Have You Ever Faced Harassment Charges?

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zacb
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22 May 2013, 8:42 am

I never made any threats or sexual suggestions, but I kept asking why this one chick flaked on me via text, and after a few, she said she was calling the police. I never said anything wrong, but now she is acting all bitchy. I stopped after she said stop, but she called the police. I swear. Anyone ever get a threat like this? I admit I went over the line, but I never committed any wrongdoing under state law. I was frustrated that women were flaking on me. And here is the thing, she invited me to hang, but after she invited me, she never revealed the details. So I kept asking. God , this place is so F*ed up.



Geekonychus
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22 May 2013, 8:48 am

Maybe she didn't want to join your harem.



JanuaryMan
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22 May 2013, 8:51 am

Image



zacb
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22 May 2013, 9:32 am

Geekonychus wrote:
Maybe she didn't want to join your harem.
Nah, didn't invite her. I want an Asian only Harem :D .



Tyri0n
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22 May 2013, 9:42 am

zacb wrote:
I never made any threats or sexual suggestions, but I kept asking why this one chick flaked on me via text, and after a few, she said she was calling the police. I never said anything wrong, but now she is acting all bitchy. I stopped after she said stop, but she called the police. I swear. Anyone ever get a threat like this? I admit I went over the line, but I never committed any wrongdoing under state law. I was frustrated that women were flaking on me. And here is the thing, she invited me to hang, but after she invited me, she never revealed the details. So I kept asking. God , this place is so F*ed up.


No, because I don't harass people.

Sounds like you were harassing her and deserved it. One "no" should be enough. If a girl wants to go out with you, she will clear her schedule and make time to go out with you. You don't need to badger anyone.

She probably said "ok, f**k, I'll hang out" after you kept pestering her but never actually intended to hang out. Then, when you kept pestering her, she got scared and called the police to avoid getting stalked and raped (not saying you would have, but you were acting like one who would do that sort of thing).



thewhitrbbit
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22 May 2013, 11:03 am

How many times did you text her?

There is a different between harassment and sexual harassment.



Tyri0n
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22 May 2013, 11:54 am

zacb wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
Maybe she didn't want to join your harem.
Nah, didn't invite her. I want an Asian only Harem :D .


Bad news.

Asians don't like to be harassed either.



spongy
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22 May 2013, 12:27 pm

A girl just "flaked" on me(we arranged to meet earlier on today but she didnt confirm, she expected me to be there without confirmation and jump at the chance of hanging out with her).

Since I still wanted to see her because she is leaving the country on friday and we are friends so I want to say goodbye to her I made one call to her.
On this call I explained why I wasnt there(no confirmation) and she said that we could still hang out tomorrow. She was a bit unclear on her schedule so I told her she can just send me a message on fb tonight.

If there is no message I ll assume that she just doesnt want to say goodbye to me and that´ll be fine by me(Actually seen her less than a handfull of times in my life and said goodbye to her last year already)



BlueMax
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22 May 2013, 1:10 pm

From what you've written (leave out any self-incriminating details?) it seems like she flaked on the date and you wanted an answer why. She refused to give you one. The more you asked for a reason, the more mad she got... you weren't playing by the NT rules of "smile and pretend it never happened".

Push too hard, she flipped out and you were the "bad guy" for not following that rule... more bad than HER for originally flaking on the date in the first place. (Somehow.)


Unless the police actually called you, I'd call it a "go away" bluff.



JanuaryMan
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22 May 2013, 1:33 pm

BlueMax wrote:
From what you've written (leave out any self-incriminating details?) it seems like she flaked on the date and you wanted an answer why. She refused to give you one. The more you asked for a reason, the more mad she got... you weren't playing by the NT rules of "smile and pretend it never happened".

Push too hard, she flipped out and you were the "bad guy" for not following that rule... more bad than HER for originally flaking on the date in the first place. (Somehow.)


Unless the police actually called you, I'd call it a "go away" bluff.


BlueMax probably assessed this situation right. Next time it happens on a date just joke about her not showing up and move on.



DialAForAwesome
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22 May 2013, 2:01 pm

Don't feel bad. I've had the same thing happen, only after asking 2 times! It's crazy that some people will just cry harassment after a couple questions, and no stalking or touching involved.

All the more reason to be a gynophobe.


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22 May 2013, 3:59 pm

BlueMax wrote:
From what you've written (leave out any self-incriminating details?) it seems like she flaked on the date and you wanted an answer why. She refused to give you one. The more you asked for a reason, the more mad she got... you weren't playing by the NT rules of "smile and pretend it never happened".

Push too hard, she flipped out and you were the "bad guy" for not following that rule... more bad than HER for originally flaking on the date in the first place. (Somehow.)


Unless the police actually called you, I'd call it a "go away" bluff.


This guy knows what he is talking about, listen to him. Next time, try to find a girl that shows mutual interest. It's hard for us to assume anything about the situation but did she do anything to lead you on? If so, she is in the wrong but do try to avoid people that are vague about their interest in you.



aspiemike
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22 May 2013, 4:13 pm

You know what typically happens to an Aspie when they get mad at someone? I have seen many times where I just want to get a point across to someone even when they don't want to hear it.
The rules of the social game are different... Noone wants to take responsibility for their actions in the world or be honest and some even wait until others do something wrong so that fault or blame can be pinned on them instead. It leaves her off the hook for any blame and she no longer has any reason to feel guilt for flaking.



LongWaysAway
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22 May 2013, 4:28 pm

There was this one girl. In the end, I got totally obsessed and started freaking out and losing my mind.

There was this girl I liked. At the time my dating/relationship experience was a big fat zero even though I was in my early-mid 20s already. Hers was too, and she was my same age. I worked up the nerve to ask her out, she said yes, we went on a couple dates and she strung me along for a couple months (she had issues of her own) and began to dither while I began to plan the wedding in my head. She told me it was over, but in an ambiguous way with hints that it could start back up once she'd had her breathing room, which kept me on the hook for many months more. (I later discovered she didn't mean it, she was just trying to be nice.) I proceeded to lose my s**t.

At a certain point my dad told me to forget she existed or else harassment charges might be in the cards. He was very concerned for me. I'm glad my dad was there to watch out for me. God only knows how much more headfricked I would have gotten. I mean, I never would have harmed her or turned into a stalker or anything, but still. It could have gotten uglier than it did. I was totally out of my head.

I mean, I take all the blame for how it played out, but here's the takeaway: if you're going to dump an Aspie, do it in no uncertain terms.



blunnet
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22 May 2013, 4:51 pm

I have been there, and that is one of the reasons:
1. Skepticism towards a harassment allegation (and giving a s**t if my skepticism offends)
2. Being careful not to fall again in same situations to the point of not caring at all for friendships and relationships.
3. Look for an alternative, funny thing I have been treated a whole better by sex workers than by "normal" women, so I go with what works best for me I suppose.



Who_Am_I
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22 May 2013, 8:22 pm

Repeatedly badgering someone about why they changed their mind is harassment.


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