F*** my high school leadership

Post Reply New Topic

I really don't know where else to put his, but I have quite a lot to say.

I hate high school, and I hate everything about it; school isn't even about learning. Honestly, every day I see a bunch of narcissists obsess over their personal status on social networks which I have no interest in partaking in (I have a FB, Twitter and IG that I don't use very frequently). My complete lack of "social skills" in the school environment leaves me as an outsider and helps contribute to my chronic depression.

However, there's something even scarier that's brewing in my high school. In yet ANOTHER attempt to somehow get test scores and related junk up, my school has actually instituted a leadership group. ALL of the people who are a part of this group are extroverted neurotypicals and fit the mold of a certain "role model" that I loathe. The school practically tells the rest of the populace to kiss their ass. They get uniforms, and all that s**t and always express their "school pride" (something I'll never partake in). It's incredible. I'm the young autistic male stuck in SpEd and suffering depression and "living in the ghetto", whereas these people who probably aren't nearly as intelligent (and may themselves seriously warrant some kind of diagnosis, believe me) are nonetheless paraded because hooray, they conform!

I really hate the leadership. They represent an image that has been constantly propagated for years and years. They want every individual to be "socializing". They want all individuals to adapt to the school environment whether they like it or not. I've been approached by SpEd teachers and have been told to go to crowds of people while I was hanging out by myself (I avoid eating lunch outside now, I just stay in classrooms). This entire brand of narcissism and bowing down is scaring me.

That's all I have to say. Feel free to speak. This is Wrong Planet, not a high school.

This leadership group sounds like a terrible idea. The uniforms and 'school pride' stuff are definite red flags.

Although now that I think about it, I wouldn't want to be in the leadership group. They'll be the target of a lot of resentment.

I think you're doing the right thing, eating lunch in a classroom. Avoiding all social interactions during school breaks by hiding in an empty office was the best thing I ever did for my mental health.

I'd ignore all teachers urging you to participate in crowd events. I got a lot of that during high school, and it only stopped when I made it emphatically clear to the most senior teacher that I was only at school to learn.

If you really wanted to learn about socializing, I'd recommend getting a book on body language from the local library, or something like that. Trying to teach autistic people socialization by forcing them to attend crowded social events is like teaching swimming by throwing non-swimmers into the ocean. You could try explaining that to your teachers, but I doubt it'll work. I really have little respect for teachers.

The emphasis on leadership in modern culture is incredibly stupid. If everyone is leading, who is being lead?

As far as I can see, the only thing this ridiculous leadership group is fit for is mockery. Being generally sarcastic about this silly situation won't do you much good, but it'll probably be better for your health to be laughing at stupid people then hating them.

This sums up about half my grievances with Western culture (the other half is the worship of the self and superficiality). It's completely inane.

There's also the unfortunate implication of autistic people being shunned and left out as well and of course being treated as second class citizens. As far as I'm aware of none of the leadership people have to deal with SpED or anything like that.

Well, that certainly does sound exactly like highschool.
I myself would probably tell them to "F*** off." ... But, then I was suspended from school for "creating an anarchy." Apparently others saw me and followed my accidental leadership... but isn't leadership what they wanted

I don't have much in the way of advice, sorry.
I'm sorry you also have to deal with the senseless irrationality of school.

The whole "school spirit" thing is basically the same thing as patriotism, but at a smaller scale.

Hansgrohe, I agree with a lot of what you said. We live in a country where the stress of busywork and pressure to conform has led to several school shootings, and yet no one has thought to change the school system, just to blame the students. I think Marilyn Manson said the best thing when asked what would he say to the Columbine killers, he responded he'd say nothing, just listen.

There is so little listening to students in our school, they just send students who refuse to confrom to special ed. Then those students are psychologically manipulated to think something is wrong with them, not their school. I've read a lot about psychological techniques used to break people like psychological torture to try and understand why my experience with high school made me so psychologically screwed up. It's shocking how many of those techniques are used against noncompliant students, and students in general.

Sleep deprivation by having students get up at the crack of dawn to get to school, homework that takes hours leaving little time for students to develop their own interests. Using the threat of punishment to create constant anxiety in students. Depriving students access to basic bodily needs like using the washroom. Holding students against their will after school in detention. These things wear you down over time.

