Aspie Females, sexual question.
forkful_of_soup
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 6 Aug 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 193
Location: United States
Kjas
Veteran
Joined: 26 Feb 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,059
Location: the place I'm from doesn't exist anymore
I've always been very loud during sex. If I'm not making noise, then he's doing it wrong.
I usually find it difficult to express myself verbally, but since I don't have to use words, I don't really need to hold back in the bedroom.
It's not to manipulate him... to be honest, I couln't keep quiet if I tried, and I have tried and failed multiple times.
I don't believe expression should be confined in the bedroom... that's kind of the one place where you should be completely free.
Some women simply aren't verbal like that, but for others it's a matter of shame or guilt. If you have no desire to make noise, that is different than feeling that you must be quiet.
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Diagnostic Tools and Resources for Women with AS: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt211004.html
ValentineWiggin
Veteran
Joined: 15 May 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,907
Location: Beneath my cat's paw
I'm pretty noisy. I find I enjoy it more if I allow myself to make noise, sort of like I feel less inhibited and more wrapped up in the moment if I am vocal. (dirty talk, nonverbal vocalizations, etc.) Usually I am a very quiet person so perhaps therein is the appeal of noise-making?
If I have to be discrete I can remain silent though I don't enjoy it as much when I have to control my noise-making inclinations.
If I don't have pleasure, I stay silent.
But if I do have pleasure, it's really hard to keep quiet, it's almost like torture.
I've never faked an orgasm in my life. If I don't get any pleasure, I don't force myself to have it, even if it means cutting short the sexual act. I don't care if I come across as « frigid ». It’s okay to not have an orgasm, it’s okay to be a newbie on sexual techniques. All is okay if there is consent.
I was silent before I was 26 because I didn't know how to have a good orgasm.
Even though I knew about the external clitoral orgasm (which I discovered by chance because I wasn't interested in sex before), it was so good but also so quick that I didn't know how to "capitalize" on it, so I didn't make a sound or even just a solo sigh in my horniest times. And I was clearly on an asexual spectrum only on behavior.
When I got to know my body better and stopped taking the pill (my libido killer) things changed completely. And, above all, I began to take a real interest in sex since orgasm is an interesting reward. It can sound selfish but I have to be honest. My partner was a newbie before and I didn’t want to have sex with him even if I have physical needs. I stayed with him because I could masturbate and he had other moral qualities and gave excellent chaste hugs.
I thought I was pretty asexual (although I liked giving oral pleasure) until my partner drastically improved at giving me pleasure.
Giving pleasure is good but it’s only good when you know you can regularly reach orgasm in your sexual life.
Now I know how to capitalize on my orgasm.
Girl tip: start with a clitoral orgasm and then vaginal stimulation. If you do it right, and if you are horny enough, you’ll discover a precise swollen zone which can appear in your vagina.
Goal is to tracking it by moving your body properly and this internal stimulation will continues to titillate indirectely the clitoris (without arm because when you come with your clitoris you can't touch it right after because it's too sensitive) and it feels so good.
Doing so, I moan solo and sometimes with my partner.
One con: I’m not experienced enough to do it without a sextoy or without my partner.
I don't know if moaning is a social thing, because I also do it alone, I find it hard not to make noise if I'm enjoying myself.
Sometimes forcing silence can make things more intense and I risk making even more noise because I'm unable to take the pleasure without things coming out in one way or another.
I hate someone could hear me.
I can speak about sex without sexualise it and fine with it.
But in real life, I'm too shy to masturbate in front of my partner, I refuse to share my fantaisies, I refuse to look porn with anyone and I would hate that someone could hear me. Being surrounded by noises or someone is a real turnoff for me. So I can also hate the fact I can moan.
We’re in 2023 and I was searching a topic about « moaning » because I wanted to know if someone can be « black or white » like me.
Funny because this topic is old and was written in 2012. At that time, I would certainly have written that « I am silent as death during sex » because I didn't yet know how to have a good orgasm (after all, I'm not saying that you can't have a good orgasm and remain silent, but that's definitely not the case for me because I'm very bad at managing my emotions and sensations).
Last edited by Checkbox on 27 Jun 2023, 7:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
"Aspie females" only. Oh I didn't pay attention. I don't know if I have classic autism or if I am aspie. Both conditions are described in my diagnosis (Asperger and classic autism) and I don't know which of the two I have. I hope my message will be appropriate and useful anyway because I am autistic anyway.
(if I moan, I am unable to speak and be verbal during sex).
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