The Dino-Aspie Cafe (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)
I’ve never posted in here before cause I really didn't understand what your support to say, or thought that you had to know every one , but I’m hoping that something random is ok, it was brought to my attention that I was a Velociraptor right now , a dinosaur, so I thought it fitting that I post some thing. a had read a kind of poem by Ulysses S Grant the other day on the second half of our life’s , living with love and purpose, which lead to me writing my own poem and I thought I’d share it with you dino’s, for what its worth;
The second half of our lives
I feel my life is not almost over but really I'm just beginning
My battle of self discovery I think I'm winning
To have purpose is one thing, but love can be quite another
And what good is life, unshared with Each other?
If there is no hand to hold, or voice to whisper in my ear
is it then only that loneliness, not age that I should fear?
The second half of are life's an adventure still to live,
with ripening experiences we have so much to give.
Its no wonder that fall is my most very favorite season,
just watching the mature leave falling down, will tell you the Reason.
Like the leafs of autumn, are color deepens, becomes rich,
and after years of struggles, trying, we have fond are own niche.
And though good times and mistakes I've but one regret,
there is still know one to love and share a beautiful sunset.
I walk alone though my life's garden like leaves blowing in the wind,
Only waiting and longing for the moment a lover may touch my skin.
And I dream over and over of tasting his tender kiss,
And feeling his Arms Around me is not the only think I Miss.
But as I go on day by day I look unto purpose, to fill my tomorrow,
And my days are busy, filled with joy, yet night brings only sorrow.
So what of love? Would that in mid life make us complete?
Is there yet a long lost soul mate I'm destined to meet?
Or did in fear I miss my chance many years ago, living in a shadow
Failing to communicate, housebound, looking only from the window
And how can love and trust be made from a heart of fear?
When it's only been in that life's second half that I'm mature enough to be sincere.
Finally able to use my words to explain my needs and be that whole person,
I'm not wanting to miss the experience of a relationship for this I am certain.
As for love and purpose, who really knows life's little mystery?
A hundred years from now our life destiny, like the dinosaurs, will be just history.
Ccflowergirl
(Cindy)
Last edited by ccflowergirl on 08 Aug 2008, 3:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
CanyonWind
Veteran
Joined: 11 Sep 2006
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,656
Location: West of the Great Divide
Rockslides in the High Sierras
Rattling in the dark
Mountains rise
Mountains fall
So can I.
_________________
They murdered boys in Mississippi. They shot Medgar in the back.
Did you say that wasn't proper? Did you march out on the track?
You were quiet, just like mice. And now you say that we're not nice.
Well thank you buddy for your advice...
-Malvina
I had my gall bladder out about a year and a half ago after it failed spectacularly. It took me quite a while to recover too-- I picked up some infections in the hospital. I hope you do better-- I understand I was unusually ill, as I was confined to bed with it and unable to sit up for more than a few minutes before it came out.
I'm 25, but terribly creaky. Bad hap. Sore shoulders. Rheumatism setting in where I have old injuries-- hand, feet, knee, etc. I am working on getting younger with age. As a matter of fact, I've decided to purchase a trike. And I just keep going to grad school, so I still have school. And that involves working with kids and children's books. So perhaps time really is cyclical?
How did I cope? I pretended to cope. I think Aspies must do a lot of pretending. Since the idea of Asperger's hadn't yet entered my mind, I thought I was unique with my odd contralto monotone, boyishness, clever and odd way of thinking, extreme sensitivities, etc. I had my own priorities which didn't always match those of whoever was in charge at the moment, and though I seldom outright rebelled, (too much chance of a beating) I learned to be sneaky and sly. I learned to run away. I learned there are no material things worth being treated badly and not loved for who you really are, so I abandoned all I owned and walked away, many times. Since discovering I am apparently not the only one, and not only am I not at fault, but neither are they, I am just now learning to cope in my final years.
sinsboldly
Veteran
Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
Welcome to the Cafe, PineComb.
I feel the same awe and bewilderment over how to fit in enough to not be completely ostracized. I have recently passed ten years since I have been playing with a fuller deck (diagnosed) but I know some things will not in this life be resolved, simply because I can not adhere to a relationship with anyone.
