Do I sit upon the spectrum?: First Post

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Last edited by DJames on 15 Jan 2012, 9:47 am, edited 4 times in total.

See a doctor and have him or her diagnose you.

I shall be. However, I'm looking for the opinions of those here also, as my referral might take some time.

It sounds to me you likely have asperger's. If money is of no concern for you (costs about $1000 USD to get a diagnosis) then I would highly suggest getting a diagnosis from a psychiatrist with knowledge of the autistic spectrum disorders. However if money is a concern then you may not want to go that route, many of us are self-diagnosed.

As for the doctor doubting you have it just because you inquired about it he or she has no idea what they're talking about. Doctors aren't experts about developmental disorders anyways so anything they say on that regards should be taken with a grain of salt. The awareness of asperger's has been increasing steadily since the 90's and that makes it more likely than ever for people in their late teens and older to discover they've been living with it all their lives without knowing it. I know people who never knew anything about asperger's and were given that diagnosis in their 50's.

Poor motor skills are just but one of the stereotypes of asperger's behaviors. It is not a criteria. You mention that you have an intense and restrictive interest in poetry, that you are very sensitive to particular lights, and that when you were younger you had a tendency to collect things, so you meet at least two of the common asperger's behaviors required for diagnosis.

Deficits in social communication and interaction is another big criteria for asperger's. You mention you have trouble maintaining eye contact while talking, and yet you sometimes find yourself starting at people from a distance, this is quite common in asperger's. You say that during conversations you submit a brisk thought and let the others carry the conversation because you prefer to carefully think out what you say, also common in asperger's.

Would you say that your symptoms have impaired your life? If so, can you describe how it has impaired your life?

I would highly suggest attending an adult asperger's or autistic support group. I would also suggest watching Mozart And The Whale, a movie about a couple with asperger's, you'll see the difference between an introverted person with asperger's and an extroverted one.

That you begin with the word 'sound' reminds me to disclose that I do not believe I have the associated monotone speech. I have, on the other hand, been reproved many times for the audibility and coherence of my speech (I'm sometimes given to speaking very lowly and to mumbling at home in particular). Though that I intend to outgrow.

Money in this case is not an issue as I have a medical card under which I think such a visit would fall. If it so transpires that the card cannot cover the requisite diagnosis, then I have little choice but the let the syndrome be.

As to your question, I would answer it with the question of what symptoms in particular you are referring to. My intense passion for poetry (also for prose writing and literature in general) has only served to enhance my life, to enrich it. It is a pleasure without which I could not do, in a manner of speaking. I won the national poetry competition for people my age here in October. At the awards ceremony I became vexed at being forced into pictures, and the attention I suppose, so I left early enough.

Commensurate with that comprehension of language is the profound inability to deal with numbers. Entering the Maths class is a continual private humiliation and frustration to me. My mind seems to fiercely resist almost all numerical inference, and I have lost my temper many times with the homework.

Returning to your question: my sensitivity to the lights is troublesome, as I am prone to migraines. Interestingly enough, the school is the only place where I get those headaches: It is the lighting, the garish yellow corridors that provoke them.

Being inconstant as I am in social situations means people are disinclined to approach. This I've noted. No one wants to approach someone for conversation only to discover that person cannot maintain the flow, and leaves one with the discomfiture of silence and seeming indifference.
I am thought to be quiet, shy, diffident, by turns self-deprecating and proud. or so I've learned at various points of listening. I feel at times I am not shy so much as restrained.
My mother tells me that as a child I was wild and playful, but at the age of roughly 12-13 I withdrew and ceased speaking to people almost altogether for quite a while.

I have a small circle of friends, though I tend only to be with one or two at a time. I have had romantic entanglements too, but they dissolved largely due to my own foolishness. I was loathe to be bound, and the entanglement seemed to pose that threat each time. My next opportunity for romance will be much different, I predict.

I would add that many of the social difficulties are due in part to the fact that I feel uncomfortable expressing myself with many people my own age. My friends tend to be intellectual in nature, but none of them share my interest in poetry. In fact, few or none do here. With my last girlfriend, whenever I would write something new I would badger her with it for her thoughts on the piece. She had no interest in poems, and felt inadequate when I did that, as it arose, so I stopped showing her.

I still have my doubts. I do not know exactly what the condition should feel like. I know I have had feelings of isolation as far as I can recall, even in the warmest circumstances. Etc.

Apart from this, I can think of little more necessary knowledge. If you have further questions, feel free.
Thanks for the film recommendation, I will watch it.


Many thanks,

D.

People with asperger's simply feel that others don't understand them. Aspies feel different from others.

As for my question it seems you have answered it, it seems that your condition has impaired and limited your life. I feel that you very likely have asperger's. People with asperger's often have other disorders as well, for example I have avoidant personality disorder as well as asperger's.

As for poetry, have you ever thought of joining a poetry club?

