Why do people think this?

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There are at least 2 people I know who when I'm in an argument with them or something it starts getting intense and then they say '' You think You know everything don't You? '' , which really pee's me of as I try to talk to them in a fair and decent manner, backing up my statements with sources and evidence and trying to be unbiased.

Yes of course sometimes I can be wrong we all are, its just some people start to assume I'm a know it all smug based idiot who doesn't listen,
some people mistake my opinion for fact which I hate.

For example this is a conversation I had with my step-dad earlier

Stepdad - '' You ain't going out looking like that are You? ''

Me - '' Yeah, I am ''

Stepdad - '' You realise this is why people take the mick out of You? Looking like this, have some pride in Yourself ''
Me - '' Yes, I do its just I really could not give a toss about fashion and the such, there are much more important things I need to be worrying about, I don't care what people think of me, why should I? I use to think like that and people took advantage of it! ''

Stepdad - '' Oh here You go , You know there really is no point arguing with You, You're always right ain't You? ''

Me - '' No I'm not always right!! Thats an assumption You are making, Infact only You and another person are like this to me, not many others are like this to me! Just a select few! ''

Stepdad - Yeah, yeah now go on get out, You are going aren't You?
Me - Yes, I am.

Stepdad - Well goodbye!

Me - What? Why are You saying that?

Stepdad - Don't worry, Bye, go along now.

I genuinely do not understand why people like him get like that, what did I do wrong in that conversation? He just started a big argument for himself, not me.

<--- Doesn't give a toss about fashion, either.
<--- Can care less about what people think.

I am really sorry about this, he is trying to look out for you but he has no clue how to do it right.

Basically grown ups forget what it was like when they were younger and cannot communicate on a level that you would understand.

Also, from his point of view, how you look reflects on him as well, so if people take the mick out of you that makes him look like a loser for not instilling better values in you (that's his job as your step dad according to the great unwritten rules of human social structures).

So basically you have to learn how to humour the people who show no capability of conversing with you on the level which will likely be about 95% of people you come across.

Additionally, as you make inroads into your teenage years, get prepared to hear that phrase 'you know everything don't you' a lot. This is normal. You will be discovering and learning things for the first time that those (who say such things) you will be talking to have heard many times before. You will naturally sound self assured about the things you are talking about and that will in their heads translate as being full of yourself because by the time you get to adulthood you will have learned so many contradictory things that thinking like you know anything at all will have become a distant memory.

Anyway, not sure if this helps or not but just live your life and accept that not getting on with grown ups will be your life now until you are in your twenties.

*Can't care less?

Consider your tone of voice or facial expression with your words. If I ask a question that ends in a low pitch, then my family assumes I'm mocking them, but I'm genuinely asking for their opinion. So I need to remember to end all my real questions with a high-pitch (even when we're all in a tired/agitated mood), I even practice very innocent (not "loaded") questions with a smile. I also need to focus opinion questions on the topic, not on the person I'm talking with. Because they assume it's a stab at them, a attack, and not a question.

Consider your attitude.

My sister talks in a "matter-of-fact" tone of voice, and she sincerely acts as if her opinions are facts. That really bugs me. I'm not nearly as confident about the world as she is, but when she makes her opinions or knowledge known, and she makes them known. She also acts like the world revolves around her. I can't describe it, other than she just... acts... so snooty. And she looks down to others. And it's in her tone of voice. And she acts like she's entitled to attention. :/


Here is where we all make a mistake. I make this mistake. I do it a whole lot, and I'm working on it. "That's an assumption you are making" sounds like it dismisses your stepdad's credibility as a person. "You assume" comes across as an insult. I say this to my grandma a whole lot more than I ever should in everyday language. Well, she does assume. But I need to leave that part out from the conversation. Maybe, instead say, "I know it comes across as this, but that's not my meaning!" Or "I understand it can be seen this way, but that's not my intention at all." It's a misunderstanding, a mis-communication. But "you assume" is a bad phrase, and it's [unfortunately] an attack on the person in casual conversation.

Also, you've singled out your stepdad in your next sentence. That's taken as an attack, too. I also single my grandma out (she's a parental figure for me), and that puts her in the spotlight. It's bad to single somebody out. "You [are the only one who does this] to me!" "Not many others [do this] to me!" That's like telling your stepdad there's something weird about him. And whatever it is, it isn't good.

Well, it's a whole lot to talk about in one post, and I hear you. When I'm confident about a subject, then I back it up with my knowledge and observations, too.

There are some better ways to word some things. At the very least, from the top of my mind, I'd suggest using phrases like, "I've observed that...," "I've noticed that...," "In such-and-such article, I read that...," "In the book, I learned that...," et cetera, things like these. They'll redirect the conversation to the topic at hand, not the person you're talking with.

Maybe someone else in this thread will chime in with some awesome solutions for you. I'm still coming up with an aspie-to-NT (and NT-to-aspie) dictionary of phrases.



Heh, that is my sister, aye aye aye, she's just one year younger than me ... what a spoiled brat... xD