Why does dating have to be a game?

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Is that an actual rule that you have to use or more of a strategy that might be in your advantage that you could choose to use.

It's like, there are different openings in chess but there's no rule saying you have to use a particular one, they're simply stragegies available to you.

No, that's because Jjancee (tarantella) loves to insult every breathing male here on WP, 90% of her posts consist of attacking guys - sometimes without any reason.
For her, every guy on earth struggling in dating = a guy with a repulsive and horrible character or loser. For her, social skills and autism are never causes of the struggle.

^^^^ a person can only look inside for so much to figure out where things are going wrong. Some will want us to shoulder the blame for things they did to contribute to the problem as well.

It's only a game if you agree to play it and participate. After all, there is a need for two persons to agree on dating each others. Personally, I would never consider dating anybody. Mostly because my relationship preferences clash big time with typical dating.

Yeah maybe, especially since he/she hasn't commented on it either way. In that ghosting-thread JJ said that it's supposedly 34 which is the age that SA claimed to be.

it is a game if you decide to play it.
the women that make a game out of dating are in it for the thrill of being hunted and perhaps for a night of fun.
the ones that are worth the effort (in my opinion), don't play the 'game', at least not with you.

Dating is only a game for immature people. When the primary objective of dating is sex, which it usually is for people who consider dating to be a game, immature, typically young(but not always) people. I know women who are always harping about how they don't "chase" men, yet they are constantly playing the game of playing the game of making men chase them.. Yes, I said making. Because these women are only interested in men who chase them, and they brag about their conquests to their friends. Binders of men chasing them but none of the chasers ever get the prize, EVER because these women have no respect for men who would pursue them. They only respect the man that reverse the game and make her do the chasing. Yes, the non chaser always chases, but that is not the side of her that the public gets to know. These women are brutal, unfeeling icebergs. They play their chasers by referring to them as dear friends, realizing full well that they are far more than friends to the guys who chase. You find a misogynist in your life, you can bet he has had many experiences with the above mentioned breed of female in his life. And this type of woman prowls WP too.

Because some women might not like it if a guy asks for sex directly. This is the problem of the expectation to be politically correct or following some social norms, as aspiemike also pointed out. It is quite common, and it creates communication issues.

I also agree that playing games is more of an immature thing. Experienced people skip the games and bureaucracy, and go straight for what they want.

When was the last time a chimpanzee cared about who got invited to the coolest parties, whether or not you waited two days to make contact, or whether you split the bill or not? Modern day dating has been altered by the media.

A hundred years ago, a man who was strong, masculine and healthy was attractive, and a woman who was hourglass-shaped and feminine was attractive. Compare Georg Hackenschmidt to Justin Bieber and you'll see that something's f****d up about society today.

So, so true. Everything chagya said rings true.

I've been accused of being a misogynist myself. On the contrary, I love women--I just don't like women very much, if you know what I mean. If I were a more shallow person, I probably could've easily become a misogynist cuz I've been played, treated like s**t, and burned more times than I can count. These kinds of experiences can permanently jaundice one's view of women. And if the people who've accused me of misogyny could walk in my shoes and know what it's like, maybe there'd be more understanding and less judgment. Damn right I'm resentful!

I'm just so thankful that I'm married now and don't hafta deal with the dating scene anymore.

I've been involved with the types of girls that liked people chasing them. Found it interesting that they didn't like the reciprocation (when they chase) if ever happened and they would choose to go silent on you. Of course when you call them out on their BS, they are also quick to go on the counter attack... And they do get vicious too. As long as they play that game, they have to believe what they want to believe and noone should ever dare tell them anything different.

Why would it not be a game?

It's a game because people's egos get involved. Somehow trying to find a person who you're compatible with and want to spend time with while vulnerable turns people defensive.

It seems fairly common for AS people to see social situations they have difficulty with as complex "games" where they have little cute as to the rules, whilst everyone else does.
Even to see other people as so "expert" they don't even need to conciously think what these rules are. Thus couldn't explain them to a "novice" anyway.

I was thinking more along the lines of AS/ND people tending to prefer direct communication. i.e "call a spade a spade". Whereas NT people can use ambiguous terms and expect "hidden meaning".
I'd never even though of "cuddle"/"watch a movie"/"dinner" as having much to do with sex. Except for cuddling as "foreplay", but desirable in itself.

...And I think that's totally stupid. I'd rather know exactly where a man stands. I don't want to waste my time. If I'm spending time with a man who only wants one thing, i'm not spending time with a man who wants to get to know me.