I hope you do not mind an inquisition of my own. What age were you diagnosed? That comorbid avoidant personality disorder must be
intractable to shoulder as well as AS. How do you feel on having the latter? What is your chief preoccupation, just as mine is poetry?
I have not considered poetry clubs. I will be departing for college/University in September in which place I expect to burgeon in this regard.
But poetry clubs are probably not what I'm seeking. Are you prone to depression?

I can't afford to see a psychiatrist so I self-diagnosed myself with asperger's last year, and I self-diagnosed myself with avoidant personality disorder about a decade ago. It's hard enough having APD, and asperger's makes it even tougher to socialize. The only place I've always felt I can socialize at is on the internet, but even on the internet I have trouble socializing and making friends.

When I play MMORPGs like World of Warcraft I can't even join clans because all their chatter frustrates me because I can't understand them, just like i can't understand conversations in real life. I always play those types of games "solo." Lately I've been playing farmville and cityville on facebook and the only friend I have on those is my girlfriend even though I have plenty of family members (to be fair to myself they are from my father's side and I hardly know anything about them) on facebook. I could add them but I just don't feel like it. That's how I feel about friends, 99% of the time I feel like I don't need them, most of the time I feel that all I need in life is my girlfriend and my immediate family.

My chief preoccupation at the moment is my girlfriend but some major preoccupations I've had have been chess and blu-ray movies.

I get mild depression sometimes but it usually only lasts briefly, sometimes just a day. Around a decade ago when I was in college was probably the worst time for me in terms of depression, there were times when I didn't even bother to shave, I had never heard of asperger's and I always felt so alienated. Things are much better now for me now that I know I have asperger's, and have found a girlfriend with asperger's.

One of the best online asperger test is http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php It is serious and based on solid documentation. If you answer honestly to this test, you'll know if you have it or not.

Hello. I have taken this test before. Repeating it now, I've just obtained an AS score of 135 and a
neurotypical score of 79. It states I am very likely an 'Aspie'. I cannot recall my previous score, though
the number 136/7 springs to the fore of mind. As to the fractional difference of result, I am sometimes
given to vacillation, such as it is.

Thank you for responding,

D.

I am with almost complete certitude at this point that I have Aspergers. However, my fears abound as to the possibility of my being misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all. I will be assessed in three-four weeks time. I was inimical to the correlations between myself and the syndrome at first, but now that I discern so many there seems nothing left but to concede my having it. I am beginning to see it in a much more favourable light and now that I am I may well be all the more distraught if the results are not what I think they should be, which was precisely what I felt they could not be some time ago, what I did not want them to be.

Look, diagnosis is somehow a controversial topic. Some will praise professional diagnostic and dismiss self diagnosic, other will praise the opposite, and others will think that both are ok. To be honest a don't know much about diagnostics but my instinct is telling me that professional diagnosis can never surpass self diagnosis. I think that because I you reach the point of diagnosting yourself with aperger, it means that you have come along some analysis over yourself, you took time to read documentation, to exchange ideas and impression on forums, like this one. As you know yourself much better than any doctor or specialist, so even with a lesser knowledge of the condition, you can assert a much better diagnostic than any expert could do.
Furthermore, by reading you, I can tell that you have a hight intelligence, and this is a trait of both asperger and good ability to diagnose asperger. Botom line: your diagnostic is better than their. so don't be afraid

You do.

You can also try this test:

http://www.springerlink.com/content/fhj ... ltext.html

You have to print it out from page 12 to 17, fill in, and score yourself manually, instructions are there. It's been developed for adults, so it may not be the most relevant for you. The cut-off point is 65. Try answer the questions honestly, not according to what is expected of you.

TheWingman,

Many of the symptoms as to how I am as a person are applicable, but not all pare up with what I do and did as a child.
I know one person with the syndrome (who is a member here) but whom I have never met. We often have discussions
over the phone. He is about two years my senior and my case, if there is one, is negligible (in practice) by comparison.
He thinks I am with many of the characteristics but is qualmish as to my being officially diagnosable due to my behaviour
not being adequately affected. He thinks it probable I will instead be diagnosed with an unclassified PDD which, as I
retorted on the phone earlier, seems the limbo of psychological affliction. I am pacing with perplexity on the matter
and am impatient to know without reservation the absolute truth. But I will have to wait it out.

Fraac,

Very succinctly put.


Ojani,

If I have calculated the results of this test correctly, then I have obtained a score of 176.
I have also taken the Simon-Baron Cohen AQ test to a score of 38. I think I shall have to be
analyzed by a specialising figure for confirmation of this deadly conundrum. Otherwise, I expect
I will be orbiting like an old ghost forlorn, never knowing the objective truth of the matter.
Against what do I measure my score for the test you forwarded?



Many thanks,

D.


P.S. How do I search for particular posts and members on this site?

Here:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt164094.html
(the cut-off is 65, relatively low)

Your score is among the higher ones, but be reminded that ideally this test should be taken with the help of a professional.