So the other night I pulled the plug on all my free dating site profiles, I figured after 2 years and next to no results there was really no point in further depressing myself with logging on to them and having zero results.
Plenty of Fish- I probably had the most amount of people message me on here, but it was usually only because they were doing it to be nice I think, the 2 years I had been on it I only met 3 people in real life off of it. 9 out of 10 messages I sent out resulted in no reply or even bothering to read my profile, probably because I wasn't attractive to them.
DateHookUp- I think there was like a whole 20 people from my city on that site and most of them were the ones that already rejected/ignored me on PoF
OkCupid- Pretty much the same story as Datehookup, low amount of people in my city and some of the same people from the other 2 that wouldn't bother with me.
Some may tell me why don't I just go out and try to "meet" people. I'm not able to do that, its like a "mental lock" in my head to put it best into words. I'm not someone that can just walk up to a girl my age I see and tell her hi or whatever, my brain just won't let me being high functioning autistic. I don't drink so I almost never go to bars, and most of the girls there are drunk anyways and I'm sure in their right sober minds would probably not approach me anyways.
I work at Costco, but there isn't a lot of people there my age, and the few that are, about 90 percent of them are married, engaged, pregnant, have kids. Affairs going on left and right, I could probably write a new york times best seller about some of the things that go on alone in my Costco to put it lightly <_< So dating in the work place is out of the question for me.
The internet has pretty much been my source of meeting people and friends outside of work and stuff, without it I honestly don't think I'd have any.
I guess my question is are Paid dating sites more "successful" then free ones. And to clear things up, I'm not talking like if you were on Plenty of Fish as a free user and then just suddenly upgraded to a paid one. From what I read it sounds like the only thing that changes being a paid member on there is your picture/profile being at the top of search results and the ability to see if someone read/deleted your message or not, which to be honest I don't need that feature to know by now if they did or not after 2 years <_<
I just got fed up of all the judgmental girls on the free ones and maybe on paid ones there'd be less of that and more sincere/serious people, but what do I know?
Joined: 17 Jan 2011
I think the paid sites are generally for more "serious" relationships (as in, people looking for a life partner) rather than the more casual dating approach of the free to use websites. Because of this I imagine it might be harder, as people will judge much more harshly if they are looking for a potential spouse or parent to their future children. I haven't used them, though, so take what I say with a grain of salt!
Joined: 16 Apr 2008
I too thought of that, but I can't see myself moving anytime soon, and I'm especially not doing it just for romance either.
Joined: 21 Jul 2012
Joined: 16 Dec 2010
Joined: 28 Aug 2007
Free sites = free to waste time and get very few responses.
Either way it is a lose-lose scenario for the average male user.
It's similar to porn.
Porn doesn't cost $25/month for the service and $50 for dinner - to get a hug and, "I just didn't feel a spark."
Joined: 6 Nov 2012
Location: Mesa, AZ
Actually, aspieaffection.com , which is affiliated with wrongplanet.net has a lot of cute babes. I'd say, take a look there. I contacted a few and they are very nice. I'm an old guy, so none of them are in my age range. I wonder if we should find a way to promote aspieaffection.com. It should be the ideal place for us to meet nice babes that we have a fair level of compatibility with.
I've gone on that site before, it has several issues.
-Not very user friendly navigation.
-Unless I'm an idiot and can't find it, no search engine.
I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna scroll through pages after pages of people just to see if theres anyone on there in my city or state. Where I live in Roseburg only has a pop of 20,000 something, I'd be VERY surprised if anyones from my city, let alone Oregon was on that site.
I'm also not doing the whole long distance relationship thing again EVER AGAIN. I wasted 2 years of my life with a girl from North Carolina. On the week of what woulda been our 2 year anniversary I was gonna pay for her to come visit here after getting my job, it never happened. Reason? She got pregnant with someone elses twins that week. That was 3 years ago, and I just found out recently from another online friend that shes pregnant again.
