, maybe snobbish or shy. Keeps to themselves, doesnt really interact very much with other people. NTs perceive that this person chooses not to interact with people purposely.

Personality B: Outgoing yet very quirky, awkward and weird. This person makes strong attempts to interact with others yet NTs dont always like them. NTs might perceive them as a freak, weirdo and perhaps rather annoying.

NTs which personality bothers you more? I was just curious.

I hope you figured out what relation Im drawing this to.

Bumping this up to see if any NTs reply.

I am betting on Personality A because that sounds like me, and in my experience people are more bothered by aloofness. They will put up with a gregarious weirdo because that person is at least making the attempt to connect with people. But the quiet person is viewed with suspicion, they don't know what to make of it.

Let's see. I'm more Personality A. My ex is more Personality B. Based on the reactions of those around us, I'd say Personality B is more annoying.

It probably depends a lot on the person doing the perceiving.

Personality A is more annoying to me, because I know even less of what is going on in their minds than the mind of someone with Personality B, a less guarded person.

Now that's a convenient answer.

So that's why people don't like me.......because they don't know what goes on in my mind, I guess that explains why I got called a psychopath even though I am pretty far from that. But I never thought quiet could be annoying....I figured it was the opposite of annoying.

I would speculate it depends on the circumstances.It can often be difficult to determine if someone is shy or if they are aloof when you are just getting to know them .Many people used to think I was cold,standoffish or snobby but that was early on in the interaction .With further social exposure to me only then did they realize that I was what they percieved as shy [in reality it was my AS characterisitcs shining through ] . I think this is likely one reason people with AS struggle getting into relationships,they simply don't make good first impressions.By now I know that I can come across as weird but once people get to know me it's more like I am just eccentric.

Interesting. I was Personality A for a very long time. I was recovering from selective mutism, it never occurred to me to talk to people, I was a little bit insecure due to my lack of general knowledge and everyone saw me as a shy person. I don't think they held it against me and I have a hard time believing people like this personality less. I don't really like really outgoing people on the surface, even if I get along with them the best. I tend to like quiet people more, deep down. It's not really the mystery about them but because they are less likely to offend me or make a fool out of themselves and remind me of myself.

I would have to say I'm a balance between type A and B. Thank you, combined ADHD and perhaps my over medicated brain.


Annoying to me is someone who yaps on and on and just says whatever without considering that they probably don't know much about the subject to begin with.
A foolish man is wise when he doesn't speak.

I hate the so called alpha male. I do whatever I can to screw them over or to make them look foolish when I get a chance.

I don't know if that's why most people don't like Personality A. They probably have other reasons that are totally different from mine. I just feel less comfortable around Personality A, because I am totally blind to their minds due to them revealing very little about themselves. I am not talking about the natural autistic obliviousness to social interaction and quietness during social interaction when I am thinking of Personality A. My first thought was of the NT INTJ personality type, someone who knows what is going on during interactions. Almost everyone I know seems to have this personality, and it is very difficult for me to communicate with them in a genuine manner. I am far less guarded, because there are no social signals preventing me from being unguarded.

I started off as B, then became A for 25 years, as I struggled with severe anxiety and selective mutism. Then 6 years ago, I reverted back to type. This is me, love me or hate me, it's up to you. My daughter is B.

I'm not NT but I know that people seem to get more bothered by option B. At my first volunteer job, I promised myself I wouldn't be shy and that I would make out I'm confident. But after about a year or so, I found it didn't work. I said stupid things, I did stupid things, then when I was quiet people kept saying, ''you're quiet'', then when I joined in people gave my funny looks so I didn't quite know how to be. Then I got impressions that one or two of the women there were laughing at me and they were even trying to avoid me. They were very cliquey people too.

At my second volunteer job (the one I'm at now), I come across as a shy person, and so far it's worked. I've made some friends already, people are helpful to me, I get the impression that people like me, and nobody tries to avoid me. I don't act aloof though. I smile, make normal eye contact, put on a confident expression when I'm doing my work, I speak when I'm spoken to, I ask people things if I'm not sure about something, if someone asks me something I reply politely and help them out, and I try to make small talk when I can, but still act shy. And I feel that works the best for me. When I act shy, I can give myself more time to think of what to say and what to do, and I am really a shy person anyway so if I were to act all confident and a bit too sociable, I end up failing because I'm trying to be someone I'm not, and other people can sense it and get freaked out. At least I'm more good at being shy.

Neither of those personalities bother me. I have met many people over the years who fit one or the other of those personality types and we got along fine. They may or may not have been Aspie. There's no way to know.

The personality type that bothers me (because it scares me) is the unpredictable person. I once encountered a man (friend of a friend or something) who sat at a table with me and everything was fine. Then suddenly he stood up, swept his arm across the table so everything fell to the floor, and sat back down again and said "that needed doing". Some people would have confronted him. I got away from him and made sure that if I ever saw him in my peripheral vision at any point after that, I got away from him. It really scared me when he did that. It would have been far less scary if he had been ranting about the stuff on the table because then sweeping it to the floor would have been predictable, although angering.

He may or may not have had something found in the DSM. There's no way to know. I stay far away from anybody like that if I can. If I can't, I try to keep my interaction with them to the absolute minimum necessary.

I think NTs can be unpredictable too. My mate once got talking to a man who was a policeman (off duty obviously) at a nightclub. He was really sweet to her, really chatty, and was so interested in her. This girl is an extroverted NT aswell, and knows she attracts the right people, so she had some trust in him. But moments later she came over all ill, being sick and having the runs really bad, and almost became unconscious with dehydration, and the bouncers chucked her out because they thought she was just drunk, but she wasn't at all.

She found out that the bloke she was chatting to had put something in her drink. As soon as she got ill, he just got up and walked out.

Now that has frightened me with people. Not saying everyone's like it, but there are some weirdos out there. What the hell was this man thinking?

OK it might be slightly off-topic but unpredictable things happen and NTs can be weird too.

I'm NT and I would find Personality B more troublesome on the whole. As others have said, it depends on the individual concerned.

But I'm fairly quiet, so I am more drawn to people who are also quiet. And the type of person you describe as A can be very enigmatic and that in itself can be an attraction or an incentive to try to get through to them. I realise they don't mean to be enigmatic, they're just being themselves. But the effect still works.

Well at my volunteer job there is actually another Aspie there who is high-functioning like me but is extroverted (whereas I'm introverted). And I've found she gets on everyone's nerves and nobody likes her. She speaks her mind a bit too much, she says things she shouldn't, she butts in all the time, she has terrible mood swings what she wants everybody to know, and everybody talks about her behind her back. But they seem to like me a lot because I'm more quiet and serious and easy to get along with. I know people here would probably say, ''oh you might think that but they probably don't like you as much as they don't like her'', but I know that isn't true because I'm quite good at sensing if people like me or not, and I have also seen that they prefer to give me more of their time than they do with this woman. And I think she knows that too. Nobody sits and has their lunch with her, but they do with me.

And nobody make excuses implying that they don't like me please because I know they like me. I feel much more accepted there than I did at my first volunteer job, where I did act extroverted.