getting asked if you are ok

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i am never asked if i am OK because i never do not seem OK. people do not worry about me. they worry more about what i think of them. they are wrong to do so. i do not think about them at all.

Here in North America, when someone asks you if you're alright, it's because they think there's something wrong.

I used to get asked all the time in elementary and high school, and even when I was in college in my early 30s. It was a good friend who asked me if something was wrong, and I said "No, why?", and he said it was because I looked sad. I looked at myself in the mirror while my face was relaxed, and I noticed that the corners of my mouth turn downward and make me look sad even when I'm not, so I started practicing getting my muscles to keep the corners of my mouth turned upward a little bit so I don't look sad. People don't ask me if I'm ok anymore.

When people ask if you are ok they do not mean that literally, it means that you are giving an impression that you are not ok.

Why do they do that? I think since you are giving an impression that you are not ok they are worried about you and want to help you. If you say that you are not ok they will try and help you. If you say you are ok they might think several things 1. They misinterpreted you and you are ok 2. You are not ok but do not want their help . At that point they might say they are sorry and change the topic of the conversation. Why say that instead of saying "I know you are not ok but are rejecting my help". They are trying to not hurt your and their own feelings by not directly talking about the rejection.

Sometimes before they change the topic they will ask "Are you sure?". In that case they think you want help but can't admit it.

Answering this thread because yes I am asked that a lot.

I work hard. It comes naturally me because I'm in a very technical job that requires large amount of data processing, data analysis, report writing etcetera. I become very focussed and make a point of cutting the world out while I plough away at whatever it is I'm doing. I become entirely oblivious to social interactions going on around me but if I get interrupted I am quite abrupt and can get quite anxious if the distraction does not go away Its quite common for people to ask me if I'm 'ok' if they don't know me well. For those people that do get to know me they understand what I do so only start asking if I'm ok when I've been buried in the task at hand for several days.

Thanks for the information. I hadn't realized that.

Sounds as if things would have been a bit more straightforward for me, at least in this respect, had I been born on your side of the pond!

And I did not realize that meaning was limited to North America

Also have been asked this a lot, presumably, as others have stated, because I look like something is wrong when it's not, or I have not said anything in awhile. I also find the question, especially when phrased "Are you OK?" to be generally annoying because it usually does not seem to be a genuine inquiry into my internal welfare.

If I had just fallen down and someone asked it, that would be fine and reasonable. But when it's for the other reasons, then I usually feel like they are asking (like someone else here said) because they are concerned I am about to go off some kind of deep end and they are mostly really worried about themselves. Like it's is a covert way of saying, "Your emotional 'slip' is showing. Try not to look so glum and bum everyone else out."

But until rather recently when asked, I would just say, "yes" or, "no" and then possibly offer a long and unwelcome explanation of "why", assuming, incorrectly, that the person was seeking genuine information about me.

Yes, it happened quite often, even by total strangers, like a cashier at a store asking me if I was upset (or something like that), but I wasn't upset.

It happens to me too. I also get told to smile a lot. I was told it was because of flat affect.

No-one was saying it was, were they? I wasn't.

I want to know...how do you answer, "What's up?"? What are they asking you, exactly? I never know how to respond to it.

Yeah it's usually that^ or else they are bored and wanting to hear about someone else's problems for entertainment (or something to gossip about).

I get this all the time! Mostly people think I look sad or otherwise distressed. Mostly I'm not and I'm just resting or deep in my own thoughts.

Even though stated as an interrogative, "What's up?" is not really a question. It is just a way of saying, "Hi!". So any greeting that is comfortable to you is a good answer.

Examples of answers to "What's up?"
"Hi!"
"Hey, man, how you doing?" (also not a real question)
"Hi, How are you?"
"Just chillin', what's up with you?"
"Hey, s'up bro! How's it going?"

After this, it becomes more challenging: what to say next.....?

I normally get asked if I'm okay when I'm spacing out. I find it hard to communicate when I space out. This often makes me seem way less okay than I actually am. When I say that I am okay they often assume that I'm not okay and continue to ask.