talking to herself

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My daughter, 7 yrs old with HFA, talks all the time to herself. Her language is still developing, and the problem is to engage her with us. Is this a common behaviour in autistic kids? When can we do to make use language for better communication with us? Any ideas?

What kinds of things does she talk about to herself?

I ask because some people on the spectrum do not have a very well-developed ability to engage in self-talk and that makes many social skills difficult to learn because it is hard to engage in self-reflection if you cannot "talk to yourself."

Does she monologue? At that age, my son could start a conversation about something and you could literally walk out of the room and he would keep on talking, even if you weren't there any more. It was almost as if other people were completely irrelevant in the conversation. Actually, who am I kidding, it wasn't "as if" other people were irrelevant. Other people were irrelevant.

It took both of my kids time to learn about reciprocal communication. If that is one of your daughter's issues, if you could find an ABA practitioner who understands how to use ABA to teach communication skills to an older child, it might be worth giving a try.

Does your daughter also so show signs of ADHD? I know that for my son, a lot of his monologuing was due to an inability to inhibit his own speech. He almost seemed like a bipolar in the manic phase at times. He was on adderall for a couple of years and it actually helped this aspect of his difficulties.

Thanks for your reply. when I said that she talks to herself it is like mentioning things that she likes doing or watching. Sometimes just single sometimes short sentences.

yes she does have ADHD, she is always on the go. Infact lately we have started Ritalin which did make a small change but still not enough. You mentioned adderall. Did you ever try ritalin? Or you went directly to addrerall?

I constantly talk to myself to this day. I try not to do it much in public, because I'm aware that it makes me look crazy, so I try not to, but there is really no way for me to stop doing it at home.

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It depends what you mean by "talking to herself." A lot of people use that expression without really explaining what they mean.

If she is genuinely talking to herself, then that's not really a problem.

If she is pretending that somebody else is there and is talking to an imaginary person or rehearsing a conversation in her mind, then that's not really a problem, either.

However, if she's hallucinating and is talking to a non-existent person and genuinely believes that they are standing there when they do not even exist, that's not good at all. That's schizophrenia.

when I talk to myself Im just saying my thoughts out loud

The best way to explain it is that she is really thinking aloud. Is she thinks about something she says a word or short sentence about it.

Perhaps she is "practicing" for a future conversation or reviewing a past one. I think most people do this. We go over in our heads past events or think about what we might say in a situation we know is in our future. I think it is fairly common for people on the spectrum to have less distinction between what is going on inside their heads and what they are saying aloud.

One way you might get her to engage with you is to start by getting involved in whatever she is interested in. When you spend a lot of time really engaged in her interests, you can start inserting your thoughts and comments. Another avenue is social skills training with a professional like a speech therapist. My DS gets social skills training at school and they specifically work on reciprocal conversation among the kids in the group and the therapist. They work on the importance of listening to what one person says and responding with at least one comment that is relevant to the first person's statement. It's slow going but I think it will be useful in the long run.

I have learned that when my daughter, is talking to herself she is thinking out loud.

I do this all the time; I often review conversations or pre-view them if I can. I don't do it out loud anymore, but I'm totally unable to keep my hands from talking and my family is constantly saying to me "who are you arguing with now?"

If she's communicating successfully on other levels and has good support for speech otherwise (has her speech been tested? You know that there are speech deficits that have nothing to do with being able to say words, right?) I wouldn't worry about it, although I'd bring it up to her speech therapist.

*Talking to myself*

"Zodai, you're talking to yourself..."

"I'm fully aware of that."

*Continues talking to myself*

Generally, I don't really get why it's such a bad thing o_O...

I used to do this a lot, my parents told me not to because people will consider it weird and not want to be friends with you.

I talk to myself, and most of the other spectrumites I've been around do it as well. Sometimes I am just saying what I'm thinking. Other times I am rehearsing a conversation since all my conversations MUST be rehearsed or else I cannot have them.

I used to talk to myself when I was little, in a sense of actually talk. Not just say semi-random phrases out loud, but actually have a real two-way dialog with myself, complete with responses to each statement. Here's a slightly disturbing example.

I was 5 or 6 at the time. I just got a shot (flu vaccine, maybe, I don't remember) at the school nurse's office in kindergarten. The shot was done, and I walked back to class and sat down. (I remember the "conversation" very clearly, and it's presented here verbatim, except for words in brackets added for clarification.)
Aspie1: (sobbing) "It hurts. That nurse is really mean."
Aspie1: "Don't cry; when we come home, we'll take some medicine [for the pain]."
Aspie1: "It still hurts."
Aspie1: "We're in school; we can't do anything now. We can't put an ice pack [on the injection site], because the band-aid will fall off. Don't cry. The pain will go away from you soon."

The teacher must have heard me talk, because this was during quiet time; you were allowed to read a book if you knew how or play with a silent toy (stuffed animal, Etch-a-Sketch, etc). I was excused from class briefly with a note, when an administrator walked into class and handed it to my teacher. It's really interesting that the teacher didn't say anything to me, given the time the incident took place, year 1988.

Dsbonn, how exactly does your daughter talk to herself? Does she simply tell herself stories (what people usually mean when they say "talk to yourself")? Or does she do the dialog thing like I did?

Hi Aspie1,

No, she talks differently, but then again her language is still developing, so she cannot form those sentences. What I hear her say is one words or short sentences about the things she likes or the things she likes to do...i think sometimes it is echolalia - she mentions the error messages she gets on the computer. But most of the times it is meaningful.