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Keniichi
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14 Jul 2014, 4:22 am

Which do you consider yourself and why?
While I work in a 'clothing/fashion store', I do consider myself a tomboy. However: because I work in a clothing/fashion store, I have noticed that the really girly girls, have no problem fitting in, vs. the tomboys. Which brings me to another question....Do girly girl Aspies/people with ASD have certain things easier in life, vs. the tomboys with AS/ASD?


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BirdInFlight
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14 Jul 2014, 6:25 am

I think I've always been a strange mix of both. When I was a child I was girly in the sense that I did enjoy being in pretty clothes -- and yet I also loved boyish games such as playing "cowboys/Wild West outlaws" (we still had cap guns in those days). As a teen I was girly getting interested in makeup and romance and boys -- yet I was also a budding musician and songwriter becoming intensely interested in recording and the physics behind it. I started being interested in electric guitars and other equipment, stuff that only boys and men were into. I would go into a music gear store and it was wall to wall men trying out basses and amps, etc. My few female friends could not relate to that part of me.

I also was handy with DIY as my dad used to show me how to do things around the house. I can only do minor repairs and maintenance, nothing elaborate or expert, but I like knowing I'm handy with practical things around the house that are often given to men to take care of.

So, I'm both girly and tomboyish. I'm fairly feminine yet I'm interested in and capable of stuff that you normally expect to be a male area of concern.

.



kraftiekortie
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14 Jul 2014, 7:41 am

That's a virtuous woman!



BirdInFlight
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14 Jul 2014, 8:46 am

:lol:



Girlwithaspergers
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14 Jul 2014, 9:59 am

I'm the same way--Mixed. :D


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MjrMajorMajor
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14 Jul 2014, 10:00 am

Both, also.



CockneyRebel
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14 Jul 2014, 10:36 am

I'm a tomboy and I have Gender Dysphoria. I'm a male trapped in a female body and I identify as Male in most of the Internet communities that I'm a member of, except for Facebook and Points2Shop. I do have the option of hiding my gender on those two sites, though. I feel blessed to have an androgynous appearance and I refuse to pluck or wax my eyebrows. One time when I bought myself a woman's small facial hair shaver, my mum asked me if she wanted her to do my eyebrows and I told her no thanks.

I'm a tomboy in more of a 60s sense that I have the dress and appearance of a male Mod when the weather and temperature allows it. I also have a strong preference for clothes that are similar to what The Kinks wore on and off stage in the 60s until Pete Quaife left the band permanently which makes things even more confusing for the conventional folks, which is what I like. I like it when people can't tell my gender and the comeback that I'm thinking of using is, "That's for me to know and for you to find out."


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jfc_csc
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14 Jul 2014, 12:47 pm

Both.



WitchsCat
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14 Jul 2014, 2:33 pm

I'm girly physically and a tomboy personality-wise.

I've been a tomboy pretty much all of my life, playing video games, collecting toy cars and action figures, and ordering McDonald's Happy Meals with boys-only toys in them (I did this all the time as a kid, though I outgrown this now). I've also taken interest in my fiancé's DeLorean, and recently went to a couple of car shows and a parade with him.

I didn't develop girly traits until I was a preteen. I would then start dressing more feminine (though I would sometimes still wear jeans), wear jewelry, and shave and pluck to keep up my feminine appearance.


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Eureka13
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14 Jul 2014, 4:14 pm

BirdInFlight wrote:
I think I've always been a strange mix of both. When I was a child I was girly in the sense that I did enjoy being in pretty clothes -- and yet I also loved boyish games such as playing "cowboys/Wild West outlaws" (we still had cap guns in those days). As a teen I was girly getting interested in makeup and romance and boys -- yet I was also a budding musician and songwriter becoming intensely interested in recording and the physics behind it. I started being interested in electric guitars and other equipment, stuff that only boys and men were into. I would go into a music gear store and it was wall to wall men trying out basses and amps, etc. My few female friends could not relate to that part of me.

I also was handy with DIY as my dad used to show me how to do things around the house. I can only do minor repairs and maintenance, nothing elaborate or expert, but I like knowing I'm handy with practical things around the house that are often given to men to take care of.

So, I'm both girly and tomboyish. I'm fairly feminine yet I'm interested in and capable of stuff that you normally expect to be a male area of concern.

.