My max distance I'm willing to drive out to see is an hour. I'm not moving or re-locating just for a girl.
Joined: 20 Jul 2012
At the time I was shocked more than anything because I never dreamed something like that could happen. I was sure that beings she had put up with it for 2 years that I'd never loose her, but after it happened I'd lie awake in bed for hours piecing things together in my head, that before had I stopped and thinked, I probably coulda saved myself some heartbreak earlier.
This particular girl was one of those that thought she was "fat and ugly" when she wasn't. never been kissed or hugged by a guy or anything before, family life was from stable, so that didn't help to add to it.
The guy that she ended up getting pregnant with, when he came a long she would mention him a lot, at some points a little more then I was comfortable with things like, "I was talking to my "Friend" earlier today". This "friend" was getting mentioned more and more. Then he started leaving things on her facebook that you probably shouldn't be leaving a girl thats not your girl friend, let alone supposedly someone elses. Things like "oh baby your so sexy". I know this guy was on drugs (pot) a long with his family and obviously had some mental condition, he was one of those that like had his brains in his fists and would constantly get in fights with people and felt he was entitled to "own" anything he thought he was entitled too, girls included.
I had remembered a couple weeks after she met this guy she had gotten a yeast infection. From what I researched anyways, it sounds like its pretty uncommon for a girl thats not sexually active to get one. Yes, I'm sure theres probably people that have gotten them not being sexually active, but you have to remember before all this she had never been kissed or anything. So it'd be one hell of a coincidence if you ask me......
A couple weeks later she was telling me about how she was feeling really sick. I didn't piece it together at the time, because again, I had no reason to ever suspect such a thing, but she got that sick because it was a first sign of being pregnant once I thought back about it and she later admitted to it months later.
A week after that I looked on the guy's facebook and read that he was gonna be a father. My first thought was "thank god, he got someone else pregnant, now he'll finally quit hitting on her!" A few mins later he posts something about how he has the best girl friend ever, and my now ex girl friend comments back with a heart icon. I immediately snapped and confronted her about it. Within mins I was deleted/blocked off of anything I could possibly communicate with her on, instant message, email, myspace, facebook, everything. I had to find out from her mom the truth a few days later and we didn't speak again for 6 months.
She ended up having some twin to twin syndrome thing and needed some minor surgery for it and ended up giving birth to the twins like 5 months early, as cruel as it may sound, I had no sympathy for her after that. Her dad is in and out of jail like a revolving door, has some stage 4 cancer so probably doesn't have much to live. Her mom has health problems as well and not a lot of money (her and the baby daddy current live in her house). My ex's baby daddy/fiance works at Burger Kind, they break up like every other week I swear. And shes 22 and last I heard still has no job or even a GED. As I said earlier, that was 3 years ago now and I just found out shes pregnant again. Didn't think she could screw her life up anymore then she has, but I guess even she can exceed my expectations.
Oh well, her crisis is no longer my problem or concern the day she betrayed me.
Joined: 16 Apr 2008
Did you completely delete your OKcupid account or just temporarily deactivate it? One good thing about OKC is that you can deactivate your account temporarily for as long as you want, but it appears to everyone else that its been deleted.
I tried that stupid dating-site for a few weeks, but I got sick of seeing the same 40-50 profiles all the time. So I temporarily deactivated my account. Like once a month I'll reactive it for a day or so to check what new profiles have appeared.
Joined: 28 Aug 2007
Joined: 17 Jun 2010
Location: Beirut ,Lebanon
Joined: 3 Nov 2008
Location: United Kingdom, England, Berkshire, Reading
Dating sites can tend to attract leeches (gold diggers), scammers such as the 419ers. If one wants to know if you have a job it can be a sign that they may want someone for their money that being a leech, a bloodsucking leech also its moderators can send fake profiles and chats as well so I wouldn't trust one either paid or free and they're really for allistic people.
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