Why "Neurodiversity" is wrong

Post Reply New Topic

I don't do everything in my power to be normal....but I still think advocacy is important, does that mean it does harm if I advocate for rights/accommodations for autistics because I am not doing everything in my power to fit in?

And you know all of this how?...are you psychic and picked up they where sent by 'security'? It is possible they where just wandering by...or maybe its part of store policy they are supposed to try and be helpful, make sure everyone's finding everything ok or they saw you and thought it looked like you might be having some trouble...so approached you because of that. I mean they say 'can I help you' to perfectly normal neurotypicals to. Were they actually rude or anything?

Hmmm, my own most frequent problem in stores it that they have this damnable muzak (especially the kind with a throbbing base keeping the tempo) and I am trying to find a product on the shelf or read the technical stuff in the ridiculous fine print and can't do it because they are jamming up my thinking with crappy muzak. But so far as I know I have never been profiled as a shop lifter or the like. In fact if I knew any sort of mannerisms that would do that I might practice them so that I could finally get the attention of an associate who might tell me where they keep the x or y or z that I am looking for .

But seriously, could anyone here explain to me what sort of characteristics they are using in their profile. Knowing what actions or demeanor they are using as a key could be useful in deflecting or avoiding suspicion. Actually, when I say "....so far as I know I have never been profiled ...." In all honesty I probably might not know because I am just that bad at reading body language and would probably take their words at their literal face value. Truth be told I am so bad at discerning the scarcasm of body language, and tone or inflection of voice, that on some occasions it is minutes afterwards before I even suspect that there was even an attempt to be snide or sarcastic.

On one occasion the person who intended to slight me, just blurted out a couple minutes later, "What's the matter with you? I just gave you my best cut and you ignored it!".

And on another occasion a crew was working on pouring my new concrete driveway, and knowing that I was a college professor one of the workmen, asked me "So what sort of thing should I study if I go to the university over there...". I responded that from seeing how he worked the concrete and it just seemed to go right where he wanted it, that a skill like that would serve him well if he went to the art department as his skill in manipulating material and understanding of the nature of the material would serve him well in things like sculpting and would be appreciated by the instructors there. One of the other workmen, laughed at him and said "You gave him a joke question, and he gave you a straight answer". It was only then that I realized that he had been "ribbing me", but I still stood by my answer, and confirmed that I really meant it.

So, maybe I am just aspie/gullible/naive , enough to miss these sorts of things.

Look, the woman came running around a corner at me. I'm a middle-aged woman, and I've done a lot of shopping in my days. I've been asked if someone could help me a million times, and this was not like the usual. I can't explain it any better than that. Either take my word for it, or don't.

Well that is weird if they actually ran.

I think it is very difficult question. I am totally ok with not wanting to everything in one's power to be normal but I cannot help but feel that doing everything in your power to be normal will make it easier to advocate for our basic rights. As I noted, I feel it is a sort tightrope walk between using autism as a crutch to excuse bad, hostile behavior on one side and refusing to advocate for your rights as an autistic or aspie on the other. For me, falling to far to one side or the other is often the most fundamental challenge.

Personally, I'd much prefer it if society accepted us the way we are rather than expect us to do everything in our power to be normal.

What is normal anyway?

I would argue that many cognitive phenotypes considered "Autistic" today are much closer to what was considered normal in the 19th century than what's considered "normal" today.

To put it differently : in a world gone mad, it's the rare sane ones who are called insane...

But in doing everything in our power to be normal, to me that negates the point of advocating for these basic rights, if the point is to gain more respect/representation/understanding in society as we are. I certainly do not agree with using autism as an excuse for bad, hostile behavior...and I don't even do that, though meltdowns can get pretty messy but that is a little different than having an agressive personality and thinking its ok to hurt others with no regard for how it effects anyone and then saying 'oh its my autism'.

Yep. Thats what we were told to do when I was a salesclerk. If they suspect that you're a shoplifter they will send someone to ask you if you "need help". They cant be rude. But they want you to know that they are watching you.

I agree. Every single people on the spectrum needs to learn to adapt. The best people can learn to adapt and conform with other people, but they still hold true to their morals and values. In life, you have to be likable. That's not always easy but it's true.

Adopting, compromising, learning new skills whatever phrase you prefer is the correct thing to do. Doing all those things with little or no reciprocity and recognition makes which is the situation now will make you a slave and will destroy you eventually. With great will power some can do it almost if not flawlessly for years or decades but that only makes the eventual crash worse. Of course some just do not have that much ability to do that at all.

All we ask is for is what happens in most successful human relationships of any kind at least some compromise from the other people. If other people can't handle us, leave us be instead of trying to make us like you or trying destroying us out of pure spite. Call it nuerodiversity, fairness, or just being a civilized person.

I have seen all these other groups make gains in this regard some very substantial in my lifetime. Just do not like the substantial sentiment that we unlike these others got to "give" with no "take" in return. Somewhere along the line I missed or have blacked out the part where I landed here from the "wrong planet" and deserve this.

And how does one define 'being likeable' I try and be civil but there is no way to control whether someones going to like you or not. Also society needs to adapt as well, of course people with autism have to find ways of adapting somewhat but society cant just refuse to meet half way and expect us all to just magically gain the ability to act neurotypical while spending twice the effort.

I find that attitude very disturbing and reminiscent of the most totalitarian cults or ideologies.







Indeed. Trying to conform did not make me likable. It only made me feel empty inside.

I prefer to be my eccentric self and be truly appreciated only by other eccentrics.

Being yourself should not stop you from being successful. You just have to find other ways for people to take you seriously if you don't wish to conform to their standards.

I find that attitude very disturbing and reminiscent of the most totalitarian cults or ideologies.

And how does one define 'being likeable' I try and be civil but there is no way to control whether someones going to like you or not.

Indeed. Trying to conform did not make me likable. It only made me feel empty inside.

I prefer to be my eccentric self and be truly appreciated only by other eccentrics.

Being yourself should not stop you from being successful. You just have to find other ways for people to take you seriously if you don't wish to conform to their standards.[/quote]

I would suggest you read the rest of my post if you think I am being totalitarian. I don't think being likable and being my Autistic self as polar opposites. And I can if possible grow and add likable skills. I think you are confusing the situation in 2015 wherby it is expected we must do all the adopting which is is wrong and self destructive, to situational adopting done by both parties in an attempt to accomplish something that would benefit both sides.

if you are compromising and feel empty inside you are doing too much of it in the wrong situations. Figuring this out is damm difficult and takes years of experience. If anybody tells you they got it all figured out they are lying.

I would suggest you read the rest of my post if you think I am being totalitarian. I don't think being likable and being my Autistic self as polar opposites. And I can if possible grow and add likable skills. I think you are confusing the situation in 2015 wherby it is expected we must do all the adopting which is is wrong and self destructive, to situational adopting done by both parties in an attempt to accomplish something that would benefit both sides.

if you are compromising and feel empty inside you are doing too much of it in the wrong situations. Figuring this out is damm difficult and takes years of experience. If anybody tells you they got it all figured out they are lying.