This is almost me exactly, except I've never cared for "girly" clothing - with the exception of some lingerie, I've not found hardly any clothing designed for women that is both comfortable and flattering. So I tend to wear mostly men's clothes (except for jeans - I do still have a girly shape, after all!), but I wear my hair and nails long, and I wear makeup and earrings (any other jewelry tends to be irritating in some way).

Also, although I was deeply into music in my high school and college years, I was way more into anything with a motor and wheels. :)



downbutnotout
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15 Jul 2014, 7:42 am

I would have qualified as a tomboy when I was younger due to being outdoorsy, messy, and totally disinterested in dolls and clothes. I don't know about now, since it's not like I'm into sports, boy clothes, or anything like that to fill the space that would usually be filled with stereotypical girl interests.

Plain? Yeah, that sounds about right.



Keniichi
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16 Jul 2014, 12:29 am

I have been told that I'm a guy going through puberty, by my 'brothers' (guy friends). It can be annoying at times, but at other times it can be pretty awesome!


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16 Jul 2014, 8:59 am

(sigh) Still? This is still a conversation in the US? I don't even know what people can mean by 'tomboy' anymore. Title IX is over 40 years old. There's a whole universe of women who're more aggressively athletic than sporty men were in 1972. Eight-year-old girls are considered weird and a bit soft if they don't play soccer or do some other sport. Nobody is encouraging daintiness in girl children, to my knowledge. The STEM world is killing itself trying to devise sci/math/engr programs for Girl Scouts so that they can keep on getting grants from the National Science Foundation -- this kind of thing is required. The 1990s welcomed dreary flannel and gothy makeup as a universal dress code for boys and girls. Everyone hangs around watching World Cup.

Downvote for mid-20th-c gender rigidity.



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18 Jul 2014, 4:28 pm

I was very tomboyish as a child, even to the point where I assumed I was a boy based purely on my interests (no, I'm not transgendered - I'm very comfortable with my sex and gender identity). As I've gotten older, I have become a bit more girly in terms of my appearance and interests, but I'm still very firmly in the "tomboy" category.

I am not aware of any problems I've had fitting in because of my tomboyishness. I suppose I had some trouble identifying with other girls (mostly "girly girls") because it seemed that their pursuits were largely interpersonal and social. Of course the girls liked sports and Pokemon and music and science and whatever, but when it came to their friendships, it was very multifaceted and a lot more complex than male to male relationships within that age group. As for the tomboys, it seemed they were similarly interested in more practical pursuits and their social circles weren't anymore complex than ky own. But then, that's mostly non autistic folk. Autistic girly girls, I found, were usually okay to identify with but I think it was simply a case of a clash of interests. Even so, plenty of my childhood friends were very girly and I still managed to get along.

As an adult, I don't prioritise my appearance as much as some women I know. I don't wear make up, unless its for a very special occasion, and even then its usually only eye make up. I tend to wear dark or neutral colours and usually try to dress for comfort above aesthetics. I've noticed that I do garner some more attention from both males and females when I dress up, but otherwise I have no real reason to believe that my gender expression (or whatever you wanna call it) has resulted in any advantages or disadvantages. I suppose I don't spend as much on make up *shrugs*.

Well, okay. I suppose a strange advantage is that because my social circles have a lot of men in them, I don't generally feel alienated from men or that men are difficult to engage in. I think as much as some dudes see girls as mysterious creatures that are difficult to understand, so do many women see men and I think this is ultimately the result of only having friends composed of your own gender. Then again, plenty of "girly girls" do have a wide circle of male friends. Its just that some of my earliest friendships are the result of having predominantly "masculine" interests, so I've learned a lot younger that guys are pretty much the same as women (at least mentally) - they just need a little more time to mature.



fossil_n
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19 Jul 2014, 4:12 pm

Neither. Not both, neither. And I am not particularly a fan of either of these stereotypes, especially the girly stereotype, and especially their lesbian community counterparts - butch and femme.

Seriously, why does being terrible at sports and not particularly fit mean that I have to wear makeup and like dressing up?



SparklyJacket
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20 Jul 2014, 3:38 am

I went through a spell of I preferring boys clothes and wanted to be good at sports like boys were. Unfortunately I have poor co-ordination and balance and came last in EVERY race I ever did.

I had no interest in having my hair done or my nails painted like other girls and I've never really been able to wear make up. I'm happy to dress-up on occasions now but when that's done, there's nothing more that I like than coming home and putting on a baggy shirt and trousers. I tend to think that is more about needing to be comfortable than actually being 'tomboy' and my earlier wanting to be like the boys was more about not being ready to grow up than genuinely wanting to be a boy.