Teenagers on the spectrum hating authority
I never respected authority, but have pretended well enough to not get into much trouble. I know my son's the same way but he's smart enough to stay out of trouble, too. When I talk to him I say "we" need to avoid troubles. Wouldn't you rather have good times instead of sitting in jail? Wouldn't you rather spend your own money on fun instead of paying fines? It's easy to get him to listen to me because I never demand any respect or obedience because I'm his mom. I let him know I'm his friend. I give him reasonable requests. He never has to do things if I can't give him a reason for it. Of course if your son is a feeler that wouldn't work. I'm not a feeler so I don't understand too well what works for them. You'll have to figure that out. It's important for you to be on his side and empathize. (This works for pretty much everyone in the world, if you're on their side they're much more likely to listen to you. Arguments only works for the very rare few people.)
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AQ score: 44
Aspie mom to two autistic sons (21 & 20 )
I never grew out of it.
The only respect I have for authority is pragmatic--i.e., don't talk back to the cop who is misbehaving, just weather it and then let an attorney do the talking back at an institutional level. But I have deep contempt for people in authority who do not understand that respect is always earned and the benefit of the doubt can be quickly withdrawn in the face of misbehavior or abuse of power.
I agree with a lot of the thinking behind the American Revolution and find much of the Declaration of Independence and Constitution sympathetic. I always remind myself when facing civil authority in the US that these ideas are more "aspirational" than real in daily life.
"roll with it," sounds right--and when you are on your own, when in doubt, the right way to go.
I never was a lover of authority--but I've never really liked anarchy, either.
If somebody is being a "dick" to me, I feel like I want to "dick" them back. I hold off, though--under the auspices of the "roll with it" philosophy. You have to be smart; otherwise, people will find a way to trample you in some way. The best way to defy the "powers that be" is to learn the nature of the "powers that be."
John Paul II, before he was the Pope, used to defy the Nazis--not by open defiance (he superficially, seemingly kowtowed to them)--but by doing things under their noses. Sometimes, this involved helping Jews escape Poland. I think he (or perhaps his father, or both of them) might have hid some Jews from the Nazis as well.
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