I was told once after from the exhaustion of constant sleep deprivation I fell asleep towards the end of school by a teacher, I should be grateful they woke me up or I'd be trapped in school the whole night. The next day I was pacing, when a friend asked me why, I explained I was told I risked being left after school all night if I didn't stay awake. This is the same behavior of a psychologically tormented prisoner, the demands on students to dissociate from their bodily needs left thousands of students with PTSD. I had become so constantly dissociated I lost touch with reality. I don't remember any of what I experienced in high school outside the trauma, and blessedly I'm finally starting to forget most of that.

Our schools no longer are about education. More and more parents are homeschooling their kids with the help of the internet. All the schools have left are crying that homeschooled kids will lack socialization. They really mean they will lack indoctrination. Students are being pushed to suicide or reacting out violently after years of psychological abuse, and nothing changes.

Yeah I remember all this and then some. Believe it or not, I daresay I went to a school that took this precept even farther than yours. It was one of those schools on the "national top 200 list", towards the bottom mind you and honestly the administration would've saccrificed every last kid for even slightly higher test scores. The teachers were by and large actually great, but everyone worked under such absurd pressure from the top that I often felt just as sorry for them as I did for many of my peers. Their mascot was the knight and in retrospect, it was even more militaristic than it seemed to me at the time. Everyone in our uniforms marched around in drum lines. Indoors. Sleep deprivation wasn't enough, three years on and I'm still totally used to one meal a day. A common myth among anyone who's been there is that my HS was initially designed as a prison, there wasn't one square room save for an extra wing; the original building was a complete maze that even the teachers were confounded by - they were late almost as often as students. The windows in classroms lucky enough to get any were practically gunslits. And since this is Colorado I'm writing about, the security was paranoid beyond beleif; we were that school that turned a geocache project into a bomb scare. Security cameras on every corner, principals on golf carts sharing a set of Motorola talkabouts with city police... I could go on.

I think the most important thing I can say to you is that Guantanamo-model education didn't quite kill me. Three years in that bunker of a school made me intent on scrambling my way towards college no matter what, I still am. As crazy as the notion seems from where I'm typing this I still beleive I'll make it.

Sounds horrible... Where I'm from, there actually is a school that was actually meant to be a prison, but they changed it to a school during construction. So, the only windows are at the front of the building. Where the cellblocks were originally being built, they built classrooms... the classroom walls are very much different from the walls of the rest of the building, rather shoddily and haphazardly thrown together (and extremely thin). they even decided to leave the metal fences in the cafeteria...
The school's name was Phoebus, often nicknamed Phobia. The atmosphere around that school was depressing, like the life was being sucked out of you.
But, the difference is that Phoebus never had good education standards.

Yeah, leadership in schools is always overemphasized. For one thing, leaders need followers. For another, not everyone is suited for extroverted, social leadership, and that's a good thing. But schools (and Girl Scouts, which is a shame) seem to demand that everyone be an extroverted leader.

Holy crud, I wasn't expecting these kinds of strong responses, but thanks.

@ViolentYoshi - May I take the time to agree with you? That's actually my main issue (and should be something that the AS and so community should consider); the education system. It's outdated and it favors a particular kind of person. No one's actually thought of changing how it works beyond testing and Common Core and other "reforms" that are bound to fall flat because they run in the same circle.

I also agree with your stance on Special ED - For many (like me), it's actually a gigantic beast that I sadly need to be a part of. It's actually quite a shame how there's so much manipulation and psychological torture that goes on in schools that I think calling it "education" is a shame to the concept of education itself. Honestly, after so many years being in the education system (as well as being in SpED without an actual diagnosis - I wasn't diagnosed with AS until 2010, but was put there in 2005, and my AS diagnosis is while accurate, foggy at best for reasons I won't say), I have to say I feel violated. I almost feel I'm stripped of a human right; the right to not be forced with labels that I don't like. It's incredible how the term "learning disability" actually has mainstream use, even though people with AS, etc actually have advantages as well (not to mention how many bored extrovert NTs I can point out in one class with failing grades). Disgusting, is all I have to say. It's worse that in a sense they really do try to "cure" you.

