An online friend who cannot talk about her childhood traumas
My online friend who is AS diagnosed has childhood traumas which cause her lots of suffering but she says that she cannot talk anybody about it. She quickly mentioned that it is related to her violent father (also her experiences from the school sound like being negative though I do not know if it has been traumatic as well). She said she does not trust anybody and does not speak to anybody (including professional helpers) about the issue.
I am not sure if it is a good idea to try to help her (because the issue is so sensitive and I could just blow it somehow) and I probably do not dare to raise the issue again but I am still interested to know how people can usually be helped in a situation like this. If a person has no trust to talk even with psychologists, how he or she can find courage to deal with his/her traumas?
I already suggested to this person to talk with cats or imaginary friends in order to practice building trust (I happen to know that traumatized children are sometimes put to communicate with animals. She is adult however).
Sherry221B
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Joined: 28 Oct 2013
Age: 122
Gender: Female
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Location: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
This.
Give that person time. It could be years and years before they're ready to deal with it - if ever.
Perhaps never. That's something you have to come to terms with.
Speaking out of personal experience, there's not much you can do if she doesn't feel comfortable to talk about these sensitive subject for her, with another person, show her that she can trust you, be supportive to her, be by her side you know, and with time she'll open up her feelings with you
My suggestion would be to let this problem be her problem. Stay out of it. You will do a lot more harm than good. Childhood trauma takes a long time to get over, with help from a qualified professional. Some people never "get over it". They just live with the aftereffects. It is each individual's choice. I am speaking from personal experience as a survivor of child abuse, a mental health professional, and someone who has, with good intentions, caused damage to people I care about by trying to help them recover from their childhood traumas.
To treat traumas correctly is one of the most difficult things in psychitry and not even many psychiatrists/psychotherapists are properly trained in that area.
I was in a traumatic situation 3 years ago and couldn't talk about it for a year.
You can't do anything about it and "forcing" someone to talk about it can even worsen the situation. I also did things to "worsen" my trauma, that's even very common because ppl with traumas tend to repead their traumas over and over, because they think they could solv it that way. It is very difficult to stop that kind of behaviour. Don't force her to talk about it or to do anything, traumas are really difficult to treat. Someone with a really bad childhood trauma who is not going better by itself needs treatment by a proberly trained trauma-therapist.
_________________
"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." - Woody Allen
I am not sure if it is a good idea to try to help her (because the issue is so sensitive and I could just blow it somehow) and I probably do not dare to raise the issue again but I am still interested to know how people can usually be helped in a situation like this. If a person has no trust to talk even with psychologists, how he or she can find courage to deal with his/her traumas?
I already suggested to this person to talk with cats or imaginary friends in order to practice building trust (I happen to know that traumatized children are sometimes put to communicate with animals. She is adult however).
Just be her friend and don't ask personal questions.
I've known people with ptsd and one complaint I've heard from them is people bother them to know their business. If they don't bring it up, don't talk about it. They probably have enough other people pestering them trying to "help" and would usually rather not be asked about it because all it does is remind them.
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