Fell for a girl who is ASD, but she is in very dire straits

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dreamy
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15 Dec 2014, 2:23 pm

I agree with the other posters that you should not get involved. I have heard so many stories of men having years of their life eaten up trying to help someone, like the other poster said. You understand this and are trying to be careful. The problem is that if you spend time helping her or just having friendly conversations, you are likely to slip into having deeper feelings, before you can stop yourself.

I think if you can truly remain friends, tell her you are sorry and that you have read some about ASD and will keep learning. Tell her you didn't mean to be pressuring or anything, and that you don't have some motive, and you just can tell she needs a friend because her life is hard right now. And say that you enjoyed getting to know her. Don't lie to her. She will figure it out anyway, and you are already on thin ice with her. And give her space if she wants it. Don't be pressuring or needy. Don't keep reacting badly to things she says.



dragonsfire1981
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15 Dec 2014, 2:51 pm

Thanks, yes I pretty much told her that earlier today, I sent her a message, although she didn't respond yet but she's busy so far. I just hope for her sake she gets her life back on track in the next few months, I think I was sucked into her problems, but I'm only human, I don't know how I could have reacted differently. Well I might have done a little bit had she told me she had ASD from the first moment we talked but yeah it is the way it is now. I may update this thread gradually if major things develop....

dreamy wrote:
I agree with the other posters that you should not get involved. I have heard so many stories of men having years of their life eaten up trying to help someone, like the other poster said. You understand this and are trying to be careful. The problem is that if you spend time helping her or just having friendly conversations, you are likely to slip into having deeper feelings, before you can stop yourself.

I think if you can truly remain friends, tell her you are sorry and that you have read some about ASD and will keep learning. Tell her you didn't mean to be pressuring or anything, and that you don't have some motive, and you just can tell she needs a friend because her life is hard right now. And say that you enjoyed getting to know her. Don't lie to her. She will figure it out anyway, and you are already on thin ice with her. And give her space if she wants it. Don't be pressuring or needy. Don't keep reacting badly to things she says.



League_Girl
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15 Dec 2014, 3:07 pm

If she doesn't respond, I think it would be time to move on.


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Paukipaul
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16 Dec 2014, 7:50 am

Have you ever considered that she just might be histrionic, or borderline?

That is like, hungry for attention, making up wild stories to keep you interested, Imitation of whatever nescassary. These kind of guys can imitate ASD easely. they are naturals actors, and very sensitive of your weaknesses.

I wouldn't trust her one bit.

Get some clarifications of her background, get in contact with her parents, friends, doctors who diagnosed her if possible.

If she is what i belive she is, She'll dump you after having sucked all te life you have out of you.