Suicide.

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Neh, not being able to express yourself in the way you want seems to be the norm for this place. Lord knows it's the norm for me, that's for freaking sure. My perpetually dark moods generally doesnt help either, what with the abrasive sarcasm and the ranting.

At least in this place others understand these facts though. Sure as bloody hell cant say that about many other places.

Understandable about the need to let out emotions, too. Drawing is a good way to do it, I think. I usually just smash stuff.


As for the better or worse bit, I didnt mean in life in general, I meant in relation to the whole "gender issues" bit and related stuffs. From what you've said, it sounds like you at least dont have parents that loathe every cell in your body, or are somehow destitute (hmm, that may be the wrong word... but it's the one I'm remembering at the moment, so it'll do), or various other always-negative situations. Those others I've known do have those situations... which, I can definitely say, doesnt at all help in their quest to get what they want. At least you are able to search a bit for solutions, or even just talk to people or vent on here.... they cant even do that. They cant even START looking for solutions. Or anything else, for that matter. Other parts in their life, they're a bit more successful with, as those elements just dont interfere quite as much due to the nature of those other elements. But the gender bit.... yeah. It stomps their chances flat.

THAT is what I meant.

I forgot whatever else I was going to say, which works out well enough.

There is a case that your logic misses: when improving one's situation is impossible.

Death is nothingness; a zero. Suicide would would thus be logical when one's situation is so bad that one's life rating is negative and there is no hope of getting it above zero.

Someone who is in severe pain in the late stages of metastatic pancreatic cancer would be an example; their life would be of negative total self subjective value and there is no hope for them with current technology. Many people would agree that this person would be justified in killing themselves, and many would also agree that they ought to be eligible for assisted suicide.

Please understand that this is basically how I feel about myself. I'm in a lot of pain from gender dysphoria, to the point that my life has no value to me anymore. I only value it for what it means for others now, which isn't all that much. The shrinks and other doctors have tried a bunch of different chemical solutions to my problems with depression and nothing has helped. Also, nothing has helped my body meaningfully feminize.

The situation has to actually BE impossible though, as opposed to the person just THINKING it's impossible. When you're dealing with something like horrible cancer, yes, that can happen. But for many, MANY other things, it's very, very rare. Most people though will simply give up when they hit a certain point, even if the answer is literally standing right next to them (which they likely cant see due to allowing their depression to have total control), and thus it becomes "impossible".

I've known people in your situation. Big time gender issues, tons of depression, and a body type that "just cant do it", as they put it. Tried every doctor and every everything. Or so they thought, anyway, which is the bit that always gets me.

One of them DID end up getting what he wanted, but then he also was the one who perservered no matter what. Had he allowed the depression to take control (though he very nearly did), he would NOT have found the people that eventually ended up leading him to this. They woulda passed him by, as he would NEVER have noticed. Oh, and he was the REALLY manly sort originally. The guy coulda punched a truck up a tree, and rather looked it, too. He found the right people though, in the end (after about a bazillion tries, but hey, he kept going at it) to get him going down the track to what he wanted.

And I've had my own similar experiences with other subjects. People tend to think that something is impossible because THEIR OWN knowledge... which typically is VERY lacking, not that they ever admit it to themselves.... does not include some things, and thus those things must not exist. Which is why people tend to say "but I tried EVERYTHING", which.... well, let's just say it's ridiculously rare that that statement is actually correct. Like, "winning the lottery 3 times in a row" rare.

Hell, just the fact that your docs are trying to cure you with idiotic chemicals (why.... why would they do that? Doctors I've known would not have tried such a thing for that situation...) says that it's time to find new docs, even if you've already done so 30 times.

Frustrating? Oh yes, stuff like that is. ANd alll sorts of other negative crap. But if you not only allow your depression to consume you, but also allow it to make you feel like you really did try everything under the sun (which isnt actually possible), then indeed, you'll never, ever get what you want.

The problem with suicide, when you look at it from a purely logistic point of view without any strong emotional response or moral judgment, is that there are very few reliable methods, and most people lack access to these methods. So there is usually a pretty good chance that a suicidal person ends up making their situation worse than before, either by crippling themselves or by being institutionalized.

If your life is already hell, you really don't want to make it even worse and be left without any means to do anything about your situation. If you're paralyzed in a wheelchair or locked up in a mental instution, you can neither finish what you started, nor do you have much hope of your life ever getting better. As long as you remain in control of your own life and in reasonably good health, sudden improvements to your life situation could always happen by chance, even if the improvement is "only" the result of medication.

I've personally found that medication is as good a reason as any to enjoy your life. We're all drugging ourselves in one way or another. Does it really matter if our brains produce pleasant chemicals in response to a favorable life experiences, or if we ingest these chemicals in form of drugs? And shouldn't one be eager to try the latter if the former is not really an option for whatever reason? Especially since the right medication can also improve one's everyday situation by making it easier to deal with anything from household chores to socializing. So the most logical thing to do is to try medical drugs first, or several different drugs if necessary, and see what happens.