Getting the right mindset : The First step

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lol will you send me an upgrade warning when it runs out.

Most probably, my upgrade warnings come in unpredictable atypical ways tho.

It has to do with one of the most annoying types of judgements I think that humans make about others
Basicly It the "If others like/want (insert name), then I will like/want (insert name) too".
It a type thought process that alot of people fall into sometimes, and honestly I tend to avoid people who use that sort of thinking. Because they tended to just read the book by its cover instead of taking the time to read the pages, and thats not cool with me even if they liked cover in the first place.

that wasn't what i said. i am sure that having hot people pose with you would give people the idea you are hot stuff. but it wouldn't change your confidence levels inside yourself because you would know you are a fraud.

I agree with that but maybe the attention would boost their confidence a little but their goal wouldn't be really just boosting it.

hey wait?? do you mean I am a hot stuff??

Thanks, I'm glad you agree.



I agree, it's a long process to change negative core beliefs and thought patterns, it definitely doesn't happen over night and one post isn't going to change that but it might encourage people in the right direction.

Negative people can definitely have a strong effect on others, their thoughts and negativity can carry messages into your subconscious. Of course, the process is slow but negative people can definitely influence and reanimate those old self-defeating core beliefs and emotions so it's better to surround yourself with family and support systems that encourage positivity and change.

If a person did that, they would be cheating themselves or even the person they wish to attract. It might invoke jealousy but I don't see how it could build real confidence as it would be a lie and fraudulent. Being honest with yourself and others is the best policy and living a lie is hardly going to build any real confidence.

It sounds like it would be detrimental and exploitation towards the women involved as well, treating them as leverage or accessories. I don't know if you'd find many girls to do it but I'm sure you could find someone willing to sell their self respect for money.

Everything I've ever tried to do creatively has failed. At what point do I say it's never going to work rather than endlessly subjecting myself to pointlessness? I've chosen to recognize that point and to know that I've reached it.

Society in general just isn't compelling to me. I work only so that I can get money so that I won't die. With my free time I invariably escape somehow, via particular computer games or novels or TV shows or movies etc.

I really just don't want to be here. My fear of death is still there but not nearly as compelling as it once was. I mostly am still here because I made promises to people in the form of loans and I can't let those be on my conscience - I already tried and I couldn't do it.

I've removed all ties with everything else, family, (I've never really had any friends so that's easy), 'world events', whatever that even is exactly, society in general.

Really, it's not so much that I'm bothered by failing at whatever, it's that I feel there's really nowhere for me to go anyway while I'm here. It would be nice if my creative endeavors made profit so that I could interact less with people and society. At the same time, I'm not going to compromise my beliefs in order to make big money - I'm willing to compromise them slightly to make a little money, and even at every job I've ever had I avoid people and ignore the boss(es) as much as possible.

I simply don't want to be here. I never have, ever since I was little, and I never will.

In what way have your creative attempts failed? To what standard? art is unique and not always comparative, if something is unique, it has individual merits. It's important that you are making an effort and you aren't afraid to express yourself, those are two positive traits, it's simply a matter of perspective. Have you asked every person to critique every creative piece you created or did you simply do something creative for yourself? Remember it is subjective, you might see imperfection in your own work whereas someone else might see something beautiful.

Maybe society isn't compelling to you, there are some people that don't find society compelling, some people find other things compelling and can focus their motivation into that. I'm sure that if you shared your interest with the world, you could find someone that enjoys games or novels, someone that enjoys literature or animation. Maybe you could both live in your own little world of interests and not have to socialize much with others, I know couples that rarely socialize with other people and just enjoy the company of each other.

It would be a bad idea, this is true. It's essentially a form of prostitution. I think the effect on the women would be minimal, potential stalkers not withstanding, but anyone taking up the service is living a fantasy and ultimately doing themselves harm.

A better business would be a girlfriend consultancy. A business that, for a set payment (plus expenses, such as meals out) sets up the customer with a "girlfriend" for, say, one week. Sex would not be involved in this business. For this one week, he takes out the girl on dates, does all the small talk and so on, essentially as if dating a real girlfriend. At the end of the week, he gets a report with detailed feedback and areas for attention, so real dates go better.

Shotgun approach is for maximizing your chances of meeting someone compatible.
I honestly don't think you truly understand the advice people give about confidence and practice because you probably have no point of reference other than your own negative fantasies. Once you can get into a positive feedback loop you will learn and internalize the nuances of romantic relationships, and as you gain success you will gain confidence and at some point it will just be easy and natural to continue.

It's like riding a bike, I'm sure most of us are confident in our abilities to hop on and pedal away.

You keep bringing up the definition of insanity, but have you considered that you may not be applying the advice correctly? You need to have the eureka moment.

I admit that it is not easy to get this started, nor is it guaranteed, but perseverance greatly increases your chances.. to like 90%... and I mean real perseverance.
(yeah yeah 70% of statistics are made up on the spot)

You will probably totally reject this post, but keep in mind it is just my thoughts on the matter and is intended for anyone reading it.

if thats what you want to call it then fine. But to be fair approaching a bunch of people then settling for first to say yes isnt exactly worth much besides for a one nighter.

"Once you can get into a positive feedback loop you will learn and internalize the nuances of romantic relationships, and as you gain success you will gain confidence and at some point it will just be easy and natural to continue."
Ive never said its impossible to gain confidence. Ive always said that until you dont have real success you wont have real confidence, and even you seem to agree with this statement in your post talking negative of my thoughts. Which are pretty much what ive said in many threads. So again, theres no need to pick on me when you dont even know the whole story.


I also find it funny how you all seem to think im such a mister negative when I am going thread by thread looking for some new advice to continue trying to improve myself. That ive found an infinite loop which I think isnt of help to not just me but others and speak out about it doesnt mean i am mister negative. I wish yall could see how negative i can be if i was trying to be.

That doesn't sound like a bad idea, I wouldn't be surprised if a business like that did well considering the game show Take Me Out is popular in this country at the moment. I suppose people that are successful in dating would attempt to exploit it in some way though, some of those pick up artist seminars and courses can cost over a grand.

Those are all the things I hate about relationships ... what you're painting there is my vision of Hell, all that rotten stuff but no sex. I've been living with my gf 13 years and it works (for us, everyone's different) precisely because we avoid sharing all that stuff - it's all about just making a home together, we never talk about work or goals or any of that horrid stuff.

Each to their own preference, I suppose one person could take care of the financial responsibilities or both, It's really down to personal preference and trust I guess. It's good if you both enjoy the same job, for instance, marine biology as you could pursue it and share it as a mutual interest.