Explain to me age limits in a relationship

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MrBackward
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09 May 2012, 11:43 pm

So I am struggling to understand when older is too old and younger is too young.
Let me attempt to explain this clearer.... I mean this above statement in reference to the age that exists between two people such as a 20 yo and a 30 yo.
I have always considered that plus or minus 20% of your age is the "appropriate" age limit for a relationship. Eg a 20 yo would date a 16 to 24 yo.
What do you all think, am I wrong, right or other? Is there a legitimate time where the age distance should be a consideration?


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Delphiki
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09 May 2012, 11:46 pm

1. first take into consideration age of consent
2. mans age/2+7= minimum girls age


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Trigas
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09 May 2012, 11:56 pm

As long as their 18 it's free game imo.


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MinorAnnoyance
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09 May 2012, 11:57 pm

Delphiki wrote:
1. first take into consideration age of consent
2. mans age/2+7= minimum girls age

I've heard age/2+7 but also age+2+8. I guess it's different based on whether you round up or down when dividing odd numbers.



Last edited by MinorAnnoyance on 11 May 2012, 4:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

mushroo
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10 May 2012, 12:06 am

Please watch Harold & Maude. :)



Delphiki
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10 May 2012, 12:07 am

MinorAnnoyance wrote:
Delphiki wrote:
1. first take into consideration age of consent
2. mans age/2+7= minimum girls age

I've heard age/2+7 but also age/7+8. I guess it's different based on whether you round up or down when dividing odd numbers.


21/7+8 is 11... I don't think you heard that one correctly


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scubasteve
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10 May 2012, 12:22 am

In your early 20s, it's really much simpler than that... 18 is the lower limit.

The upper limit is more a matter of preference, though... A lot of women prefer to date guys who are the same age or older than them. But if you find one who's willing to date someone younger than her, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.



Maerlyn138
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10 May 2012, 1:42 am

My rule has always been as young as -10 years (starting when I was 28, my 2nd wife was 18 when we started dating...try and wrap your mind around the sh*t got from from ex-wife 1 on that one) and then +8 years or so. Going too much older would seem a little weird for me, at least as a man. My preference would be someone +/- 5 years.


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ThinkTrees
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10 May 2012, 1:47 am

I have had relationships with people up to 22 years older than me, and my current partner is 17 years younger.
I was reluctant at first, but he initiated the whole thing, and insisted it would be right, that age didn't matter. He was right.
Harold & Maude really puts it into perspective :)
(Another great couple, Edith Piaf & Theo...true love to the end.)

The thing to take into account is vulnerability, as there are those who would take advantage of younger persons to boost their egos, while the younger person is assuming it's deeper than that. This has happened to me, as I was very naive. (I still am, so it must have been extreme back then).
An older person should stay above 21 though, nothing younger than that, and even then, make sure the younger person is initiating, or is very mature and knows what's what (probably necessitating that they be NT, therefore).

And as scubasteve says, "In your early 20s, it's really much simpler than that... 18 is the lower limit."

My conclusions...It depends on who is initiating, and what their motive is.
Ego is a bad motivator....sleazy older people, no way, but if it's genuine Love, fine.


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Kjas
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10 May 2012, 1:49 am

Well then clearly I fail epiclly by your formula.

The last 2 guys I dated will be turning 30 and 33 respectively this year.

Honestly I don't think there is any "formula" per say. Age range changes as you get older too, don't forget that. It's too variable for you to apply a formula to it, as everyone has their own preferences and limitations.


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DogOfJudah
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10 May 2012, 2:20 am

Trigas wrote:
As long as their 18 it's free game imo.


Game on ! !



2wheels4ever
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10 May 2012, 2:22 am

Damm all these numbers, you know most aspies suck at math! This isn't fireproof but my interpretation is; if you see the person you might want to meet in a public place (not fast food or convenience store so much) during a weekday, it's a pretty good indicator they're out of school and approximately of age



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10 May 2012, 3:28 am

I think age differences are conducive to exploitation sometimes,
especially when the younger party is immature or naive.

Also, it can be difficult when two people are in different life stages-
the priorities and outlook on life might be radically-different.

I don't have a rule. I've dated several decades my senior, and a couple people who were a few years younger than me.


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10 May 2012, 3:37 am

Anything is possible nowadays... I say.


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izzeme
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10 May 2012, 4:47 am

there are no hard limits to the age of the person you are dating, as long as you are both over the legal age of consent of wherever you are living (usually 18).

aside from that, the 7-2 rule explained before is the most common range to prevent it being 'weird' or 'creepy' in age difference;
as an example, lets assume we got a guy of 22 years old; his minimum age is (22/2)+7 or 18, exactly the age of consent.
on the other hand, if a girl is this 22 years old, her maximum 'creep age' for the guy will be (22-7)*2 = 30 years old



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10 May 2012, 5:21 am

ValentineWiggin wrote:
I think age differences are conducive to exploitation sometimes,
especially when the younger party is immature or naive.

Also, it can be difficult when two people are in different life stages-
the priorities and outlook on life might be radically-different.


This.

I think it really does depend on the people involved and their stage of maturity. For example, a 16 year old* girl who is still at school and going out with a 26 year old man would be a different scenario to a 35 year old woman dating a 45 year old man - but the age difference is still the same.

Perhaps the important thing is that both people involved examine their motives - if the youth (or maturity) of your partner is the primary thing that you like about them then perhaps you should think a little more carefully. If you simply like them as a person and would want to be with them whatever age they were, then I think that is a better basis for a healthy relationship.

And of course, both people need to be over the age of consent.

*16 is the age of consent in the UK.