How to tell when she's NOT interested

Post Reply New Topic

Women's logic: Because it's the MAN's job.


or

"I tried it once and got rejected, it hurted me so much and vowed to never do it again."

When she is ignoring you and giving you the silent treatment like this!

• she says she isn't interested. this one should be obvious but it is not
• she gets very giggly and excited and bubbly and happy when other people besides you enter the conversation
• she avoids being alone with you, even in a public place
• she cancels plans frequently and with ridiculous excuses
• she acts very contrary, seeming to disagree with everything you say just for the sake of creating conflict
• she avoids accidental physical contact or doesn't seem to want a hug
• she stares at other men around you and seems to be trying to catch their eye
• her body language is closed, i.e. hunched over, head down or turned away, but with other people she is more open
• she doesn't seem to be listening to what you say at all, and doesn't ask questions or add to the conversation
• she doesn't mention the possibility of seeing you ever again, and seems unexcited if you mention it
• she wears heavier or less revealing clothing than usual around you, and doesn't take her coat off around you
• she always tries to get other people to join your conversations if you are alone together, even strangers or randoms
• at work or in a group of friends, she never seeks you out intentionally to talk to you, and every conversation is business or necessity-only
• if she is old-fashioned, she won't let you pay for her food or drinks

these things are not always true in isolation (and some are just a person's own personality), but if you take a few together you may have a pattern.

That sounds more like she's upset with you rather than a lack of interest.

All of these are true, because all of them except the coat thing and the physical contact thing have happened to me.

Some of them will accept certain physical contact, but still won't be receptive to dating you. Watch out for that too.

If you ask her to hang out and she invites other friends, then she's not interested.

When texting, if you just get one-word answers like "lol" or "k" or "damn" while you actually make an effort, it's a safe bet she's not interested. Especially if you started the conversation.

I would know these things because I'm the king of getting rejected.

if a woman looks at you(and one is sure they are looking at you) and they give a quick grin, what does that mean? secondly i have terrible time knowing whether they are looking at me or someone, else.

Perhaps I shoulda put the seat down eh?

Here are a few signs that I know that a girl isn't interested in dating you, some may be very obvious and others might not be so obvious. I apologize in advance if any of these have already been posted.

1. She refuses to hang out with you
2. She's very talkative towards her friends, but doesn't say a single word to you.
3. She acts as if you're some sort of creep
4. She won't let you give her a hug
5. She finds excuses to not be alone with you
6. She responds to you with only one or two-word responses.
7. She feels as though she must be careful around you.
8. She seems to be deliberately avoiding you.
9. She doesn't flirt back when you attempt to flirt with her.
10. She ignores all your jokes.
11. She will not give you any contact information.

Couldn't this one mean the exact opposite, depending on the tone of voice and purpose?

yes, any one item from the list can mean something different when taken in isolation. that's why i emphasized that it should be a few factors taken together.

I don't need to know when she's not interested. The fact that she might be interested almost never crosses my mind at the appropriate time.

#sensoryissues

A lot of women do not display these behaviors; they actually display the opposite. They will go out of their way to initiate conversations with me, get excited when they see me, even give me nicknames and initiate frequent physical contact. Yet then when I express romantic interest, they get awkward and say they just wanted to be friends.

I guess the question isn't how to tell when women are/aren't interested, but rather how to tell whether their interest is romantic or platonic.

Level 1: "I don't want anything to do with you, creep"
Level 2: Friends only
Level 3: Romantic interest

Hyperlexian's list is a useful way to distinguish between #1 and #3 but not always a way to tell #2 from #3. But the way I see it is if you reach level 2 a lot, it's probably easy to reach level 3 in some cases.

It appears, from reading this board, that a lot of aspie guys with much nicer personalities than myself land in level 2 a lot more often than I do, so 2 confused with 3 seems to be a relevant topic for some while 3-2 confusion is more relevant to others.

The definition of a creep is one who confuses 1 with 3, and hyperlexian's post is written towards that.

I've rarely, or never, had the privilege of confusing 2 with 3 since I'm not nice enough to be in 2 much. But being a good observer of people, it appears that this is quite easy to tell. If a girl is comfortable being around you, such that you're already a 2, you're going to see signs of sexual, as opposed to friendly, interest. Random hugs and making up excuses to invade your personal space in other ways are highly likely, as is staring.

Last edited by Tyri0n on 05 Feb 2013, 7:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Your list was missing a few other ones...

• She laughs in your face when you try to ask her out
• She hits you when you try to talk to her (*)
• She turns around and runs away when you approach her

(*) Instead of hitting you, she might use pepper spray and/or a taser, too

^^^Dont forget to leave out that they will say they don't date people that ride the short bus.
.Or they may say they don't date rainmen!

Keep in mind that many girls will be touchy feely with their close male friends as well. Friends with whom they have no romantic interest, so it gets even trickier.

As guys, we're not used to being touchy feely in a flirty sense with our male buddies, which I suspect may be a reason why we tend to mistake female friendliness for romantic interest.