Simply put: special ed largely fails because instead of actually understanding the needs of the student, it's mostly based on putting them through fire and letting their grades and so do the talking. Never mind the potential psychological and emotional harm that it brings. Maybe one day I'll post how the education system and special ED nearly killed me, and I know I'm not alone. Thank you for sharing.

@cberg - Oh my god. I've heard of awful and totalitarian schools (and mine's is getting worse), but that's just... absurd. Guantanamo-style education is sadly accurate. It's a real freaking shame that the psyches and minds of many students are being standardized for completely ridiculous testing standards which in the end mean absolutely nothing. The education system is f****d beyond belief.

I dare say that I've also heard of a school (in Tennessee) that a friend told me about where the absolute mess-ups go (and sadly to say a lot of people on the spectrum go there). A lot of security guards and the whole thing is a prison by design and is really bleak and hopeless. I've heard of other schools where a separate building for "certain" students are made and they're holed up there. It's pretty much a mark for death. Thankfully, my high school is not THAT bad, but I can't imagine how bad it is for others.

Wow, quite a lot I said. There are blatant threats to the autistic community (Autism Speaks), but really the entire education system itself is arguably anti-autistic, and it seems we can all vouch for that. I think that's all I need to say.

[quote="Hansgrohe"]
Simply put: special ed largely fails because instead of actually understanding the needs of the student, it's mostly based on putting them through fire and letting their grades and so do the talking. Never mind the potential psychological and emotional harm that it brings.

In a meeting about my IEP, people often argued that I must not need accommodations because I get good grades. The amount of effort and energy and struggle it takes to cope with that and maintain a decent work ethic...

On the "crack of dawn" thing: I have had days where you could watch the sunrise begin while walking to first period. Starting in 5th grade.

All that school is to me now is blocked out memories, that I don't dare recall.

This song has meant a lot to me:

"New blood joins this earth,
And quickly he's subdued.
Through constant pained disgrace
The young boy learns their rules.

With time the child draws in.
This whipping boy done wrong.
Deprived of all his thoughts
The young man struggles on and on.

He's known a vow unto his own,
That never from this day
His will they'll take away.

What I've felt,
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown.
Never be.
Never see.
Won't see what might have been.

What I've felt,
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown.
Never free.
Never me.
So I dub thee unforgiven...
...
You labelled me,
I'll label you.
So I dub thee unforgiven."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jKjTNu6iQA

I LOVED Unforgiven when I was in high school! The album it's from (Metallica's self-titled CD, the one with the coiled snake on the cover) came out when I was a sophomore. Enter Sandman, the first single, was a VERY popular dance song. One element of the "dance" was when they sing "Take my hand..." you took the hand of your bf/gf and then when "...we're off to never never land" was sung you'd jerk it away. A couple times I jerked too hard, and my gf got a twisted shoulder.

Anyway, yeah, I think even the cover of that album perfectly represented high school, just a solid black with "Metallica" in silver in one corner and the snake in the other. I highly recommend Metallica, that album and ...And Justice For All. Blackened from AJFA is probably the best liked Metallica track of all time, maybe tied with Enter Sandman. Metallica now has their own label and they have ownership of their song catalog (unusual in the music industry) and of course the label is called Blackened Records.

High school really messed a lot of people up, and this was before the testing craze turned it into a cram-and-forget session meant to pump up test scores at the expense of student sanity. My HS was built in the mid 60s and it had all the windows high up and very narrow, the only eye level windows were narrow slits in the classroom doors and the teachers usually covered them. It was reinforced concrete with a thin veneer of cheap brick. Even the cafeteria didn't have much in the way of windows.

I think they had the 60s social upheaval in mind, and were trying to head off unrest by making it as prisonlike as possible. In the 50s high schools had large windows at eye level and the cafeterias had plenty of sunlight, but then the unrest arrived and suddenly the buildings became more like prisons. And then, after Columbine, the schools became pretty much closed door prisons where students only saw sunlight during PE.

These "Leadership Groups" seem suspiciously like a certain brown-shirted "Youth Corps" that was popular in certain parts of Northern Europe from the mid-1930s to about 1945.

Do you happen to know the German word for "leader?"

Yeah, it translates thusly:
Leader = Führer