Just finished my suicide notes

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Not sure whether or not I'll do it yet though. I really should, given how much of a complete and utter failure as a human being I am.

At 25 kind of early to judge yourself as a failure. You're just a baby. Give it another 50-80 years to make sure.

I'm 25 years old and my house is constantly a pigsty, and my mother has to help my financially so I'm not living at home.

How is that not a failure?

You are way too hard on yourself. You may be experiencing difficulties, but you have to give yourself a chance to get out of them.

There's always a way. Even if sometimes all you can do is wait for the way to appear.

A chance?

If I tell my mother how in a fit of depression I spent most of my pay this month (I get paid once a month) and now don't have enough for rent sure she'll shell out, but she'll be disappointed.

I also managed to piss off my boss today too. After he was nice enough to share some tv show he downloaded with me.

I really don't see how I'm going to improve.

Your mother will be disappointed to help with your rent, but she will be devastated if you pass away prematurely.

Walking the path isn't the same as knowing the path. Just keep walking.

Your curse is being aware of the things you lack or do wrong, and yet it is also the very blessing that will get you out eventually. Many people aren't aware of where they are as opposed to where they should be, so they never dig the way from former to latter.

You're not going to be stuck in this situation forever. Trust me.

I had to giggle at the use of the word prematurely. If anything it's a belated suicide, my footballer inadvertantly kept me alive for two years by his appreciation of me.

Umm... sorry Kezzstar but this does not make sense. You just got out on your own, and are very aware of your mental condition and issues. Don't you see it is those conditions and issues doing the (irrationale) thinking right now? This really can be the point of starting to put aside the problems/obsessions of the past and draw out the real Kezzstar. But you will need help. Are you seeing a doctor or therapist? If you are thinking it won't do any good, I have to disagree. And at the moment I think it is critical you get some face to face assistance, or at least talk with someone on the phone like on a crisis hotline. From the outside its easy to see suicide would be the biggest mistake.

Hey, don't be too hard on yourself. I know it's hard but you just have to give up on your frustrations in life. I do feel like this sometimes but I always try to look past the negative aspects just so I could keep living. I'm sure everyone here (I hope) could always relate with your situation. Trust me, killing yourself won't be the best way to end your misery.

That sums it up nicely.

at 40, I had to move back in with my parents. considered suicide. got counseling. changed my mind. now I'm married and working.

it does, however, seem you are making excuses and taking advantage of your mother by blowing your rent in a fit of depression. give your mom control of your finances if you can't get control of them on your own.

I'm 34, just barely getting my career started, my place is always a mess, and I'm getting financial help from my mother as well, but after years of working up to it that finally might be coming to an end and I may be able to support myself decently relatively soon.
I don't consider myself a failure at all.
We all get where we're going at our own rate.
I'm just a little slower than most is all.

At 25, you're a kid, not a failure.
You've got years and years and years of working at it before you should be anywhere near ready to give up.
Just keep making progress, even if it's really slow.
Keep trying, keep working at it.

You've got plenty of time.

I have been suicidal for the last few weeks. I know it is because of the conditions that I am in right now. I have too much free time. There is a lot uncertainty in my life. I am painfully aware of all of my shortcomings (mental disorders). I am in a position to move out on my own for the first time in my life, which terrifies me. The thing that terrifies me the most is dating. I get suicidal every time I think about it. Then it goes away. I find a reason to stay alive. I hope you do not have a plan for committing suicide. It sounds like a permanent solution to a temporary problem. These tough times will pass and so will these thoughts of suicide. I glad you mentioned it to us in the haven, and I hope you start looking for excuses to keep living just one more day. It might be hard, but if you think about it, a reason will come.

The key word being "solution"!

Ah, but we aren't just discussing Kezzstar & Kezzstar alone's problem, so a permanent solution for one means a permanent problem for many more.

Kezza, I hope you're feeling a bit more positive today.