Come on in and have a cup of tea, if you like.
Merle
_________________
Alis volat propriis
State Motto of Oregon
sinsboldly
Veteran
Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
I've been "lurking" around on Wrongplanet for over a year now and have finally decided to try and be a bit more social about it (no guarantees though). Three years ago my life started spiraling out of control suddenly, when I suddenly started "melting down", having more than the usual amount of communication issues, and left me feeling confused. I had major issues with it in my teens and then in my twenties, but all had been "mostly" quiet for years. I would not say that I was ever confused for NT, but because at the time I worked in IT and was talented, my "eccentricities and bluntness" was overlooked as part of what you deal with in that field. Where it really became obvious and bad was right after I finished graduate school retraining to a more social field of work. All of my learning disabilities (I knew that I had) converged, plus the meltdowns -- it just got ugly.
A friend, who is an MH professional, had whispered in my ear before that she thought I had autism, so I spent the time, money and effort being tested.
We expected the report to come back stating the I was on the spectrum (probably HFA or Asperger's level); however, we were wrong, the level of severity was a hug slap in the face and sent both my husband and I reeling for several months. It explained so much, but at the same time, I spent days, weeks, months even trying to figure out how it had been missed if I was this bad for 50 years. The best we all came up with was that I have always been a master coper, and after stepping back through my life, there was always someone there to help me and mentor me (always) -- teach me a different way, explain it a different way, something.
The psychologist said there could be many reasons why I went into a regression, but she stands by her diagnosis and believes that while I can volunteer, I will most likely not be ever able to handle working in the career field again.
So, glad to be here... I will try to be somewhat friendly.
ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,478
Location: Long Island, New York
A friend, who is an MH professional, had whispered in my ear before that she thought I had autism, so I spent the time, money and effort being tested.
We expected the report to come back stating the I was on the spectrum (probably HFA or Asperger's level); however, we were wrong, the level of severity was a hug slap in the face and sent both my husband and I reeling for several months. It explained so much, but at the same time, I spent days, weeks, months even trying to figure out how it had been missed if I was this bad for 50 years. The best we all came up with was that I have always been a master coper, and after stepping back through my life, there was always someone there to help me and mentor me (always) -- teach me a different way, explain it a different way, something.
The psychologist said there could be many reasons why I went into a regression, but she stands by her diagnosis and believes that while I can volunteer, I will most likely not be ever able to handle working in the career field again.
So, glad to be here... I will try to be somewhat friendly.
What was the level of severity you received? I was given Aspergers diagnosis but at moderate to severe level. I have burnt out or regressed in my 50's but the diagnoses a couple of years ago explained why most of my life happened the way it did. I knew I was different but had no idea how much and how much coping I was doing. It remained less noticible in me because I am more the shutdown then meltdown type.
Welcome to wrong planet
_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity
It is Autism Acceptance Month
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
Welcome to wrong planet
Classic Autism, non-verbal (at times), catatonia, (severity level 3). I have known about my ADHD - Inattentive since my late 20's when my boys were diagnosed and the Dr. looked at me and said, "Don't wonder where your boys got it, you are worse than they will ever consider being". Sad, when a doctor is testing your children who are bouncing off the walls and he doesn't even have to test you. I knew about my learning disabilities since I was a child and learned to work around them (and blamed them on being a preemie -- and surviving it in that day and age). I cannot tell you how many times I had to take Algebra in college to get through it. Even though through all of that, I have a Master's Degree and technical training equivalent to a Master's (if I'd had my BS at the time, I would've been awarded the degree).
Truthfully, I am glad it was never caught earlier because I believe it would have limited me in ways that I couldn't even imagine. I also believe it would have limited my two sons - one of them is a dead ringer for me. He prefers to stay un-diagnosed for fear of limiting his career.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
feeling cold |
23 Mar 2024, 4:14 pm |
Feeling gaslit |
03 Feb 2024, 1:42 pm |
Feeling Resentful |
11 Apr 2024, 1:43 pm |
Irrational feeling of injustice
in Bipolar, Tourettes, Schizophrenia, and other Psychological Conditions |
09 Mar 2024, 8:24 am |