is eharmony worth the cost?



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ToadOfSteel
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07 Mar 2012, 1:08 am

I'm just wondering if anyone has any experience on it... does the money given confer any benefit in terms of the matches (or the likelihood that any matches you get will actually respond), or should I not invest money into it?



Sweetleaf
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07 Mar 2012, 1:14 am

probably not


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Subotai
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07 Mar 2012, 3:55 am

Why not just try for a month? It's not like it's a huge investment and you'll get firsthand experience rather than a bunch of hearsay.


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MarketAndChurch
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07 Mar 2012, 3:59 am

for an NT, I think so. for an Aspie, probably not.


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Wolfheart
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07 Mar 2012, 4:42 am

Approaching someone in real life and having a chat with them is far more memorable than a quick conversation on Skype or Facebook and it's free.



ToadOfSteel
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07 Mar 2012, 9:52 am

But I don't know anyone in real life...



techstepgenr8tion
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07 Mar 2012, 10:28 am

I did it for several years - got lots of matches and plenty of dates. The trouble is for all time you spend on their questionaire, it seems like the bulk of the matches you'll be looking at funny like "Really....her? Why??", so you may not receive a lot of matches you want to contact. The other part, you'll get a lot of sixty-percenters (likenesswise) who'll even contact you, you'll both go on dates, things will feel painfully luke-warm, one or the other of you have to say "I had fun but I think we could both find better matches" and it seemed like I was saying that on repeat - constantly.

That said I don't think I'm particularly anal or crazy, just that nothing they threw at me really worked. You might not have the same luck but that's kinda how it went for me.



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07 Mar 2012, 10:31 am

Wolfheart wrote:
Approaching someone in real life and having a chat with them is far more memorable than a quick conversation on Skype or Facebook and it's free.

I think any of us who are lucky enough not to have an off-putting presence should do that, for the guys who can't seem to get normal responses from people though they may have to go a bit deeper - ie. get involved in local activities where people can get to know them rather than having their immediate biases shut it all down. Same with the (thanks TEGH).....demisexuals....among us.



Matt62
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07 Mar 2012, 11:44 am

From first hand experience? No, it is NOT. My matches did not even fit my criteria and were often from too far away to be useful. I got a Pen Pal out of them. That was it.
I avoid pay sites for Online dating now..

Just saying,
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07 Mar 2012, 12:17 pm

"We're very sorry, but our matching system cannot predict good matches for you."

If you can even get past the questionnaire, then why not.



MXH
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07 Mar 2012, 12:36 pm

I dont think that any of the so called dating sites are of much good.



hyperlexian
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07 Mar 2012, 1:20 pm

it can definitely work to sign up for eHarmony. but if you hav money to burn you may be better off getting a few therapy sessions to learn to build up some confidence. that will give you results that you can use online AND in real life.


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ToadOfSteel
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07 Mar 2012, 1:25 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
it can definitely work to sign up for eHarmony. but if you hav money to burn you may be better off getting a few therapy sessions to learn to build up some confidence. that will give you results that you can use online AND in real life.


I've been going to therapy for a couple years now. It's hard for me to make progress because I still can't see any distinction between confidence and arrogance...



hyperlexian
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07 Mar 2012, 1:37 pm

if you feel like your progress has stalled out you may want to mention that to your therapist or switch to a new one. sometimes it helps to have fresh set of eyes on the situation. sometimes there is just a fine line between arrogance and confidence. but when you are truly self-confident you care a lot less about people thinking thing like that about you, because you know the truth and your self-worth isn't dependent on their opinions.


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Daryl_Blonder
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07 Mar 2012, 2:24 pm

A lot of the answer to your question depends on if you're male or female.

If you're a girl, go for it, but be prepared to get lots of responses from desperate men.

If you're a dude, forget it; don't waste your money. Small fish in a very big pond. The female members gets LOADS of messages from TONS of guys. The odds that your message will stand out are small. But I know that one service, Fling, allows you to purchase "premium emails" that bounce them to the top of the recipient's inbox. But not even that worked for me so I am no longer a member.

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